Garcon1986 Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 Hi, I'm asking for help brainstorming more creative openers on my first date. My last two dates were awkward, so I'm asking - - what sort of openers have you ladies heard that made you think, ooo, that's creative, this guy might have what I like? - what flashes of inspiration have you lads had, that was well received on the first date conversation topics? What' I've come to realize about my personality is that: - I think those women who get up on stage and talk astrophysics, or that Israeli journalist who can quickly switch between English, Hebrew, and Italian in one story, are the sexiest women I ever seen. Gets me going like a teenager on porn. These women also have thousands of guy options, and I'm not the most attractive personality at first sight. - as a result I'm working on my presentation/ panache. - I have a certain dry British sense of humor, that usually is an acquired taste. I'm trying to pick up American humor but cannot yet make it natural. - I've developed the discipline to avoid advertising myself (i.e. dominating the conversation) unless I sense she is really that interested and asking lots of questions. - I've heard feedback that my first dates in years past have sounded like interrogations; I've learned to make things more fluid and have achieved two long term relationships in the past year. So - what is the next thing I'm missing that is the ingredient to a really interesting conversation on the woman's terms? I've asked what do you think is so fun you could do it until tomorrow? But apparently a more indirect approach is needed Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 I don't need creative. I need sincere. Just be you. If you like smart women, be a smart guy. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 You appreciate smart women, so start asking them questions about what they're interested in, what sorts of things they end up searching Google for, mention a current news topic. Like this week, it would be the Mars landing. (avoid politics for the time being!) Since you like smart, you will quickly find out if they are smart and informed or only interested in Instagram or whatever and shopping. You probably need someone with a good education, although not all smart informed people did have a big education, but it's a place to start. You can't go wrong talking to them about interests. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 Why don't you just be yourself. ? How else can you "genuinely" even get along ? Well , if your hoping to find a relationship anyway but eh , if your just lookin to hook up then by all means get as fancy as you want or whatever works. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 Be a good listener, and not try too hard (to show off your accomplishments). Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah_Smiles Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 I always like a genuine compliment, that is a nice starter - nothing too flattering that sounds like BS but something that whoever finds nice about me at the moment and expresses it. A cute little story of the day I always find interesting too, lets me warm up to them, even a funny little joke helps if the other person you are telling it to has a sense of humor. Doing a nice cheers/toast before the meal is nice too. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 My recommendations: dress well, really well. Be calm, and think (or look like you think) before speaking. Be worldly, have command of your surroundings. The smart women you described work with men and won't take a back seat to a man. They are used to being respected. So before you interrogate her, ask yourself if you're being out of line. Link to post Share on other sites
diddilybop Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 (edited) i agree with other posters. be yourself, share a funny story, ask her questions and be a good listener. nothing's worse than a guy who only talks about himself and leaves no space for his date. plus, a genuine compliment is always nice! as for your british sense of humor, may i ask where you're currently located in the US? because i'm from the east coast and have a sarcastic, dry, dead-pan sense of humor but when i moved to california 10 years ago, it took some time for other people to understand and appreciate it. i also had to adjust to west coast humor. it's ok to showcase that side of you, but for the beginning stages of dating, maybe just sprinkle it here and there. Edited December 4, 2018 by diddilybop Link to post Share on other sites
Author Garcon1986 Posted December 4, 2018 Author Share Posted December 4, 2018 Well I am an empty cup ready to receive the knowledge you might have diddlybop. Teach me west coast humor? Link to post Share on other sites
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