Why are older (single) men taboo?

[Serotonine]

Serotonine, I suggest you start reading quality, mainstream media. You'll find nothing in it about older women being in high demand.

 

In the meantime, it would be wise to not believe everything you read on the interwebs. Critical thought is paramount.

 

Sure.Quick google search delivers hundreds of articles encouraging older women to date younger men (not supported by any data,mostly just feel good kind of stuff).

Examples https://nypost.com/2017/05/17/why-older-women-and-younger-men-are-a-perfect-match/

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/relationships/does-dating-younger-man-still-raise-eyebrows-meet-couples-making/

 

This list goes on and on.

 

Do the opposite search and you will see either articles trying t breakdown the reasons behind younger women opting for older guys, open criticism or some pure stats. Not even mainstream magazines for men are brave enough to encourage older men dating younger women.

 

I also suggest to cut on patronizing language and provide arguments not redirecting to some vague concepts like "interwebs".

[Serotonine]

In fact, the opposite is there l, like studies showing men of all ages sexually prefer very young women (18-25). I myself have been hit on by men as old as 70 when I was in my 20s.

 

Don't confuse propaganda and feel-good "you go girl" articles from cosmopolitans of sorts with actual studies and stats.Most of western media is ruled by the female imperative for a number of reasons (women having higher spending power is one of them).

 

And yes-men of all ages prefer women between 18 and 25. You probably refer to this study ( Aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating markets | Science Advances) of online dating patterns in large US cities clearly showing that female desirability if the highest at about 20 and gradually descending (regardless of the age of men initiating contact) while male desirability if the lowest at 20,gradually rises to the max between 40 and 50 and start descending after 50.

 

You may like or dislike it but this is the evidence. It eliminates the bias common for studies based on questionnaires. No man will ever admit that he prefers younger women when asked (not anonymously) because this may damage his reputation.9 out of 10 guys will give an answer something like this "age does not matter what matters if the person and mutual understanding etc".

 

There is also this study: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1728-4457.2009.00309.x

and many more.

[elaine567]

The "You go girl" articles are predominant in women's magazines as it is well known that women of whatever age need to avoid very much older men for their own good.

All hunky dory till the older guy starts failing. Then the age gap becomes an issue. Women tend to end up in their last good years as nursemaids and carers for older guys - not fun; older guys die off quicker too - not fun.

So best all round from a female perspective that women date younger men, practically it makes more sense.

[Serotonine]

The "You go girl" articles are predominant in women's magazines as it is well known that women of whatever age need to avoid very much older men for their own good.

 

"Well known" by whom? This is exactly what I mean when comparing an actual study with biased opinions.

 

All hunky dory till the older guy starts failing. Then the age gap becomes an issue. Women tend to end up in their last good years as nursemaids and carers for older guys - not fun; older guys die off quicker too - not fun.

So best all round from a female perspective that women date younger men, practically it makes more sense.

 

You use a strawman fallacy here. Of course it is not great when an older man is actually frail but remind me-where did we talk about dating men of geriatric age? We talk about fit and well men who happen to be older than a woman. George Clooneys and Brad Pitts not Clint Eastwoods and Kirk Douglases.

[elaine567]

"Well known" by whom? This is exactly what I mean when comparing an actual study with biased opinions.

 

 

 

You use a strawman fallacy here. Of course it is not great when an older man is actually frail but remind me-where did we talk about dating men of geriatric age? We talk about fit and well men who happen to be older than a woman. George Clooneys and Brad Pitts not Clint Eastwoods and Kirk Douglases.

 

 

Older men rapidly become geriatrics though, it is a fact of life.

 

In 10 years that fit vibrant 57 yo George Cluney is an elderly man... his wife will be 50, add another 10 years and at 60, she will be nursemaiding a 77 yo...

[Serotonine]

Older men rapidly become geriatrics though, it is a fact of life.

 

In 10 years that fit vibrant 57 yo George Cluney is an elderly man... his wife will be 50, add another 10 years and at 60, she will be nursemaiding a 77 yo...

 

Silvester Stallone is currently 72,Arnold is 71, Trump-72.

