AestheticLifestyle Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 Hey guys, I'll try and keep this fairly summarized since its a long story, but anyways I've known this girl for several years (5 or 6) and we've spent the past 11 months on and off talking. We probably broke it off twice leading up to the most recent time, mainly due to me not being ready for a relationship or her being extremely pushy for one. I've always enjoyed being around her and we did a lot of things over the course of us talking... we broke it off and then in August rekindled everything and I honestly felt like we were headed in the right direction this time. I felt like she was more mature, etc and that I was finally ready for a relationship.. we were good for a while but then she started bringing up things from the past, how I hurt her by not wanting a relationship, or bring up certain things from the past that I said I didn't like (like texting all the time, hanging out all the time (a guy needs his space every now and then), etc etc).... we went thru this for about 3 months until we got into a huge fight one night and broke it off completely...about a week ago I had the sudden urge to contact her again and do what I could to make things right again. I started to blame myself for the past and wanted to change up to make things work. I'm a junior in college and she's a sophomore in college so we both have plenty of stuff going on outside of our relationship. We hung out a few times and had a few conversations over what we were.. she claimed to have started to move on and wasn't sure what she wanted at this point.. I spent the night each of these times and we went to bed cuddling, etc. We had a perfect night Tuesday where everything felt normal... and then by Thursday it had gone downhill. I took her as my date to formal and she didn't seem to be enjoying herself and we got into a slight argument and its been weird ever since. At this point what do I do? I've developed pretty strong feelings for her again but I'm not sure if I should just move on or not... Ending it completely would also mean losing a friend of several years....It's honestly all way too complicated for me. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 It's not that complicated, really. You two just don't sound very compatible, in terms of having a romantic relationship. You've tried a couple times now but it's not working. As such, yes, I would move on. You don't need to be friends right now, either. Perhaps in the future when the dust has settled. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 When you hurt people, they rarely forget. It doesn't tend to matter how much you may have changed or how many good things you do to try to make amends, it doesn't work. That hurtful thing or things trumps all and may be brought up for years to come if you do stick around, causing more fights and break ups. Best to just move on. It wasn't meant to be. As for losing a friend, it is the nature of the beast. Ex lovers can make good friends, but when you hurt someone and I guess you hurt this girl a lot, she won't want to be your friend, she probably can't be your friend, it is too painful for her. Tip for the future. If you do not want to be in a relationship with someone who desperately wants to be in a relationship with you, it is best to just walk away Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 I'd say just move on. Relationships have rough patches, but it seems like things are rough more often than they are good in your case. Add to that the fact that she's still hurting from things earlier in the relationship, and there really isn't much left to build a strong relationship with. There is a chance that she will realise the two of you made better friends than partners and want to continue the friendship, but don't hold out for it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 If you were truly ready for a relationship it would not have been this hard. It's not a fault thing but an incompatibility one. You two are on different pages. Even if in your heart you felt ready, your versions of what a relationship looks like are too different. She's the type that wants 24/7 togetherness & you are never going to be able to handle that. I've been married for 10 years but DH & I need a few hours apart each day. Normally work provides that but we at least spend time in different rooms on weekends Link to post Share on other sites
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