Author TooRational Posted November 22, 2018 Author Share Posted November 22, 2018 LOL. It was the right call. At first when I told her she said "Noooo! You can't do that!!!" But she was pulling my leg. She's glad I'm going. She's actually going to go shopping by herself that night and will go and sleep at my place while waiting for me I couldn't hope for a better outcome. I'm still going to bring up our anxious-avoidant struggle at some point this weekend because it's the elephant in the room. Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 Update: I'm going to play pool with my cousin Friday night. We have been talking about it for a while and I suggested we go this week. I don't see it as "getting back" at my gf at all but I need to take a step back. To be honest I'm somewhat turned off by the whole thing. I need to regain some kind of control in this relationship as some of you said. Ironic as she texted me around lunch saying that she's really looking forward to her massage this weekend. It's relatively rare that she says that she's looking forward to spending time with me (I know she is even though she doesn't voice it). I would usually be all giddy getting that kind of text but now I'm like, meh. A boys night out will be good for my cousin (his gf is currently fighting cancer) and good for me as well. I hope I'm making the right decision. Obviously I'm anxious about it. I'm risking turning off my gf further while she's currently really looking forward to our time together this weekend. She'll be more attracted to you and respect you more when she comes to realize that your world doesn't revolve around her, that you have your own life. You need to have a balance in your relationship where you're not too close, but you're not too far. Don't be too available, all the time. She'll take you for granted. It's good that you're taking some time off to spend it with your friends. I highly recommend you do that more often. Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 I'm still going to bring up our anxious-avoidant struggle at some point this weekend because it's the elephant in the room. If it's her personality, I don't know if there's anything to discuss. Look, sometimes, our actions create a dynamic that causes a ripple effect in the relationship. Sometimes it's best to leave things unsaid and work on changing our actions to bring the relationship back to an equilibrium. Just my 2 cents. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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