Purepony Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 Okay I don’t know and can’t speak for him but if he really is remorseful I think you should give him a chance. A true sign of human compassion is forgiveness Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 Okay I don’t know and can’t speak for him but if he really is remorseful I think you should give him a chance. A true sign of human compassion is forgiveness Where was his compassion for his wife? Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 Where was his compassion for his wife? People makes mistakes abs this is one side of the story, we really don’t have both sides There is no perfect relationship Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 Why do we need both sides? He cheated on her multiple times. With a prostitute. Yuck. I’d be getting tested for stds. That’s one of those things you’d think you wouldn’t have to do anymore once you get married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Giraffe-A Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 Men can be so clueless, but if you let it go, they will continue to used this as their excuse. Not to mention the fact that this is illegal. He should be supporting you with the kids. If things are so tense at home and arguments is the theme, then he could take the kids out for a stroll to let you mellow out. That’s why you guys are a family, to support one another. I hope counseling helps you both. Link to post Share on other sites
starlight8 Posted December 24, 2018 Share Posted December 24, 2018 Men can be so clueless, but if you let it go, they will continue to used this as their excuse. Not to mention the fact that this is illegal. He should be supporting you with the kids. If things are so tense at home and arguments is the theme, then he could take the kids out for a stroll to let you mellow out. That’s why you guys are a family, to support one another. I hope counseling helps you both. 'men can be so clueless' forgive me, but I loathe statements like that. Why do we not get the same statements that almost rationalise why real responsibility cannot be just handed to us? Then you say 'if you let it go, they will continue to use this as their excuse.' This is so depressing, it sounds like rearing up children. You make having a boyfriend/husband sound like having a child who needs teaching where his boundaries are NOT to hurt you by cheating. So depressing to read. Link to post Share on other sites
Giraffe-A Posted December 24, 2018 Share Posted December 24, 2018 'men can be so clueless' forgive me, but I loathe statements like that. Why do we not get the same statements that almost rationalise why real responsibility cannot be just handed to us? Then you say 'if you let it go, they will continue to use this as their excuse.' This is so depressing, it sounds like rearing up children. You make having a boyfriend/husband sound like having a child who needs teaching where his boundaries are NOT to hurt you by cheating. So depressing to read. I’ll be sure to come more prepared with my pie chart and disclosures. Link to post Share on other sites
starlight8 Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 I’ll be sure to come more prepared with my pie chart and disclosures. Why the need for the sarcasm? My point was, using this excuse of 'ahh a human cant help it if he's a 'he', the 'hes' of the world can be clueless' only serves to let bad stuff go unaddressed and in the long run, don't really do anyone any favours. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
manfrombelow2 Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 To be fair, it's just "after the feast comes the reckoning" stuff in this particular case. I would not consider using erotic massage's service cheating. And the fact that your husband got erotic massage does not make him a disgusting pig or a horny monster. Of course, if this is something that is beyond your capability of tolerance, you can choose to walk away. I'd be more tolerant and understanding if I were you. Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 I just found out that my husband of 4 years has been going to massage parlours for erotic massage and happy endings. We have 2 kids, and ever since baby #2 (who is 9 months now), we hadn't been intimate at ALL, until a few weeks ago. It is possible that seeing the "massage girl" is what actually spiced up your sex life as a couple. I have heard stories from women that I have been a client of over the years talk about this phenomena. There are marriages being saved in this way all the time and no one knows it. The couple's sex life suddenly comes to life and becomes interesting again. It allows them space and perspective to heal the relationship. Behind the scenes is often a very attentive and compassionate sex worker who facilitated this. It is an interesting paradox. A guy in this scenario would not see it as cheating perhaps. Cheating would mean a deep emotional connection and sex with someone else that causes the primary relationship to fail. That would be real cheating for people who agree to be monogamous in the first place. I think it is heartbreaking that people end marriages and rip families apart just because their partner had sex with some one else. What value does sexual fidelity even have but to make people sexually jealous and possessive of each other? If you ask me its a modern problem to be solved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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