Looks like I will never get over it, really

[TestAnto]

Hey everyone. This might be a bit long so excuse me for that.

 

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I am 19 years old, male, my ex-girlfriend and I broke up few years ago, 3 to be exact. We were together for 1. When I met her she was 14, I was 15. She was my first love and we were so compatible, really. We had so much fun, despite of how young we were. After a year or so she broke up with me due to many things such us distance (for the most part it was a LDR, not all of it though) and mainly because of my behaviour. I used to suffer from extremely low self esteem and confidence so I was trying to control her etc.

 

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After the break up we both tried to get back, we never really got over each other despite both of us growing. We would talk pretty often every few months but it simply wouldn't work out since her parents already hate me a ton so that makes it harder. That would happen for 3 years straight.

 

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Few months ago she reached out again on my birthday and we talked a lot for months, even met it was wonderful but we weren't together. Both of us were flirting, it was like a new relationship starting really. But distance was still an issue, so were her parents. We decided it's best for us not to keep this so we sent each other a last message and said a sweet goodbye and I love you. I am 19 now, she is 18 by the way.

 

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I know we both are very young but we went through a lot. She is the first girl I truly loved and I am her first love aswell. In the meantime I didn't try to get into a relationship with someone else simply because I always had feelings for her. She tried to find someone but told herself no one is like me so she backed off. Been 3 years since the break up and we still can't get over each other, even if we go no contact for a year.

 

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Now we haven't talked since August 2018 but it hurts. It hurts a lot. I am happy with my life, I study Psychology at college, I go out very often, I have my friends, my hobbies, gym, everything. But there are still times, some nights when I go to sleep, thats when I remember of her and I start feeling terrible. Times when I am happy and when I think of her I immediately just get sad. When I hear my friends telling me about their girls and then I remember of her. That's when I literally shut down.

 

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I really miss her. She was a very nice person. I have met so many girls, even now at college, I do often and almost no one is like her. I am being honest. And it wasn't just a teen love. When I met her I was just 14, now I am almost 20. She is so beautiful and I am pretty sure I will never find someone who is going to look as good as her, even though that's the last thing I care about right now. She was perfect for me.

 

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What hurts me the most is that till the last moment we loved each other a ton. If she cheated on me I wouldn't be feeling like that now. Damn distance ruined everything, and we had no choice. It's unfair something ended like this.

 

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I don't think I will ever get over her, but I want someone who has gone through this to give me some advices and tell me their experiences if possible. I have zero interest in finding someone else. It's been years, but I am still not healed up. Will I ever get over this?

[Garcon1986]

A lot of what you said is quite true. Those emotions are stuff we all feel at some point. I have gone through three relationships and breakups, and I learned a ton of stuff about my needs and failures.

 

The key here is you are 19. You are not an incompetent man because you didn't marry by the time you were 19, no matter what other people tell you. Nobody is allowed to get you down or pressure you without your permission. You have oodles of time ahead of you. It feels like losing your one and only true love to everybody at that age. Women just appear to get over it more quickly because in general, women achieve emotional maturity faster. But don't worry about that.

 

Make sure you are healed thoroughly. Then - get back into the dating scene again. You will have flashbacks of the good times and you know what? That is perfectly natural. Just work hard on making yourself a most excellent gentleman, and you will find another.

[HumanMachine]

I felt the same way about someone at 19

 

I’m now 26 and there have been 3 others since !!