My experience with love & relationships: 2016-Present

[DarrenB]

Hello all,

 

It's been a while but I hope you're all having a grand day

 

Some may know me as the inexperienced boy who came to a forum to express his sadness in a breakup. *If you would like to take a look at a whiny, desperate broken boy from 2016, please refer to my posts from when I first registered

 

It's been a long 2 and a half years and I'm sure like almost all of us, it's been eventful and a lot should be known to transpire in that amount of time.

 

 

I have been in multiple relationships since 2016, some more longer than others, some more intimate and sensitive. I wouldn't say I have found love or 'the one' again as of yet, I think for the meantime I am 'browsing around' so to speak but not actively. If I come across a person then I do, if not I don't mind.

 

My most recent coming together with someone was actually a Friends with Benefits that unfortunately had ended around 2 weeks ago. I saw traits from my previous self of jealousy and insecurity in a non-committed FWB with a girl from my workplace. It hurt when she ended it but when you enter a FWB with someone you can never expect them to feel the same way, especially if you develop deeper feelings than just sex. Acknowledgement and acceptance of this was key for me in moving past this. At this point in time, we are basic friends and I am happy to be that.

 

One thing I have noticed is that the more you include yourself with people, especially those of who you take attraction to... you will definitely see more characteristics from yourself that you wouldn't have necessarily known you even had.

 

What has essentially helped me focus my own mindset is knowing that having another person involved in my life should not be a priority - unless this is literally what you crave and need. There are so many different things that can give us the same amount of pleasure, happiness, security, comfort and all the other feelings but yet we always seem to just find and expect it in an actual person, rather than anything else especially with experiences.

 

I've learnt that when you are experience a break up, with a platonic friend, a partner or a friend it is always best to be honest and to not expect them to ever reconcile. When you give yourself that little bit of faith and hope that they may return, you will act on this until you are brutally informed that that may never actually happen. It is fundamentally better to accept the truth than rather for it to be given to you in the most harsh or abrupt way possible.

 

Alongside my rickety potential of a longterm lovelife, I have been heavily oriented in my work and have had my fair share of jobs and promotions in the past 2+ years. Currently promoted to an Academy Standards coach for our training groups and a Resource Planning analyst which I am more than content with and have been for some time. I was also ordained as a youth Pastor in August

 

I just wanted to share my current take on life and relationships, and just let people know that no matter what you're going through; the pain that you have been feeling will not and cannot compare to the JOY that is coming. - Romans 8:18

[Nilfiry]

Better to experience and learn than to just experience.