Women: Never tell men they are great and they will find a great girl someday

[5x5]

One of my 5'4" Filipino friends who I was friends with through High School, never lacked for attractive Anglo and Asian girlfriends. While today he is happily married to an attractive Asian woman.

 

While one of my other 5'6" Filipino friends who I served with in the Army, was very popular with all sorts of women and didn't lack female partners.

 

One of my friends who came from Cambodia as a refugee when she was very young, has an older brother who had no trouble getting to be with plenty of women including Anglo ones.

 

One of my former sexual partners who is an attractive blonde Anglo woman, used to have a short Japanese boyfriend//sexual partner when she lived in Japan.

 

Another on e of my Army mates (5'5") is half Anglo and half Japanese. He is short and so many beautiful women (even my wife) swoon when they see him. He's never lacked for attractive sexual partners which also include his wife.

 

My wife has three non-Asian female friends, who are married to Western raised and schooled Chinese men. One of those men is attractive, the other two are not.

 

On and on etc.

Edited November 24, 2018 by 5x5

[thefooloftheyear]

There is data that affirms OP's assertion that Asian men are at a disadvantage overall in terms of women's preferences. The source is OKC's founder, Christian Rudder, in his book entitled Dataclysm, which uses data gleaned from OKCupid when Rudder was still the owner. He validates trends with data from other sites. I reference the tables on page 107, which detail women's preference for men of various races.

 

Asian women's preferences: Asian +19%, Black -38%, Latino -15%, White +35%

White women's preferences: Asian -26%, Black -19%, Latino -1%, White +46%

 

Excerpt: "Blacks are again under-appreciated by non-black users, but Asian men have joined them in the red.* On the positive side, women clearly prefer men of their own race––they're more "race-loyal" than men––but they also express a clear, secondary preference for white men."

 

*White men prefer Asian women almost as much as they prefer white women, rating them +8% and +11% respectively.

 

Combining this with what is pretty much indisputable... that women have a strong preference for taller men, and that women perceive eighty percent of men as below average (same source), it's understandable that OP perceives his position to be down in the hierarchy.

 

Women are the choosers and tend to be uncompromising. Even with their perceived average at the eightieth percentile, women aren't interested in average, and this applies to men at the top of the hierarchy (based on race and height) as well. The general conclusion to be drawn is that the vast majority of men are not highly favored in the dating-mating game. Even being a tall, affluent, white man does not automatically put one in the catbird seat.

 

Everyone struggles, granted some more than others. Even men and women who would be considered the most desirable struggle to find a match that is just right for them... because the higher a person's market value the more picky they become in terms of what they feel they deserve. Attractive white women, the most desired creatures on the planet, have trouble finding a mate who both meets their standard, and is willing to commit and remain monogamous (when the world is his oyster, so to speak).

 

OP's problem is that he sees himself as somewhat entitled, yet at the same time highly and uniquely disadvantaged. The reality is that everyone struggles to get what they want and remain satisfied. Natures goal is not to make it easy or for us to feel satiated, but to use our struggle and inherit dissatisfaction to achieve its own ends. EthanBlack, your best odds are to concentrate on Asian women who are not fixated on white men, and who are done optimizing and ready to choose.

 

Even without all the data, I have found that it's true...

 

And it's not just about short...Its a few things...Many Asian men are never seen as Alpha types, never seen as "masculine or manly".They are even portrayed in movies as these types..It's one thing to be short...its entirely another to be small...As most Asian guys are..I have said it before, with women its not so much about tall as it is small..>There are plenty of shorter guys that aren't really small..

 

And I have heard more than one woman proclaim she wouldn't date an Asian guy, then make a gesture with her thumb and forefinger(meaning the guy has a small dick)...

 

So sure, the struggles must be real....

 

It is odd that I have on several occasions have been pursued by tiny Asian women, even though I am a guy that will dwarf most Asian women...Do they like huge guys?? I dunno there...I don't really have any interest in teeny women...

