Do you have a pattern of picking guys that cheat?

[Aliya3]

What do you think the common thread is between all your experiences? Picking that “bad boy”, emotionally unavailable kind of guy again? Picking the “scared of commitment” kind of guy? How about that guy that has little to no impulse control in his life…where he finds a way to get everything it is that he wants.

Edited November 23, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[d0nnivain]

I actually don't have that pattern. To the best of my knowledge I have never been cheated on. If I suspected somebody was cheating on me, I would have simply walked away. I make that position well known up front. The door swings one way. You step out, stay there because it locks behind you on the way out.

 

When I was dating I was a tad softer. I said I could probably have gotten past a single drunken kiss or something like that but not any kind of sex. If I found out the behavior was repeated, I'd assume the guy was searching for something that he felt was missing from his relationship with me & I'd kick him lose to go find that.

 

We teach people how to treat us. You have never developed a strong sense of self or good boundaries. People learn quickly that you will accept bad behavior from them because you are not emotionally strong enough to command respect. Work on yourself. Then you can break this nasty pattern.

[smackie9]

I don't have that "taming the beast" mentality where those feel they can "change" the bad into a good loyal BF. But for some reason people put their desire before their self worth.....kinda goes into the low self esteem category IMO.

[grays]

I fall for the marrying kind because I am the marrying kind (was married for 25 years and I think just feel at home married). The problem is the marrying kind of guy, at my age, is married. And they lie. So twice in four years I fell for married guys. The first one I discovered a year after we ended because he had to move to another state. Somehow was devastated even though I hadn’t seen him for a year. The other one was a slow dawning over a few months while he was trying desperately to convince me otherwise. Also devastating.

 

And now I’m with a guy who I really respect a ton, I would be so shocked if I found out he could do that and I’m on the brink. But I think everyday about how much he travels, has homes in two other cities. I’ve met his mom and sisters, several friends, of course spent time at his home here, but it would be perfectly possible for him to have a whole damn family in one of those other places. I guess I just really don’t trust my judgement regarding who to trust.