Re: Why am I waiting for him?

[clia]

My opinion is that if someone says "I'm not interested in a relationship right now" it really means "I'm not interested in a relationship right now with you". That's the number one excuse in the book when men or women are trying to spare the other person's feelings.

Here's where the confusion lies...he says that he isn't interested in a relationship right now.

There is no confusion here. He told you how he feels. Now all you have to do is listen.

I can honestly admit that an exclusive relationship probably is not what he needs. I thought that I was okay with the way things are going; Let me clarify, he has taken me to places that personally mean a lot to him (he has only previosly taken his father there), we go to the park all the time where we do hold hands (although not as much as we used to), arms are around eachother, and we have a great time talking about everything and nothing at the same time...but he doesn't want a relationship.

Maybe that's true. Or maybe he doesn't want one with you. Just because you've spent a lot of time together and had some physical contact doesn't necessarily mean that you are someone he wants to date.

Anyways, he did say if he were ready to date someone, it would 'probably' be me.

Honestly, I think he's just trying to be nice. I, and nearly everyone I know has used that line at one time or another. True, maybe he's not ready for a relationship, but how does he know unless he tries? If he's not emotionally ready for it, then why do you want to date him anyway?

But lately, we havent' had much chemistry at all, and I'm not sure on whose part. Does anyone have any advice to offer? (I'm sure I probably answered a lot of my own question within the above passage, I'm just too blind to register)

Maybe he's pulling away because he's not interested in pursuing a relationship. He obviously enjoys spending time with you, but for one reason or another, something might not be there for him. (I could, of course, be wrong.)

 

I think that you need to stop hounding him about it and move on. Date other guys and make sure he knows you are dating other guys. Sometimes it takes a slap of reality like that to make a guy realize what he's missing. You can still see him on a friendly basis, but don't hold his hand or hug him. Draw the line. If he doesn't want to have a relationship, then don't give him the benefits of one. Just take a step back, give him some space, and move on with your life. Don't continue to wait for him to change his mind, because it might never happen.