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Bitter Moon -- a movie tells a dark side of abusive relationship leads


maybejune

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After I joined this forum, I posted my story and ever since I have received tons of kind comments, including "you have dodged a bullet" which I didn't fully understand at the time -- I was waiting for the miracle to happen. Almost a year now, when I am watching the 1992 movie Bitter Moon, I finally understand what favor I had done to myself by ending that relationship. It's an old movie, but I didn't know it until today, I guess many of you may have watched it.

 

The story in this movie does not apply to many relationships and BU, but I found mine was very much related: it starts strong, one party gets bored when the initial excitement starts to fade, while the other party becomes deeply in love and even jealous when s/he doesn't get enough from the partner. The bored one starts to show his/her hatred against the other, demeans them, and destroys their self-esteem and confidence... My story ended there, so there wasn't much of begging to stay, no drama for revenge, no hard time to know how heartless the ex is, etc.

 

Don't beg for love (not necessary in knee down form), don't beg for their return, don't give up your life to try to have a life with them, don't be the one who always compromises and makes it easy while the other takes it as granted. Don't stale yourself because you think it's unfair: it's not fair, but it's over, fortunately.

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Hi!

 

I resonate with this. I still communicate with the guy who brought me here. I was so in love with him that I did not see the millions of red flags. Now, I look at him and I am so grateful things ended the way they did.

 

Yes, you should never be so focused on someone else, that you completely sacrifice yourself.

 

Have a beautiful day my friend.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Hi, my memory has been a bit fuzzy, so I looked up your recent post. Hope all is good with you. I may not be the most qualified person to give your suggestion, but I truly hope you don't invest much with the second chance -- it's hard since you say you loved him. Be careful with any discomfort you may experience this round while being friend, ask question if you don't understand his behavior or not agree, just don't compromise easily.

 

Last but not least, talk to your friends or us if you have doubt about him. I wish I had support system or found this kind of online forum to ask questions.

 

Have a beautiful week.

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Me? not really. I'm still a fool some days :( and I have a ton to improve myself.

Edited by maybejune
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Hi my friend,

 

Thank you. I am currently not dating anyone. I didn’t really give the second chance guy a second chance, lol.

 

I am really joyful and happy right now. I hope you are doing ok?

 

Sending love and energy.

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