i need immediate advice!

[angel eyes]

yesterday was a very hard moment in my life because my boyfriend and i were talking about religion,since we have future plans of marrying each other we had to talk about religion because we don't have the same beliefs for example i'm catholic he's baptist he doesn't want to convert neither do i so in order for us to marry i have to swear that my children woul be catholics something he doesn't want to happen because he wants to be part of their religious education and i agree but it could be difficult for me to adopt a protestant faith so i told him that we should stop our wedding plans and if we can't agree on this subject then we should go on separate ways. We both started to cry cause we felt that it was unfair to be separated, He said he's not leaving me without fighting so he suggested that he'll go with me to talk to the catholic priest and i agreed on going with him to his pastor to learn about the baptist beliefs at the same time we will consider other churches because he said that we will find our own church ,since he won't give me up. I'm scared that this will not work i love him with all my heart. His dad is the most concerned cause he doesn't want him to be catholic. please help me!

[kikie]

how old are you?

 

why are you so sure u'll marry him?

 

if i were u, i wouldn't worry much about those questions until he suggests to get engaged or something like that...

 

if you're young (?), chances are you will drift apart later on anyway ...

 

so just enjoy the relationship & dont make trouble where it doesn't need to be made!

 

good luck...

[WGirl]

they are planning the wedding already. This sounds like a difficult choice. My parents had to make the same choice with me. My mother is Protestant and my father is Catholic. I am neither. I was baptized Catholic as a favor to my grandfather. I don't consider myself a Catholic because I never went to Sunday school, made my First Communion or Confirmation. I was not really raised with either religion. Morals were instilled, I celebrated the Christian holidays and everything. I didn't know the true meaning of some of the holidays until I got older. My parents decided to let me choose my own religion when I got older. Now that I am older, I actually do not follow any organized religion because I can't fit my beliefs into any religion.

 

Anyways, you shouldn't let this break you up if you love each other. It is sad that it does happen. Hopefully, you can find some way to compromise on how to raise your children. If it is such a big deal to you and your current relationship doesn't work out, find out about religious differences at the beginning of a relationship instead of later on when you are thinking about getting married.

 

From the sounds of it, one of you will have to give in to save the relationship or go your separate ways. I don't really know what suggest because religion is such a touch subject.

how old are you? why are you so sure u'll marry him? if i were u, i wouldn't worry much about those questions until he suggests to get engaged or something like that... if you're young (?), chances are you will drift apart later on anyway ... so just enjoy the relationship & dont make trouble where it doesn't need to be made!

 

good luck...

[Tony T]

I used to really feel bad when I was dating someone of a different religion. I wondered what would happen if we got married and I went to heaven and she went to hell...and the kids sort of divided between the two places. I mean you really don't have a lot of say about that sort of thing. It's really hard.

 

The Catholic religion is pretty strict when it comes to these sorts of things. But I do know they practically guarantee you'll go to heaven if you attend mass every Sunday and confess your sins on a regular basis. But, then again, the Baptists pretty much guarantee heaven if you don't drink or dance and you give ten percent of your earnings to the church.

 

So the way I see it is if you like to drink and dance, go Catholic. You'll both have a better chance of getting into heaven together. The kids...well, they'll just have to post here when they get to the point you're at now. The answer to their situation will depend on the current religious, philosophical, social and ethical thought.

[Ed]

Your choice to visit each other's church and talk to the priest and preacher, respectively, is a good idea. It may help each of you to gain a little more respect for the other's beliefs.

 

If things are going to work out between you and your boyfriend, at least one of you is going to have to give in on this potentially explosive issue without holding a grudge against the other.

 

Probably the best solution is for you both to compromise and choose a neutral Christian denomination you can each feel comfortable with.

 

If a compromise is too much for both of you to handle, then each of you should find another partner. If it comes to that, don't date anyone outside of your chosen faith or denomination.