 

Another point-although women generally live a little bit longer than men (in the west) they are more prone to age related diseases (women consume up to 3/4 of healthcare budgets of many developed countries).So this can turn both ways.

 

Finally, this is the fact of life,we all going to get older and die. You've got to evaluate your risks, as much as men have to evaluate theirs when chosing a woman.

[elaine567]

Finally, this is the fact of life,we all going to get older and die. You've got to evaluate your risks, as much as men have to evaluate theirs when chosing a woman.

Yes we are all ageing, but women are usually seen as the carers, being aware of that may make some women think more carefully as to their choice of partner.

I see no advantage for anyone being parachuted into ageing issues prematurely. Ageing issues leading to infirmity and death are bad enough without choosing to get into all that before one's natural time, due to a large age gap relationship.

[Serotonine]

Yes we are all ageing, but women are usually seen as the carers, being aware of that may make some women think more carefully as to their choice of partner.

I see no advantage for anyone being parachuted into ageing issues prematurely. Ageing issues leading to infirmity and death are bad enough without choosing to get into all that before one's natural time, due to a large age gap relationship.

 

I don't know where you get this from.Walk into any geriatric medical ward and you will see that it is about 50/50.

 

Anyways, your concerns are absolutely reasonable.Men should take this into account too when choosing a woman above 50.

[carhill]

While times are changing as are gender lifespans, it is still a generality that women are the caregivers. I've seen the reverse in my social group and personally but still believe the societal message is valid in general, and starting from birth. One significant reason my mother chose not to get involved with men again after father died was, as she stated directly, she didn't want to take care of another man dying again. She went on to live another 26 years as a widow, by herself, dying a few months short of 90, after being married 33 years.

 

I think as long as there's equality in older/younger perceptions, in that an older woman/younger man scenario gets the same perception as the reverse with an older man/younger woman, society can comfort itself in its lack of hypocrisy. Perhaps I'll see that in my lifetime. IDK. Humans tend to be a hypocritical bunch, taboos included. Why? Because they can.

[basil67]

I don't know where you get this from.Walk into any geriatric medical ward and you will see that it is about 50/50.

 

It's not about who works in wards. It's about who does the care in real life

 

It's the women who overwhelmingly care for ageing parents.

 

I have personal and professional insight into the disability sector. Single parent carers are overwhelmingly female. I've only met one single dad carer in 20 years. The whole disability industry is overwhelmingly female too (male support workers are as rare and valuable as gold). My role is to help families navigate the system. I estimate that I engage with 80% women and 20% men.

 

Then you've got parents of young children. Care to guess the gender balance on the stay at home parent?

[Serotonine]

It's not about who works in wards. It's about who does the care in real life

 

It's the women who overwhelmingly care for ageing parents.

 

I have personal and professional insight into the disability sector. Single parent carers are overwhelmingly female. I've only met one single dad carer in 20 years. The whole disability industry is overwhelmingly female too (male support workers are as rare and valuable as gold). My role is to help families navigate the system. I estimate that I engage with 80% women and 20% men.

 

Then you've got parents of young children. Care to guess the gender balance on the stay at home parent?

 

I am not talking about the staff on the wards, I am talking about patients and their NOKs. It is about 50/50.

 

Women might care for aging relatives etc but when it comes to partners its about 50/50. or provide me statistics proving otherwise.

 

In fact, number one cause of frailty and inability to look after themselves for patients with advanced age is dementia.Women are more likely than men to suffer from dementia: it is about 65% to 35% in the UK (you can find similar stats for USA): https://www.dementiastatistics.org/statistics/prevalence-by-gender-in-the-uk/

 

16.3% of women died due to Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias in 2017 in the UK. It was the leading cause of death for women.

 

Life expectancy in the UK for males is just about 2 years shorter than females so this difference is irrelevant statistically.

 

So,by doing this blitz research I have stumbled on yet another argument for men to date younger women->statistically less likely to have a partner with mental disability.

[elaine567]

So,by doing this blitz research I have stumbled on yet another argument for men to date younger women->statistically less likely to have a partner with mental disability.

