Parents of divorce what would you do?

[Serenity35]

Last night my ex dropped off one of my kids from his weekend visit, I was sitting outside and watched his driving. I mentioned to my friend on the phone that he was driving like he was drunk. That was exactly the case. He had my teenage son and my youngest (7) in his truck with him. He was even to drunk to walk. This isn't the first time either. The kids have come home and told me that "Dad was driving home last night and almost hit a tree"

The last time he picked up the kids I didn't realize he was drunk until he started calling my cell phone while he was driving. I warned him then that if he ever did it again that I would call the police. Told him he was an idiot to jeopardize our children like that.

He also takes paxil and sleeping pills (hopfully only at night). He also has a drunk driving causing injury record from about 14 years ago.

Now with all that being said, I have a teenage son who hates me, because I was the one who left the marriage. He blames me for everything ( and then some) but alot of this has been inspired by his Dad and grandmother (as I have posted in another thread.) If I pursue the drunk driving issue I know I will have to harbour the blame from my son, he will hate me even more. Or do I give him (ex) one more chance to start acting like an adult and pray that he doesn't do it again? I did write him a lengthy email today with the threat of calling children's services on him, but as of writing this thread I still have not gotten any response. I'm so angry with him I might just spit bullets!!!

[smile95]

What is the question? You need to do SOMETHING! What is wrong with him?? You really need to take some type of action. I realize you may have feelings for this man and not want to take the kids from seeing him, but you are putting their lives in a drunk and drugged man's hands???? I would NOT let him even take them again.

[LucreziaBorgia]

You will want to talk to a lawyer about adjusting his visitation down to supervised visits only until he gets a handle on his drinking. You'll want to do it as soon as possible. There is no excuse - none for not doing this. Your children's lives are on the line: literally.

 

If I pursue the drunk driving issue I know I will have to harbour the blame from my son, he will hate me even more.

 

At least he will be alive to do so.

[Ladyjane14]

You will want to talk to a lawyer about adjusting his visitation down to supervised visits only until he gets a handle on his drinking. You'll want to do it as soon as possible. There is no excuse - none for not doing this. Your children's lives are on the line: literally.

 

 

 

At least he will be alive to do so.

 

Ditto.

 

You couldn't live with yourself if something bad happened, knowing you had failed to act. If it were me, I'd refuse visitation until after I had consulted with my attorney. What's he gonna do? ....haul you into court?

 

"Your honor, I couldn't allow the visitation because my ex-husband drives while intoxicated with my children in the car."

 

I don't think he'll really be willing to go there.

 

p.s. Be frank with your oldest boy. He might be mad at you, but he'll be alive to b*tch about it.

[Serenity35]

Thank you all for the responses..I know what the right thing to do is..before it is to late. I spoke with the oldest one tonight, explained to him that I know he will not be happy with my decision. He said some pretty awful things but he is fully aware that if I did do this he would be removed from the house. He said it wouldn't matter he would just go live with his grandmother...I said fine, at the very least you would be safe, to which he reply "Your a #@@#$%% B###$h and hung up. He called later and apologized and then said, if you rat out Dad I'll come and kill you...{big sigh}...Back into counselling for him...I hope so bad that this is the wake up call for the ex, maybe not seeing his kids alone for awhile will also make him understand. From now on it is going to be visits here. No going out alone with him, until he can get some help.