don't know what to do!

[littlefireball]

OK, so i've been dating this guy for almost a year now, well, you can hardly call it dating. We work together so email and talk a little every day, but we only get together outside of work every other weekend for a day. At first I was fine with this - i just had broken up with my fiance and wanted to move into something new slowly, so it was fine. But now I think I want more, but don't know how to approach the new guy about this. He is really into his guy friends - and in my past relationships, my bfs have always wanted to spend time with me over their buddies, to the point where they lost friendships just to be with me (not that that's what i want, but frankly, i am used to having a guy who wants to be with me 24/7).

 

I just don't know if i am expecting too much to have him want to spend more time with me. It makes it weird because technically we do see each other every day at work, but that doesn't count in my opinion. He's also very shy like me, and we both have trouble admitting our feelings in general to each other, so it could be that he wants to spend more time with me but thinks i don't feel the same, so he's playing it cool. i just can't tell. But it strkes me as odd that he never asks me to spend time with him and his friends, besides the fact that they live in another state (he drives an hour+ to spend each weekend with them, so bringing me along would mean imposing to have me stay there too for the weekend). There's just a lot of factors in all this, but any opinins or experiences dealing with a guy who doesn't seem to let you into enough of his life is appreciated. thanks!

[Iluvsiamese]

It's hard to read what might be behind this. He may be just one of those guys who is more into his buddies than relationships right now. You don't indicate his age bracket, which might be significant. However, some guys never really get past this until all their buddies get married and then there are those who never do.

 

On the other hand, he might just be shy and uncertain if you'd like to take this further. About all you can do is check it out yourself and be prepared for either possibility. So, find an event that you think would interest both of you and that takes place on the weekend normally spent with his pals. Ask him if he'd like to attend with you. See if you can get him out more often, even on week nights. If he indicates that he doesn't want to do any of this, then you know you are going nowhere. If he starts seeing more of you and is happy with this then you have what you want. Other than flat out asking him for more, which I don't think is your style, this is about the only way to get a handle on it.