Conqueror Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 I first started posting here about 3 years ago. Affair has been over almost 4 years. I updated you all about ex-MM moving to my neighborhood and his child is attending the same school as mind. I’ve told you all back in February of this year how his wife always seems to go out of her way to contact me. I even asked if she wanted to be my friend, which many of you advised I should keep my distance...and I have. I don’t contact her and I don’t contact him. I’ve moved on. However, his wife contacts me even more now. She and I are board members of the PTA at the school. And ex mm and I are still in the same industry. We don’t see each other often other than at meetings occasionally. She goes to the meetings too. She calls me sometimes. Most of the time I don’t answer. Just tonight she sent a text message saying Happy Thanksgiving. I didn’t answer. I am always nice and cordial to her in person but all of this texting and calling from her to me does not make sense to me. Every time We are at meetings-whether at the school or business-if I’m talking to someone she goes out of her way to come over and talk to the same people I’m talking to... She sent me a text a couple of weeks ago saying it was great catching up. Wtf! Lol. Truth is, it’s a bit much and I honestly don’t think we should be contacting each other like that. I don’t mind being cordial in person, but...yeah. Why is she still contacting me? I’m trying to do the right thing here. Thanks for reading. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 Like you said - be cordial in person, but nothing beyond the basic niceties. Don't text, at all, don't respond to her texts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 block her on your phone, so all she gets is a message that you are unavailable I think she is unhappy or lonely, curious about you maybe, just let her move on you can not be openly rude, but quietly block her instead 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 Why is she still contacting me? Assuming she is still with her husband, she's probably making sure you don't forget who she is, and making sure you don't get any ideas about her husband again. Kind of marking her territory. Even if you're not interested she wants you to know she is the boss and is watching you like a hawk in case you get any ideas. Just block her number. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 Sometimes people do things that make sense only to them. After my spouse ended his brief affair, I would get messages form his ex-ow saying how great I was, we should be friends, and if I ever wanted marriage advice or to talk about problems with mu husband, I could go to her. That was just weird. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 Assuming she is still with her husband, she's probably making sure you don't forget who she is, and making sure you don't get any ideas about her husband again. Kind of marking her territory. Even if you're not interested she wants you to know she is the boss and is watching you like a hawk in case you get any ideas. Just block her number. Agreed. And beyond this, she may think she's extracting some twisted revenge by messing with you. Block her, avoid her and move on... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 I can't recall if the school community knows of the affair (if it was mine, it would have spread like wildfire) but she may be doing it for appearance sake - to show that she's the bigger person who can forgive those who've wronged her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 She is trying to be the bigger person here and if all is cordial then great. I would not be in too much of a hurry to block or to ignore or to cut her off dead, she may then not be so cordial and as you are the OW, who tried to "steal her husband", she may make life a little more difficult for you. I would not be rocking any boats if I were you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 I’d stop being cordial about it and tell her under no uncertain terms that you don’t want her to text you. Tell her that if she does it again, you’re going to block her. If her behavior continues, you might want to consider moving. It’s likely she moved to that neighborhood because you were there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 I’d stop being cordial about it and tell her under no uncertain terms that you don’t want her to text you. Tell her that if she does it again, you’re going to block her. If her behavior continues, you might want to consider moving. It’s likely she moved to that neighborhood because you were there. She moved to that neighbourhood with her husband the OP's ex MM. He knew the OP lived there. I'm not sure of his motives for doing that.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conqueror Posted November 23, 2018 Author Share Posted November 23, 2018 I can't recall if the school community knows of the affair (if it was mine, it would have spread like wildfire) but she may be doing it for appearance sake - to show that she's the bigger person who can forgive those who've wronged her. The school community does not know anything about this as far as I am concerned. We moved to this area almost 2 years ago. It’s funny because they moved to this neighborhood several months later (and he knew that I lived in this neighborhood. Not sure if she did). At this point I am not concerned about whether she moved on or not. My concern is my family and especially my husband who was broken by my actions for quite some time. Any forgivenesses that she has for me is for herself and her mind only. Thanks so much for reading and responding. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conqueror Posted November 23, 2018 Author Share Posted November 23, 2018 She is trying to be the bigger person here and if all is cordial then great. I would not be in too much of a hurry to block or to ignore or to cut her off dead, she may then not be so cordial and as you are the OW, who tried to "steal her husband", she may make life a little more difficult for you. I would not be rocking any boats if I were you. Thanks for commenting Elaine. There is nothing she can do to me at this point. She can’t make my life difficult. What will she do, tell my husband? I don’t mind being cordial but the excessive phone calls and text messages are not needed. If I see her, we wave or speak. I don’t feel it needs to go further than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conqueror Posted November 23, 2018 Author Share Posted November 23, 2018 I’d stop being cordial about it and tell her under no uncertain terms that you don’t want her to text you. Tell her that if she does it again, you’re going to block her. If her behavior continues, you might want to consider moving. It’s likely she moved to that neighborhood because you were there. I think I may do that bathtub. I don’t mind being cordial but these phone calls and text messages are starting to get a little out of hand. I don’t believe she knew I lived here, but her husband definitely did. When we were at a meeting last year, he happened to ask where I lived and me not thinking (and being over the situation) and being nice said. “Oh i live in......” Judging by her reaction when she and I ran into each other st the kids’ school on the first day, she seemed just as surprised as I was. And pretty mad. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 Thanks for commenting Elaine. There is nothing she can do to me at this point. She can’t make my life difficult. What will she do, tell my husband? I don’t mind being cordial but the excessive phone calls and text messages are not needed. If I see her, we wave or speak. I don’t feel it needs to go further than that. Your husband knows but do all the rest of the community, your children, their friends...? I think just continuing to wave and speak is perfect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 I would have blocked her after the first contact. Definitely block her as there is no good reason not to since your husband knows about the affair. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 24, 2018 Share Posted November 24, 2018 I don’t mind being cordial but the excessive phone calls and text messages are not needed. What is your husband's reaction to all this? Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted November 24, 2018 Share Posted November 24, 2018 She keeps her friends close and her enemies closer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conqueror Posted November 25, 2018 Author Share Posted November 25, 2018 She keeps her friends close and her enemies closer. I understand that Simple Logic. It was so long ago and quite frankly I am not at all interested in her husband. I never tried to steal him from her or seduce him. As far as I knew back then, they were over and we were planning a future. I am certainly not her enemy. I wish she could see that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conqueror Posted November 25, 2018 Author Share Posted November 25, 2018 What is your husband's reaction to all this? Mr. Lucky He doesn’t want us communicating. Of course at this point it’s hard not to since we are board members of the PTA. ? Link to post Share on other sites
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