A lesson

[ZA Dater]

If it's waffling in your loneliness you want, you should just get up and say it. You want experience in intimacy and reading women, but you refuse to put up the time investment to do it. You've done right in trying dating, but what you've done before has failed.

 

Remember, in the eternal battle between planes and the Earth, the Earth has always won. I challenge you to stand up like a man and tell us, you want to go to old age, never having known the intimacy of a woman, and being OK with it.

 

I will start copying and pasting here, and saying Capetown is not providing the dates you want, yet you refuse to look elsewhere.

 

 

You've done the right thing in trying to put yourself out there, but the crucial points here are:

 

1. The world refuses to change for you. That's a fact of life for everybody.

2. Experience is out there, yet you refuse to change your dating tactics. Having moral standards is OK, but not even trying to read women's social cues is not.

 

3. You win the prize for the most hard-headed man on this forum. You are in the social equivalent of a plane's stall and uncontrolled tail spin, but you refuse to fix the situation.

 

 

When are you going to realize you can't win the fight between you and the entire Earth? You can however, do what Normm said and try an escort or a sex club just to know what physical intimacy is like.

 

 

 

What you don't get is if I don't find them interesting I don't want to do anything with them at ALL. A huge part of what makes a person attractive to me is their personality so in essence a great personality and pretty to me is fine but I never find that BUT, keep reading.

 

 

I did go on a date yesterday, quite an unexpected one actually. She is 32, single, no kids, no ex husband and amazingly seems quite normal, there are some shared interested, shared ideas and this time I decided to approach this date differently and actually just cut loose, talk about anything and everything, relaxed my body language, laughed, made her laugh and we got on really well. Ok I wasn't exactly wowed but she is a much more classy, higher standard of person than those I normally go on dates with.

 

 

In line with what Norm is always going about I decided to drop some subtle hints which she did pick up and her body language reflected that. It was good and I got a kiss on the cheek and apparently a second date on Wednesday.

 

 

However, no communication today at all. No communicating last night when I asked if she had got home ok. Not very good signs those but actually if its a ghost I am ok with it because I could use a different tactic, I needed to really shrug off the normal way I would do things but I had to actually try this time and for the most part it seemed to work ok, it helped she is smart, well versed on subjects, laughed at my silly anecdotes and she wasn't the usual sort of person. Furthermore I didn't feel the need to try conform to be someone else I could simply be me and she seemed to find me interesting.

 

 

I dropped the ball in a few places but that's not surprising. She insisted on paying her part I insisted I was paying.

 

 

Not sure if there is going to be a date 2 but lets see. She isn't the best looking but is pretty enough and vastly better than most of the dates I end up going on.

[Garcon1986]

Good for you on getting your next date. I can drink to that. It's perfectly fine to need to be impressed by a woman's mind.

[brigit87]

What you don't get is if I don't find them interesting I don't want to do anything with them at ALL. A huge part of what makes a person attractive to me is their personality so in essence a great personality and pretty to me is fine but I never find that BUT, keep reading.

 

 

I did go on a date yesterday, quite an unexpected one actually. She is 32, single, no kids, no ex husband and amazingly seems quite normal, there are some shared interested, shared ideas and this time I decided to approach this date differently and actually just cut loose, talk about anything and everything, relaxed my body language, laughed, made her laugh and we got on really well. Ok I wasn't exactly wowed but she is a much more classy, higher standard of person than those I normally go on dates with.

 

 

In line with what Norm is always going about I decided to drop some subtle hints which she did pick up and her body language reflected that. It was good and I got a kiss on the cheek and apparently a second date on Wednesday.

 

 

However, no communication today at all. No communicating last night when I asked if she had got home ok. Not very good signs those but actually if its a ghost I am ok with it because I could use a different tactic, I needed to really shrug off the normal way I would do things but I had to actually try this time and for the most part it seemed to work ok, it helped she is smart, well versed on subjects, laughed at my silly anecdotes and she wasn't the usual sort of person. Furthermore I didn't feel the need to try conform to be someone else I could simply be me and she seemed to find me interesting.

 

 

I dropped the ball in a few places but that's not surprising. She insisted on paying her part I insisted I was paying.

 

 

Not sure if there is going to be a date 2 but lets see. She isn't the best looking but is pretty enough and vastly better than most of the dates I end up going on.

 

Even if you don't get a 2nd date with this girl you did have a good experience.

[ZA Dater]

Different person, same issue: no chemistry, whatever that is supposed to mean.

[elaine567]

Different person, same issue: no chemistry, whatever that is supposed to mean.

Basically she is not sexually attracted to you. No spark, going nowhere romantically...

[ZA Dater]

Basically she is not sexually attracted to you. No spark, going nowhere romantically...

 

 

 

They never are.