Praetorian Posted September 13, 2005 Share Posted September 13, 2005 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t68803/ for the complete story. Well, my ex made contact with me saying she wanted to pick up her laptop. That's what she said to me. But to my aunt she said she wanted to be with me, see me and talk to me, not just pick up her laptop. Yesterday she insisted she wanted to pick up the laptop at my house even though we did arrange something to meet but not in my house or her house, but she said she was in a hurry and i agreed. She had an approach that was strange to me because i wasn't expecting the physical approach she manifested. She was always touching me and laughing and that kind of stuff and even if i had the same kind of approach towards her she didn't tried to escape as the last time. We are going to have the whole afternoon of tomorrow to meet. She is going to pick me up (that's strange as i'm the one who has a car, she only has her mother's car). But as a joke she said: " You miss the few times i was driving don't you?" and i had to agree with her. Anyway, apart of all that she said to me she isn't going out, she is working with her father in taking care of the interior design of a house he build and that she haven't had time to herself and to do her portfolio. She wasn't very estusiastic talking about that also... So, (especially girls) what to think right now? I've moved on with my life, i'm very different even physically (much more in shape ) and even i don't know exactly what i want...it's very confusing to me also... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Praetorian Posted September 14, 2005 Author Share Posted September 14, 2005 I really need your opinion on this... Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted September 14, 2005 Share Posted September 14, 2005 if YOU yourself are not sure what you want, i say proceed with extreme caution. clarify this, she's picked up her laptop and now you're meeting again for an afternoon together... if that is the case, just take the afternoon as it comes, go in with no preconceived expectatations, just maybe try spending time with her and find out how you feel. don't try and second guess how she's feeling. don't flog a dead horse, if its trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, it aint gonna work no matter how hard you try. sometimes you just gotta admit defeat and walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Praetorian Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 Well, we talked that day. She said to me that it's tempting to say "things are alright" because i'm turning into all she's "dreamed of". But things are way too fresh in her mind. The feelings are not the same. I looked at her and didn't felt the same way as before, i must have been with my eyes shut in this whole 4 years 1/2 relationship... She said to me things in her house were improving, the relationship with her father was also improving but then she receives a phone call from her mother telling that her father was pissed of with her about work, and if her father is pissed of, her mother is also pissed of... so things are the way they allways were... BAD LIAR!!!! All people that we know tell me the same things: "you have to pass a cold wet sponge in your face to wake up, look inside and outside of you", some close friend and neighboor of her even told "i thought she was different from all the rest of the family but apparently not". My aunt said she want to go out with her to talk and coffee 2 weeks ago for last saturday and when the day arrived she escaped and said that was this sunday, now today she escaped again and said she already had things arranged for today...ooh! she forgot!!! Now it's the next saturday... This type of behavior makes me angry, why is she escaping? from who? I'm tempted to send her a text message saying: forget you ever met me, because i don't want to believe i met a person so 2 faced. I'm relly pissed of today! Help me get this anger aside and think rationally... Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 Do yourself a favor and stop wasting your time. It is okay to get angry yet keep the anger to yourself. You are doing this to yourself as you continue to stay in contact with her. Don't say that she contacts you......as you are quite capable of not replying........focus on yourself and let it be. You guys were not meant to be. Why would you ever want to settle in life for someone who apparently does not want to give you the respect you deserve? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Praetorian Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 In all our conversations she never wanted to talk about her problems and i never felt ready to tell her "i'm going to step away for good". I think she needs to also feel that i'm not going to be there for her never again... and i feel that i'm ready to say her that. Should i? In all things that she talks about, i'm the guilty one... she isn't ever THE problem... Thanks for the advice upsetnhurt! Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 Why do you feel the need to tell her this? Will she not figure it out by your actions? Each time you threaten doing this you wind up talking to her. This does nothing but lessen the little respect that she has for you. Don't say it, do it and you will see how much easier life gets with time. Let her figure out her own issues and don't try to be her savior as that is not your role. Is she trying to save you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Praetorian Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 No, she isn't trying to save me, but i feel i have to be harsh with her so that she understands that patience as limits... and mine is over! She needs to know that I'm not the "always comprehensive guy"... maybe i'm wrong... I don't know what to think of... Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 So you think you will gain more from telling her you are not going to be there for her rather than just pulling away and doing it? What planet are you on (Kidding )? Don't kid yourself and do no contact for the right reasons......to help yourself move on.......sounds to me like you are still searching for ways to win her love back. Do you really want someone that you have to win over? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Praetorian Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 Tell her and walk away. I've accomplish things that 1 month ago i'd never think i'd accomplish. So walk away isn't a problem for me right now. It's the way she treats people from my family, like nothing had happened, that get on my nerves... I think it's the anger taking over me right now... Thank you very much for your support upsetnhurt! Both of us know you're right, but easier said than done... Oh! By the way...planet "Emotion" Earth is where i live in... Link to post Share on other sites
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