Lotus_Luna Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 When touching another member of the opposite sex, I’ve always considered upper back, eldbow and shoulder to be non sexual neutral zones. is the upper thigh considered anything other then a possessive/sexual location?!? Maybe I’m just old school, but it doesn’t feel like it’s a place you touch on a woman unless you’re romantically/sexually interested in her. I also saw co workers do the European kids on the lips good bye today... I can’t even fathom when I’d be comfortable doing that with a work buddy.. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Neutral touch zones can also vary with the style of touch as well, and it's often dependent on culture. Sure, upper back and shoulders might be non sexual when you give someone a hug, but if you're giving someone a massage it's a bit different. A kiss on the cheek is a standard greeting in some cultures, in most a handshake or high five is also standard and very different from holding someone's hand romantically. But in some very conservative cultures any form of touch indicates interest and is therefore considered taboo. Everyone has different things that they consider comfortable, and it's worth being aware and being able to adjust greetings according to context. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted November 30, 2018 Author Share Posted November 30, 2018 Neutral touch zones can also vary with the style of touch as well, and it's often dependent on culture. Sure, upper back and shoulders might be non sexual when you give someone a hug, but if you're giving someone a massage it's a bit different. A kiss on the cheek is a standard greeting in some cultures, in most a handshake or high five is also standard and very different from holding someone's hand romantically. But in some very conservative cultures any form of touch indicates interest and is therefore considered taboo. Everyone has different things that they consider comfortable, and it's worth being aware and being able to adjust greetings according to context. There isn’t a variety of cultures though. All the same amongst us. I have found many cultures are far more touchy then I am. I’m flexible with that. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Upper thigh can't be anything except sexual, no matter who's doing it. You're right about the neutral zones. I guess if that's the coworkers' custom, it's their custom, but you can always say no to it. How you do it depends on your familiarity. If it's casual at all, I'd just tell them "Get off me. Where I come from, we shake hands." If it's formal and you're in a country where that is the norm, you might have to get used to it. But if they're just doing it where it's not customary, just step back a step and extend your arm where they either take it or get hit in the chest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lotus_Luna Posted November 30, 2018 Author Share Posted November 30, 2018 Upper thigh can't be anything except sexual, no matter who's doing it. You're right about the neutral zones. I guess if that's the coworkers' custom, it's their custom, but you can always say no to it. How you do it depends on your familiarity. If it's casual at all, I'd just tell them "Get off me. Where I come from, we shake hands." If it's formal and you're in a country where that is the norm, you might have to get used to it. But if they're just doing it where it's not customary, just step back a step and extend your arm where they either take it or get hit in the chest. In my head we shake hands on the professional world. I don’t hug and I don’t kiss. These two obviously care for another and have been friends for years. I used my business hand shake, because it’s BUSINESS! The thigh thing got me... it was mid thigh.... but my arm and shoulder were there... the thigh was a highly personal and in my opinion sexual gesture. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Yeah, I was a bit confused whether this was personal cross-gender or business. Rules seem really complex and I'm too old for that stuff so I just go how I feel from decades of reading people. Some are more touchy feely than others and it can also depend on the situation. When in doubt I respect personal space. However I am Russian so hug and kiss men too as is customary, more so when I was in-country than here in the US. It all depends. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 I also saw co workers do the European kids on the lips good bye today... I can’t even fathom when I’d be comfortable doing that with a work buddy.. Before I answer - how many kids ? j/k I've never broken it down into "Neutral Touch Zones", but I have instinctively adjusted over the years to a very non-threatening approach... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 Depends on the social setting. I never touch co-workers of the opposite sex and let it be known It is unacceptable if they touch me. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 Bit of a silly question, hardly rocket science it's all pretty obvious isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
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