 

So here are the options...

 

You can't force people to like you...If you are at the age where women still are very selective, then it will be tough sledding...If I were the OP, I would stay focused on my life/career/family, etc and know that there will be a point where the tables DO turn...Guys over 40 or so, if they have any of their crap together, will find it a literal buffet of available women...Guys have a huge edge at that point..Women who would have once dismissed you, now see you as a viable option...If something comes sooner, great, but there is no doubt that the tables do turn....

 

TFY

[elaine567]

That's exactly it. Women I'm attracted to have sufficient enough choice in that I don't meet their minimum standard in terms of looks.

 

Again you are pitching above your league. It is a mismatch that will not work out well for you, unless you change your MO.

These girls know they can get "better" and as everyone wants "the best they can get", they pass on you.

 

Same old story in just about everything in life.

There will always be people who are born with greater advantages, looks intelligence, wealth, education, power, class... etc.

 

You can't change other people or society just because you deem it unfair or it does not work for you, you just have to accept and go with the flow and make the best of what you have, like everyone else has to.

[EthanBlack]

One of my 5'4" Filipino friends who I was friends with through High School, never lacked for attractive Anglo and Asian girlfriends. While today he is happily married to an attractive Asian woman.

 

While one of my other 5'6" Filipino friends who I served with in the Army, was very popular with all sorts of women and didn't lack female partners.

 

One of my friends who came from Cambodia as a refugee when she was very young, has an older brother who had no trouble getting to be with plenty of women including Anglo ones.

 

One of my former sexual partners who is an attractive blonde Anglo woman, used to have a short Japanese boyfriend//sexual partner when she lived in Japan.

 

Another on e of my Army mates (5'5") is half Anglo and half Japanese. He is short and so many beautiful women (even my wife) swoon when they see him. He's never lacked for attractive sexual partners which also include his wife.

 

My wife has three non-Asian female friends, who are married to Western raised and schooled Chinese men. One of those men is attractive, the other two are not.

 

On and on etc.

 

Those examples you gave are exceptions to the rule.

 

OP's problem is that he sees himself as somewhat entitled, yet at the same time highly and uniquely disadvantaged. The reality is that everyone struggles to get what they want and remain satisfied. Natures goal is not to make it easy or for us to feel satiated, but to use our struggle and inherit dissatisfaction to achieve its own ends. EthanBlack, your best odds are to concentrate on Asian women who are not fixated on white men, and who are done optimizing and ready to choose.

 

This reeks of white male privilege. Yes, not EVERY SINGLE white man is gonna be highly desirable. Just like how not every single white man is gonna be affluent. That's common sense. Everyone knows that. And that's NOT what people are claiming when we talk about white privilege.

 

White privilege is simply that your chances for success in life whether it's career or romantic relationships is HIGHER. It's not a guarantee. There are no guarantees in life.

 

I love how whenever someone points out white privilege, white people get so offended and end up giving examples of how such and such white guy isn't doing so well and then point out how a few Asian guys or some other visible minority guy is having lots of success.

 

Think of this way. If you could choose what race you were to be born as, what would you choose? Given that all the other factors are variable. What are the BEST chances for a successful, happy life in terms of race?

 

Just because some tall white guys struggle with dating and that there exists 5'5 Asian guys who are dating beautiful girls DOES NOT invalidate my main point which is that being an Asian man is a disadvantage for dating.

[elaine567]

.If I were the OP, I would stay focused on my life/career/family, etc and know that there will be a point where the tables DO turn...Guys over 40 or so, if they have any of their crap together, will find it a literal buffet of available women...Guys have a huge edge at that point..Women who would have once dismissed you, now see you as a viable option...If something comes sooner, great, but there is no doubt that the tables do turn....

Yes, maybe but not if the OP continues to pitch above his league and if he continues carrying that huge chip on his shoulder and is still giving off a negative vibe...

40 will come and go, then 50 then 60...

