Alex36 Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 When you are a paying member if you contact a none paying member they cannot message you back. I realise this is a £££ decision made by the sites but it still bugs me. It makes your chances of getting a reply next to zero they offer "upgrade" packages so none paying members can reply but come on! The site I joined yesterday cost me 43 pounds for basic! membership the upgrade would bump the cost up to 53 pounds. I swear there is a market for an honest dating site that could do without "upgrades" still make a profit and in the end overtake the scam sites. Thoughts? One more thing it amazes me in this day and age of shaming business practice no one has ever gone after online dating and try and clean it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 On most of the paid dating sites you don't know if the person you're messaging is a paid member and can reply, so here you are sending out tons of messages and getting a low response rate. It can be due to other reasons as well, of course. It could be they simply aren't interested. But it really doesn't matter why. What matters is how you deal with the problem. A low response rate might be because you aren't all that good looking, and/or you're posting bad pictures. Think about getting a pro to take better pics, yeah it's a few bucks but finding a long term relationship partner is probably worth it. Then there's your profile, is it well written, and put together in a way that will interest potential matches? Again there's assistance available in this area also. Finally, try your luck on a few different sites, paid vs free, there's plenty of both. Do what gives you the better results even if you don't know what's happening behind the scenes. Also remember that online dating isn't the only way to meet people. If you're failing left and right consider getting out more, meeting people through singles events, and consider enlisting the aide of a dating coach or professional matchmaker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alex36 Posted November 28, 2018 Author Share Posted November 28, 2018 With the greatest of respect there is no such thing as a free dating site 100% of the sites you have to pay to message someone. Only exception is none traditional sites like bumble but you cannot message anyone unless they match you... which never happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 Actually there are OKCupid, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, and The League. Any luck with those? I would also suggest you sharing your profile text with us and some description of your pictures for advice. I would not put your current Loveshack profile photo on your Dating profile - because most people are fairly superficial on these dating profiles, and need to see something with a little more "swagger". No offense to you particularly, just speaking from experience. Those paid dating sites will not change anytime soon mate, it's just a matter of paying the CEOs and employees. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 With the greatest of respect there is no such thing as a free dating site 100% of the sites you have to pay to message someone. Wrong. As stated by the poster above, there are plenty of free dating sites, among the largest are POF and OK cupid, and in my experience I've equal success on paid vs free. These 2 sites in particular do not limit who you are matched up with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alex36 Posted November 28, 2018 Author Share Posted November 28, 2018 Wrong. As stated by the poster above, there are plenty of free dating sites, among the largest are POF and OK cupid, and in my experience I've equal success on paid vs free. These 2 sites in particular do not limit who you are matched up with. Wrong. I joined POF and OK cupid during the summer both sites require £££ to message anyone. As for Hinge and the League I have not tried them yet so I cannot comment. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 Wrong. I joined POF and OK cupid during the summer both sites require £££ to message anyone. As for Hinge and the League I have not tried them yet so I cannot comment. POF and OKC are free in the US. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 Wrong. I joined POF and OK cupid during the summer both sites require £££ to message anyone. Maybe those sites aren't free outside the US. In which case you can use a VPN to access these sites and choose a server that is located within the US and pay either nothing or the monthly cost of a paid VPN which is as low as $5 per month. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 l only ended up on one for a short while , a free one. lt was pretty good actually. But l did try a couple of paid ones first and they were ridiculous. You thought you were all done once you paid your 3mths , 6 , ha , think again about that one bucko. That was only the beginning of the money grab. One you later have to buy stamps or some shyt , just to message someone , the other one you later had to buy coins. And guess what , they expired , so if ya didn't use them you had to buy more. This is after paying to join in the first place. And then from memory they both also had even more hidden stuff to bleed your wallet . Like you could only message other paid members, and some of the coins or stamps only did so much , you had to upgrade them as well to actually get anywhere and pay even more. Bloody rip offs the free one l joined once l woke up was much better. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 I swear there is a market for an honest dating site that could do without "upgrades" still make a profit Unfortunately, no there isn't. The sites make money from precisely what you mention: people paying for subscriptions so that they can read their 53 waiting messages, or so they can reply to them. The biggest motivation to pay £££ is not any claims made by the site or advertising junk, but actual real people waiting to date them. Therefore they depend on the current paid members messaging the "free trial" members in order to get new subscriptions, and therefore to make money. In fact it is very much in their interests if you message people who can't message you back, as often as possible! I wouldn't be surprised if they skew their search results in favour of unpaid members. This is one reason I always say the free sites are better. Some people claim that on a free site 90% of your messages will go to fakes and jokers and attention seekers whereas the people on the paid sites are more likely to be serious - an argument which may have merit - but in my opinion it is out-weighed by the phenomenon you mention here. 90% of your messages going to "free trial" members is no improvement on 90% of your messages going to fakes, and you're paying for the privilege. Wrong. I joined POF and OK cupid during the summer both sites require £££ to message anyone. Wrong. Some people choose to set a filter "only accepts messages from upgraded users" which you may have run into causing you to think you need to be upgraded to send any messages. But most people accept messages from both free and upgraded users. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Just practical stuff about success or lack thereof: I'm on and have been on two 'free' sites: POF an OKC. I've met 5 women there. However I've met 10 women on match.com which is a paid site and two more on ourtime which is also a paid site. I also have two more women on match who are messaging like they want to meet me. Regardless of the fact that they and I have to pay on match, there are more women there, the women on POF and OKC seem to me to also be on match, and, as I have observed, I've had much more actual meets from match. YMMV Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 The people on the sites who aren't paying are likely to be just window shopping. Serious contenders will pay. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Constructive criticism: If the photos you are posting OLD are like the one you have here that is part of your OLD problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 And FWIW I “met” my husband via Match Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Just private message one of us mate, with your dating website pictures and essay. We can probably critique it and give you some useful feedback. The core issue is desirable women are getting hundreds of messages a day, and they get scatterbrained trying to go through so many choices. It would be a glorious dream if any normal man had that many messages, but just imagine like you are in a bakery store with a massive wall full of your favourite kinds of cake. It's kind of like that. Women will seek out the smallest reason to online reject you out of necessity. So - we can teach you how to write better, flirt better, and send better pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
diddilybop Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 yeah, i'm also thinking you might need an OLD profile makeover - it really makes a difference. i've actually helped a few of my guy friends with their Tinder/OKC profiles and they noticed a HUGE difference after some editing. what you project online can really affect how others see you. think about it, you have to make this pretty big initial impression with such a small amount of space & time. i also met my partner through tinder, a free app. Link to post Share on other sites
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