enchanted771 Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 This is a new relationship I’m talking less than 3 weeks. We usually text/talk everyday, and see each other once a week and once on the weekend. Has been going great. Well I found out that he has plans this Saturday and I know I’m acting needy but it kind of concerned me. So early on I’m the relationship, but I’m guessing he just wants to get out with his friends-fine. He has also been dealing with something in his house so he’s been under a lot of stress, but usually if I don’t hear from him, I will reach out which he has been accustomed to. So I’m thinking...that I should let him initiate contacting me. I’m not really sure if our communication frequency is adequate but maybe it’s just me. It’s ususlly talking on the phone once a day and a couple texts...I don’t want to smother him with expecting so much early on. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 Daily texting sounds smothering to me. When dating my idea always was that I assumed I did NOT have plans with the other person unless specific plans were made. At some point farther into the relationship for me somewhere around the 6 month mark I would transition to I assumed I had plans with the other person unless something was said otherwise. Healthy communication is whatever the 2 people in the relationship mutually agree on. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 If I was really into the guy I liked to have some fun convos with him all the time. Most guys I dated did do this. If they were having issues about something they would take a break and talk to me as a relief, or a distraction to put a smile on their face. If this is what kind of guy you want to be with, then you need to be looking somewhere else. It's not a bad thing to have certain expectations...it's only bad if you stick with someone who doesn't fulfill them. I guess some call it "Love language". If your "love language" doesn't sink up, it's going to be challenging. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 So I’m thinking...that I should let him initiate contacting me. Yes, and save your sincere and heartfelt interest for pressing that flesh while on in-person dates. Then, at the conclusion of one of those dates, in-person, ask him out. If he says cool, love to, then follow up with a phone call in-between. IMO, even back before all this texting stuff, pacing was very important with dating. Two strangers, both of whom have work, friends, family, interests, etc, are getting together to socialize. Time and interest, if its there, carves out more space to be together and communicate with each other. Away time lets each partner be, or not, on each other's mind. It clarifies. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Healthy communication is whatever the 2 people in the relationship mutually agree on. I agree with this. For some, constant texting banter works well. Others only need one or two messages during the week. Ultimately, go at your own pace - things will clarify over time. Although you did say in your other thread that you sent many texts in a row without reply - I'd suggest avoiding that. People have lives which involve doing tasks that might mean they don't have time to text for a few hours. Don't stress, be patient. But if it gets to the end of the day without response, I'd try again then. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah_Smiles Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Try to gauge if he replies back more during certain times and just keep to that and you don't always have to do a long texting chain every day, a few texts and a nice end of the day phone call would be enough until you meet up in person on your weekends. Link to post Share on other sites
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