Break up with my friend of 7 years or not?

[pichxx]

I am deciding whether to break up with my friend or not...

 

We've been friends for 7 years. 4 years in high school and 3 years long distance. At first, I was afraid that after high school, our long-distance friendship would not work for us, but eventually we made it work. We would Face time and message each other almost everyday to stay in touch. There are even times when she would come back home and we would see each other. Actually, there were many times while she was abroad, she would just ignore me or not talk to me out of nowhere, which would take up 1-3 months. Like I honestly don't know what I did wrong. After the "ignoring" phase, I would ask her, "What did I do wrong?" She said that I did not do anything wrong. She tells me that it's her problem and that there's something wrong with her. I told her that if there is something wrong, she should tell me because I am really willing to help her. But then, she still doesn't ask for my help. She doesn't open up to me about anything. The only help she would ask for is school stuff, projects, homework, etc. Most of the time, I feel like I'm the only one who puts in more effort in order for our friendship to work. When something goes wrong, I am usually the one who says sorry even if I didn't do anything wrong at all.

 

I know that people and things change and I have to accept that. It just seems so different now. I feel like I couldn't keep up with her anymore or continue this friendship any longer. We're always on-and-off and it seems like I'm the only one who keeps on trying to fix and put in more effort for the friendship to work. I just feel like this wouldn't be beneficial for the both of us anymore.

[ExpatInItaly]

I am gathering you have much stronger feelings for her than just a friend?

 

You speak about this as though it were a relationship, while for her, it's just one of many friendships she has. She doesn't see the need to put in the same effort and emotional investment you do, because she apparently doesn't feel the way you do.

[stillafool]

You two have out grown each other. She's extremely busy with her life while you're wondering where she is. Get additional friends so you aren't only relying on one person for friendship.

[stillafool]

I am gathering you have much stronger feelings for her than just a friend?

 

You speak about this as though it were a relationship, while for her, it's just one of many friendships she has. She doesn't see the need to put in the same effort and emotional investment you do, because she apparently doesn't feel the way you do.

 

I've had female friends act this way towards me and it's creepy. I don't like it when women who get too attached.

[ExpatInItaly]

I've had female friends act this way towards me and it's creepy. I don't like it when women who get too attached.

 

Yes, same for me. I'm a woman and have had to put up boundaries with a couple female friends for the same reasons. One I completely cut off because she was too attached and it was starting to make me very uncomfortable.

 

But OP - This girl? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/platonic/friendship/668729-my-best-friend-lost-her-virginity-through-dating-app-2.html If so, it's quite obvious you're in love with her and are jealous and hurt that she doesn't feel the same way. I think you need to be honest with yourself that you've been hoping she would choose you, but she hasn't. Your friendship went sideways because you were jealous she lost her virginity and essentially insulted her, and she likely doesn't want to be friends now - both because she knows you're into her and because you were not a very good friend to her recently.