Help! I don't want to turn into a stalker!

[Tamara]

I am in a really difficult situation with a man I had a short fling with a while back who is always giving me mixed messages. I didn't think anything more would come out of the fling, but he kept giving me messages that he was interested.

 

I hardly ever see him because he travels alot with his job, but there has been a very strong attraction on both sides and we have talked on the phone.

 

He always says he'll call me, keeps asking for my number, but never calls. Recently I called him I said,"Look, if you don't want to have anything to do with me, just tell me and I won't call you. Please be honest with me because I don't want to be the one chasing after a man!"

 

To my surprize he told me he did want to see me and that we would have to find the right time to meet again. The conversation turned a bit into phone sex, then he promised to call me back and set up a time when I could travel to meet him, but he never called back.

 

Why can't he just admit that he doesn't want to see me instead of always saying he does? I think he must get saddist pleasure out of stringing me along just enough to "keep me". I don't want to become a stalker and am fighting this urge to run after him so hard! Help me!

 

Tamara

[elaine]

Dear tamara,

 

a hug goes out to you and every other women in the world who gets left hanging like this by some vicious male. My advice to you is ignore him, avoid him, i know what your thinking that it's easy for me to say that because i am not going through what you are but believe me i have. You have many options, if you want to get even with him without him thinking of it simply vamp it up,by getting your self a whole new makeover, buy a sexy outfit, strut your self at clubs or places you know of where his friends that know you will be. The key is to completely avoid him because his friends will tell him. next is to completely flirt with the hottest guy that you see make sure he is unattached becuase you don't want to get yourself in trouble. Next dance a little, strike up a conversation. The best is if a lot of hot guys hit on you then his friends will tell your guy of the hot chic which is you who is the center of attention and give him a hard time on what he lost. but if you truly want him back then follow these steps, if he does call you up make it seem that you are completely uninterested and have better things to do but when you do talk to him face to face, kill him with kindness make him fall in love with you and when he does leave him! this will make him realize what he has lost and he will do anything for you, this also applies to men who play their girls. Or you can just simply take it one day at a time, slowly forgetting him, never put your self anywhere that reminds you of him okay. and just remember don't torture your self over one guy

[elaine]

Dear tamara,

 

in reference to what i have said there is also another side to it. It was a test, a test for you to see that if you were really gonna go through with it, you are not alone on this however if you deal with it maturely, you will not only grow from this experience you will find someone who fits your needs. The thing you need to do is MOVE ON please! I have seen many of my friends go through what you are going through and believe me. it will always be hard to move on no matter what however, just take it one day at a time do things that will take your mind off of him do something positive now okay. soon you will come to realize that you don't want him because you will find that special someone who will cherish your attention, not take you for granted and leave you hanging on a string. You must tell yourself this, if he really cared for you and wanted to be with you then he obviously would make the effort to be with you and not leave you hanging. this guy is obvioiusly a dog and not worth you keep telling yourself this. he knows that he has you on a string when he sees how worried you are and self concious when you keep on asking him about the two of you when you leave him alone for good it will make you a stronger person and you don't deserve one bit of what this guy is dishing out never settle for less then the best that you can get.