 

He needs to sort his "crap" out now, not wait for some fantasy period of life when the "hot babes will come running" in his direction...

He is already 35.

[Mike800]

Again you are pitching above your league. It is a mismatch that will not work out well for you, unless you change your MO.

These girls know they can get "better" and as everyone wants "the best they can get", they pass on you.

 

.

 

You keep assuming “the best you can get” is looks or money for everyone..it’s not

 

For some of us it’s the best connection and feeling we get around someone..

Edited November 24, 2018 by Mike800

[elaine567]

You keep assuming “the best you can get” is looks or money for everyone..it’s not

 

For some of us it’s the best connection and feeling we get around someone..

 

 

Of course connection and feeling is important no one said it isn't, but without basic mutual attraction which is mainly down to looks then most relationships are going nowhere.

If the thought of kissing someone, never mind having sex with them. generates little or no desire or even generates repulsion then it is a no go from the start.

[Mike800]

Of course connection and feeling is important no one said it isn't, but without basic mutual attraction which is mainly down to looks then most relationships are going nowhere.

If the thought of kissing someone, never mind having sex with them. generates little or no desire or even generates repulsion then it is a no go from the start.

 

That’s not the truth for all of us but yes repulsion there no chance..But there’s been women I wasn’t overly attracted to or turned off by at first glance but got to know them and they became sexy to me.. you don’t have to think holy **** that persons hot at first glance to gain attraction.

 

But you made it seem like even if they’res some attraction there a person would reject somebody if they feel they can get some better looking or whatever which is so not true.

[thefooloftheyear]

You keep assuming “the best you can get” is looks or money for everyone..it’s not

 

For some of us it’s the best connection and feeling we get around someone..

 

 

For some people, they feel a great connection and feeling to be in a Ferrari...They realize it's not going to happen, so rather than walking, they go out and buy a Toyota...And that Toyota works great for them..

 

Its really no different...

 

TFY

[Garcon1986]

So if there's no attraction at all then, Ethan, that's no different than escorts and prostitution.

 

You've got your information now, that many women here need physical attraction in order to pursue a relationship. They've been honest that if there is no physical attraction at all, they won't want that person as a boyfriend. What will you do with this information?

[Eugeleh]

 

I'm fine being alone. I've been alone for most of my life so it's not like it's some huge life-altering adjustment. It's more about society's perceptions and single shaming.

 

When you go to places like social events or even restaurants/bars with a lady on your arm, you're treated better and with more respect.

 

I would propose that at 35 it's high time to cease worrying about society's perceptions. You have a major hobby that you enjoy and you'll surely be back to work soon. You apparently earn enough to be able to do fun stuff. Who gives a cr*p what anyone else thinks.

 

I was in a similar situation as you at 35, although you probably have more relationship experience than I did based on what I can glean. By 35 I was in good shape , and had (still have) a good job which allows me a few luxuries. By 35 I had accepted that I might stay on my own (I did ultimately pair up), but I looked forward to the benefits of what I could afford as a single guy. There are concessions and compromises that must be made once you are in a long term relationship. Rest assured that there are positives to being on your own.

[ZA Dater]

If you didn't want to argue you wouldn't say something so nasty. I enjoyed going out and not worrying about money but I didn't have some evil plot to make them spend money to reject them.

 

Maybe my reality and your reality are different. But I'm very successful when it comes to both short term and long term love relationships and you aren't. So maybe you can learn something from me. If not, don't read my posts.

 

Sorry you found my comment nasty, it wasn't meant to be. Unfortunately there are many free loader women out there, unfortunately I have met a few of them.

 

I am glad you had good dating experiences.

[brigit87]

Sorry you found my comment nasty, it wasn't meant to be. Unfortunately there are many free loader women out there, unfortunately I have met a few of them.

 

I am glad you had good dating experiences.

 

I did enjoy dating and I hope the you have more dates that you can enjoy.

 

It's nice to have people to talk to, go out with and spend time with and feel happy about the experience.