Catholic Annulment Process

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Anyone here get an annulment through their parish/diocese? My ex-w is beginning the process. She wants certain information from me including why our marriage was never meant to be. She has suffered a lot of pain thru divorce and obviously I need to describe why our marriage failed.

 

 

What has been your experience? Do I need to re-open wounds or can I provide the details directly to the parish/diocese rather than them be funneled thru my ex W?

[carhill]

One recent thread:

 

Catholic Annulment

[Mr. Lucky]

Wookin Pa Nub, weren't you married for some time and had kids together? I didn't know annulment was an option under those circumstances...

 

Mr. Lucky

[carhill]

My dad was married and had two daughters, I think 3 and 5yo, when he went off to WW2 and his wife left him for another guy a year or so later while he was still there. Vatican let him use the spousal intent to commit adultery cannon in his case. He was with Mark Clark in the 5th so was in Italy when Rome was liberated and close to the Vatican, don't know how that went.

 

In the other thread, apparently people who've been going through it more recently say it's more streamlined and easier.

[PegNosePete]

Do I need to re-open wounds or can I provide the details directly to the parish/diocese rather than them be funneled thru my ex W?

Firstly, what is your involvement in getting the annulment? Do you also want one, or are you just going along with it for her benefit, or do you not really care?

 

- If you also want an annulment then I would say you'd be wise to consult a lawyer who has experience with this and also a priest. There is a lot that can go wrong if you attempt to DIY it and a mistake here could not only be costly but could jeopardise the whole process and make it impossible to resolve. So if you really want an annulment, speak to the professionals and explain your own personal situation and reasons for wanting an annulment (which is obviously different to everyone else's) and get it done right first time.

 

- If you're just going along with it as a favour to your ex wife then just give her the information she is asking for.

 

- If you don't give 2 hoots then put her letters in the recycle bin.

[S2B]

Send in honest info.

 

Include that you never lived your wife and started seeing an old gf before the marriage ended.

 

That info will help your wife get what she wants (annulment).

 

It also provides the accurate info.

[Ronni_W]

<snip> I need to describe why our marriage failed.

Since your ex-wife feels that she wants to go this route, and you seem to want to cooperate (no reason not to), you can simply provide your response in a way that facilitates the prescribed process.

 

For example, you might say that, with hindsight, you now realize that perhaps you were not yet at a stage in life where you had resolved all of your own non-constructive and negative habits and

programming of communicating, conflict resolution and mutual compromise; and that you had not done enough self-introspection. This should be specific enough for whomever is going to determine

the outcome, but is general enough so that you are not adding any stress or trauma to yourself or your ex.

 

Wishing you the best.

[d0nnivain]

The best place for you to start is talking to a local priest. Even if you are no longer a devout Catholic, a priest is still your best source of info.

 

The process has changed. Under Pope Francis, the process is a bit more liberal. He hopes to get more people into the flock or for fewer to leave.

 

It's sweet of you not to want to pour salt in your EX's post divorce wounds.

[standtall]

I was the best man in a Catholic wedding 20 yrs ago. When my buddy and his wife decide to split up,with 2 kids BTW, I had to fill out a notarized statement that was like 10 pages long asking all kinds of personal questions about the couple. For example,when did you notice the marriage being over, did anyone cheat on anyone, where they addicted to anything, did either have any strange sexual issues..etc. That was for an annulment, which was granted. Keep in mind they were married 17 yrs, 2 kids.....the Catholic church has changed.

[Mr. Lucky]

Keep in mind they were married 17 yrs, 2 kids.....the Catholic church has changed.

 

Wow. Wish all life was like this, we could go back and rewrite history. My wasted youth could really use some cleaning up...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Wookin Pa Nub, weren't you married for some time and had kids together? I didn't know annulment was an option under those circumstances...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

 

Under Canon law there are certain circumstances (I think there are like 12-15 reasons) that were present at the time of marriage that permits the annulment of the marriage.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Firstly, what is your involvement in getting the annulment? Do you also want one, or are you just going along with it for her benefit, or do you not really care?