 

 

 

No-one is saying it is not a positive for MEN to date younger women, of course it is, BUT there are plenty of good reasons women should not date older men...

[brigit87]

No-one is saying it is not a positive for MEN to date younger women, of course it is, BUT there are plenty of good reasons women should not date older men...

 

That's why women date older men. Get married. Get money. Then leave and find men their own age. It happens all the time. And if I'm out and see a younger woman with an older guy 99.9% of the time it's about the money.

 

 

I could have done that married a much older financially established man. But I thought older dudes were gross. So....

[nospam99]

As a (pretty healthy) older dude I wonder .... I would be curious to see research about the factors that influence longevity and health. Do women really live that much longer or is the AVERAGE of men's life spans calculated and skewed by all the (foolish) men who die young because of substance abuse and careless activities? I don't know but would like to. What I do know is that as a 'dating' sexogenarian (love what that sounds like ), I have trouble finding women older than four years below my age who can keep up with me physically. How long I will be able to keep this up (and get it up - I kill me) remains, of course, to be seen.

 

Bottom line, I call bullshyt. The guys I've seen and known my age who are out of shape and sedentary or the ones who didn't make it to my age did it to themselves: too much alcohol (or weed or whatever) and french fries and not enough sleep and exercise.

Edited December 14, 2018 by nospam99

[hotpotato]

All older men? I'm not buying it.

 

I do however buy that there are some dirty old men who will hit on a very young women.

 

Nothing is 100%, but yes, I'd say men in general.

I've never heard a man be happy about dating an older women merely because of her age.

[Serotonine]

As a (pretty healthy) older dude I wonder .... I would be curious to see research about the factors that influence longevity and health. Do women really live that much longer or is the AVERAGE of men's life spans calculated and skewed by all the (foolish) men who die young because of substance abuse and careless activities? I don't know but would like to. What I do know is that as a 'dating' sexogenarian (love what that sounds like ), I have trouble finding women older than four years below my age who can keep up with me physically. How long I will be able to keep this up (and get it up - I kill me) remains, of course, to be seen.

 

Bottom line, I call bullshyt. The guys I've seen and known my age who are out of shape and sedentary or the ones who didn't make it to my age did it to themselves: too much alcohol (or weed or whatever) and french fries and not enough sleep and exercise.

 

This is easily google'able.

Depends on a country but generally in countries like the UK or Canada etc men live some 2 to 3 years shorter than women on average. This is due to injuries and accidental death.There are 10 to 20 times more men diying from work related injuries than women. "Male privilige" anyone?

 

When it comes to pure health realted issues-men generally live longer than women (corrected for income,race,demography,geography etc).This strongly depends on socioeconomic factors. Coming back to the UK (its just eadsier for me to search data rather thn spread over many other countries)-the main cause of death for men is cardiovascular diseases which is strongly correlated to socioeconomic factors (diet,obesity,alcohol consumption and smoking as you might know).Therefore your average "rich old" dude is likely to live longer than a woman of a similar age and class,but a working class guy is likely to die younger.

 

The reason men may live longer is due to testosterone exposure(lower occurence of osteoporosis=fewer hip fractures=hip fracture have almost 30% mortality for those above 75), lower levels of dementia (alzheimer,I mentioned above=reasons unknown), lower levels of obesity as compared to women =fewer complications related to obesity, higher levels of physical activity (work related pattern,men do more manual work) etc

Edited December 15, 2018 by Serotonine

[Serotonine]

Nothing is 100%, but yes, I'd say men in general.

I've never heard a man be happy about dating an older women merely because of her age.

 

Younger women date older men not merely because of their age but because of the (higher social) status they have.I obviouly cant comment on whether they are genuinely attracted to them or not ("batterflies in the stomach" kinda of thing).

 

I can comment on men though.A presence of an attractive 20 something years old does cause this effect. You literally melt away. No 30+ woman has ever made me feel this way.This does not mean that I am or havent been attracted to 30+ ones, but its just a little bit different feeling.Btw I am in my 30s

 

This si obviously me,other guys perhaps think differently.