How do you show your desire to your date

[ZA Dater]

In order not to derail another thread I thought this would be interesting to debate. I have always battled with this, I mean really battle. What I do is be kind, show interest in them, compliment them but at what point do you know they are interested and how do you know if they have seen your interest?

 

 

As I say I have never been able to get this right and the more I read the more it seems it could be a fundamental issue for guys who don't have much success.

 

 

So much of dating seems to be based on how ladies to react to a guys moves but I cannot understand what I should be doing but clearly am not that I never seem to get anywhere, the proviso is that maybe 1 in 20 I actually like but I'd like to understand from a ladies point of view as to what you noted in a guy which says "he really likes me".

[5x5]

I talk to them as I would talk to anyone, with some humour since it's nice to smile and have a laugh. I look into their eyes quite a lot, there's no staring as such. Yet I hold there gaze longer when they reciprocally hold mine. With the smiles that come with that, while I am very close to them as well.

 

Then there's that unmistakable feeling of that delicious tingling and buzzing between us which comes with that. While the air also starts to feel like, what swimming in butter might be like.

 

It's at that moment I know it's time to touch their face, their hair while gazing into their eyes. Which is followed by perhaps another smile, a nod, a gulp of air, or their lips part in a sultry way. Plus more tingles with each stroke and touch.

 

Then the kiss, first it's not very forward, but it's not on the cheek. It's about being soft and luscious, with a touch of restraint, yet a hint of yearning and wanting with holding their bottom lip at the end for a slight moment longer before releasing it.

 

Then another look, because their eyes and your eyes want to see the object of each other's wanting. As follows from there it varies, sometimes it's a slow build up, sometimes it grows rapidly, yet more touching, more kissing, more eyes and some more words and gestures are going to be shared.

 

This varies, yet that's mostly how it goes for me. Also the banter before the touching and kissing and all the rest is often a bit ribald and sometimes very crude. Although euphemisms are sometimes used, yet "filthy" words can sometimes be a bit exciting, yet there is still no ambiguity in the wanting which is expressed even with euphemisms. Sometimes being explicit is very enticing, for some, while someone else will find a more measured and subtle seduction to be more to their liking.

 

Yet to sum it up eyes, tingles, reading anticipation, touch, eyes, kiss, eyes and go on. As to what is said, it often doesn't matter that much what you're talking about. All that matters is that moment when the air feels so thick you need a knife to cut it, that you connect lips and more.

 

If I don't feel that tingling and don't have the eye reciprocity, or see the swallow as moisture builds in their mouth. Then I don't have it and I'm not feeling it and they're not feeling it so I don't bother because there's othing their in terms of wanton attraction.

[5x5]

Also touching them, their hips hands, face, thighs, lips, light stroking on their neck to give them tingles, same on the inner thighs, their breast etc. While having them touch you. makes it obvious you desire them.

 

Which follows with them feeling your chest, your erection and dot dot dot.

[nospam99]

LOL ... 5x5, you ought to write 'bodice rippers'

[5x5]

LOL ... 5x5, you ought to write 'bodice rippers'

 

Nope it's not my thing, despite having ripped lots of bodices in my time.

 

That said I didn't always want to play.

 

I remember asking one woman at a communal kitchen, while caving with friends (when I was 21) what her name was.

 

To which she replied with a smile and a sultry voice "it can be whatever you want it to be". I not wanting her and finding that funny and not wanting to let it go smiled, then to her disappointment called her "Eric".

 

Funnily enough she and a friend came around and visited our campsite on their own initiative in the morning, yet none of us were interested in them.

 

What was funny was one of my mates pissed into another one of my mates water bottles. Which led to them throwing piss at each other.

 

The two women found the behaviour disgusting, yet of the six of us, five of us were infantrymen (myself included). And infantrymen can be pigs (especially Australian ones), so such behaviour is par for the course.

Edited November 23, 2018 by 5x5

[basil67]

5x5, well you just warmed me up. *rapidly fans self*

[basil67]

A guy who really likes me will seek out my company. He will flirt with me and, if there's chemistry, he will use physical touch with me.

 

One of the issues you're having is simply numbers related. If you only like say 1 in 20 women, it would be fair to say that only 1 in 20 of those women would be interested in you in return.

[losangelena]

A guy who really likes me will seek out my company. He will flirt with me and, if there's chemistry, he will use physical touch with me.

 

One of the issues you're having is simply numbers related. If you only like say 1 in 20 women, it would be fair to say that only 1 in 20 of those women would be interested in you in return.

 

I think the biggest shortcut to both showing and deciphering interest is through touch. It can be done innocently at first to test the waters, and can be used to escalate things once you know where you stand.

 

I remember one guy, he’d joined some friends I was with at a bar. I’d never seen him before in my life, but the second we made eye contact I was like, “oh it’s on.” We barely had a conversation, and there was some friendly arm touching on my end; a little later he came back inside from a smoke break, stood next to me, put his hand at the top of my back, and slowly slid it down to the small of my back. By the end of the night, we were tryna hook up in a bathroom stall, lol.

 

Anyway, there was not really a lot of talking or banter, but there was definitely touch, and some very pointed eye contact. That’s quite common, as I think about it.

 

The inverse is true, too. I’ve definitely been in situations where I would test the waters through some light, friendly touching, and the guy doesn’t reciprocate or escalate. It’s a very versatile tool.

Edited November 24, 2018 by losangelena

[5x5]

The inverse is true, too. I’ve definitely been in situations where I would test the waters through some light, friendly touching, and the guy doesn’t reciprocate or escalate. It’s a very versatile tool.

 

Yep it's a two way thing, if they're not reciprocally responsive and aren't keen there's nothing there to work with.

[snowboy91]

I think the biggest shortcut to both showing and deciphering interest is through touch. It can be done innocently at first to test the waters, and can be used to escalate things once you know where you stand.

 

I remember one guy, he’d joined some friends I was with at a bar. I’d never seen him before in my life, but the second we made eye contact I was like, “oh it’s on.” We barely had a conversation, and there was some friendly arm touching on my end; a little later he came back inside from a smoke break, stood next to me, put his hand at the top of my back, and slowly slid it down to the small of my back. By the end of the night, we were tryna hook up in a bathroom stall, lol.

 

Anyway, there was not really a lot of talking or banter, but there was definitely touch, and some very pointed eye contact. That’s quite common, as I think about it.

 

The inverse is true, too. I’ve definitely been in situations where I would test the waters through some light, friendly touching, and the guy doesn’t reciprocate or escalate. It’s a very versatile tool.

 

Agree with this! If I find I'm with someone who I'm into and seems to be into me, I'd start with the innocent touch - touching the arm, a brief hug, or even holding hands. I agree it's a great and quick way to find out where you stand - if they don't reciprocate then the answer is obvious, but hey, you haven't had a drink thrown in your face yet. If they do reciprocate, the answer is still obvious