 

 

 

My ex-W is starting the process and I want one as well and will be supportive of the process. We have both talked to priest to assist.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

I was the best man in a Catholic wedding 20 yrs ago. When my buddy and his wife decide to split up,with 2 kids BTW, I had to fill out a notarized statement that was like 10 pages long asking all kinds of personal questions about the couple. For example,when did you notice the marriage being over, did anyone cheat on anyone, where they addicted to anything, did either have any strange sexual issues..etc. That was for an annulment, which was granted. Keep in mind they were married 17 yrs, 2 kids.....the Catholic church has changed.

 

 

 

My ex-W said the tribunal will need to interview family and friends about our relationship at the time of marriage. I kept all my issues to myself and told NO ONE. I put on a happy face and seemed like a perfect couple. It seems this might hurt our chances.

[Ronni_W]

My ex-W said the tribunal will need to interview family and friends about our relationship at the time of marriage. <snip> It seems this might hurt our chances.

Just tell your family and friends what they'll need to say to support your wife's application.

No need to over-think or over-complicate matters.

[minimariah2]

....the Catholic church has changed.

 

it sure did - but not THAT much.

 

annulment is granted if one of the partners lied about something important BEFORE marriage - such as wanting to have children, being able to have children, illness and so on. annullmen is not granted if there was addiction, adultery that began DURING the marriage.

 

i've also had friends who wanted to annul their marriage after 10 years and a child and, obviously, it was not granted - when children are involved, the marriage can almost never be annulled. HOWEVER - they were granted a divorce under Church; it does not permit them to remarry again but it does permit them to access the Church again, not living in the sin, being able to be someone else's best man, godfather and so on.

 

it might be simply about having the right connections and power, money - nobody in my environment managed to annul their marriage and they were all "common" people.

 

sounds pretty ridiculous to ANNUL a marriage of 17 years and 2 kids. i really cannot imagine how was that possible, unless one of the partners lied about a serious illness.

[standtall]

it sure did - but not THAT much.

 

annulment is granted if one of the partners lied about something important BEFORE marriage - such as wanting to have children, being able to have children, illness and so on. annullmen is not granted if there was addiction, adultery that began DURING the marriage.

 

i've also had friends who wanted to annul their marriage after 10 years and a child and, obviously, it was not granted - when children are involved, the marriage can almost never be annulled. HOWEVER - they were granted a divorce under Church; it does not permit them to remarry again but it does permit them to access the Church again, not living in the sin, being able to be someone else's best man, godfather and so on.

 

it might be simply about having the right connections and power, money - nobody in my environment managed to annul their marriage and they were all "common" people.

 

sounds pretty ridiculous to ANNUL a marriage of 17 years and 2 kids. i really cannot imagine how was that possible, unless one of the partners lied about a serious illness.

 

Don't know what to tell you. He lives across the street from me....he has an annulment.

He filed for divorce in the state about 5 yrs ago. 3 yrs ago, myself (along with everyone else in the bridal party), had to write a friggin, 10 page, notarized essay about what I observed and talked to him about his marriage...eg did they have sex, did you know if they were cheating, did they hold hands, did they have pre marital sex, who was dominant, who paid the bills....etc. Then poof...annulment. He re married...in a Catholic church. Personally I think they're data collecting for their premarital classes.

 

I'm a Lutheran, but was raised Catholic, and I have seen a lot of change from the outside. Heck,I went to a Maryology sect Catholic mass. It was weird. Heck, the masses are now half length...not it Latin....in my opinion, the church has changed a lot.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

I'm a Lutheran, but was raised Catholic, and I have seen a lot of change from the outside. Heck,I went to a Maryology sect Catholic mass. It was weird. Heck, the masses are now half length...not it Latin....in my opinion, the church has changed a lot.

 

 

 

Never heard of a "Maryology sect Catholic mass". Masses have not been in Latin since the early 1960s I believe. There were slight changes about 10 years ago but the masses I have attended have been the same structure/length since I was a kid 40+ years ago.

[standtall]

Never heard of a "Maryology sect Catholic mass". Masses have not been in Latin since the early 1960s I believe. There were slight changes about 10 years ago but the masses I have attended have been the same structure/length since I was a kid 40+ years ago.

 

Ain't the world great! Your experience is different than mine. Never heard of the Maryiology? Mary is the co-redeemer with Jesus? Ringing a bell? Come on, your on line, look it up. Humanity is such a rich tapestry of experiences and opinions.....