is she or isn't she interested?

[Aardvark1]

It's the eternal question I know, but I got this feeling that a woman I've just started working with was interested in me as more than a friend. We've said let's get a drink sometime, she was going to call but lost my number temporarily, found it and said she would call me (in front of other people, which suprised me a bit), hasn't called nearly a week later still....what's going on???????

 

It's a shame as she seems very nice, has very "interested" body language and seems, like me, to find it easy for us to talk to each other on just about everything but going out for that first time....and I have an instinct that the ice would break between us quite easily then.....

 

But how to get past this first hurdle and find out if she really is interested?

 

and advice guys?

[*Juliana*]

It's the eternal question I know, but I got this feeling that a woman I've just started working with was interested in me as more than a friend. We've said let's get a drink sometime, she was going to call but lost my number temporarily, found it and said she would call me (in front of other people, which suprised me a bit), hasn't called nearly a week later still....what's going on??????? It's a shame as she seems very nice, has very "interested" body language and seems, like me, to find it easy for us to talk to each other on just about everything but going out for that first time....and I have an instinct that the ice would break between us quite easily then..... But how to get past this first hurdle and find out if she really is interested? and advice guys?

Call her. Make an arranged date to go out. If she wants to see you again after the first date then you'll know she's interested for sure. sorry i can't help out anymore.

[Maffy]

Yes, wait another week, than call her. Tell her: so when are we going for that drink?! She will see you care and are eager to see her. That extra attention is sometimes the little nudge we need to realise it's time to give it a try. A girl can really get along with someone and be flirtatious, but not be sure about boyfriend-material... however a guys determination can give him a definite bonus, especially if the girl has an incling at the start.

 

A lot of good potential relationships never see daylight because no one wants to make the official first move... which carries the pressures of success or failure..

 

As a women, i usually prefer the guy to manifest his interest first. It shows confidence, and its nice to be pursued. If im not interested, he probably wont get a second date (definetely not a third!)

 

Just keep your first dates casual and unformal, so you can still maintain a good work relationship even if it doesnt go any further.

 

Maffy

[Tony T]

While many people don't seem to be able to meet people other than at work, it is one of the most dangerous places find people for dating.

 

As the relationship progresses, rumors and gossip...some of it quite vicious...begins on the part of co-workers. If there is a break up, particularly if it's a nasty one, working closely with someone afterwards can be very awkward and demoralizing.

 

Even if you have clear understandings in the beginning, people are human and don't always take a break up well.

 

I also strongly suggest you keep your flirting, dating, etc. to yourselves. I don't know if that's possible but people can be cruel in the sorts of things they spread around from time to time.

 

If she hasn't actually called you, asking for your number in front of other people may have been an exercise in showing off her seduction skills rather than a sincere desire to get your number. Maybe it was a dare. I think if someone is really sincere, they do that sort of thing privately, one on one, and they follow through. Doing this so other people could observe what would normally be a private matter may be a danger signal.

 

Also consult your workplace for their policy on dating co-workers. At some places, doing so in the open can get you fired.

 

I hope this works out for you...but you may ultimately find the price you pay in other ways isn't worth it. Good luck!