lioil Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 I am seeing one girl right now and she is local. Also there is another girl who i was introduced to (about same time i first met the local girl). This second girl is in another country though but she is willing to relocate and planning to come visit in January. The first girl wants to establish a relationship quickly (even offered to go to my place to cook). The second girl, if she does end up relocating will need to go through school and find a job. She is cuter though and introduced through trustworthy friend. Any tips? I dont think i can see the second girl in January while still seeing first girl - the first girl even mentioned seeing my parents for xmas... In terms of comparisons: First girl - aggressive about establishing relationship - to the point, finish grad school next year. Second girl - will need to go to school in US for work, cuter, younger, less aggressive. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Keep it casual with both for a while but don't put much stock in the LDR girl's promises. They are probably pie in the sky. IMO any relationship that requires immigration is a waste of time, pipe dream that will never become reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Option 3: Ditch girl 1 because you just aren’t that into her and are playing along because you don’t want to be alone. Keep it casual with 2 but don’t get too invested Keep dating and find someone you truly care about. When you truly care about someone, these things aren’t a question. Link to post Share on other sites
diddilybop Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 yeah, it seems like you're not into the first girl anyway, so, be respectful to her and let her go instead of stringing her along. as for girl #2, be light about it, you two haven't even met you and you don't even know if you two get along yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 If you're asking this question, it means you don't have strong feelings for either one of these people. You're not officially dating anyone ... so you can hang with both people up to the point you become exclusive with one person. But again, your tone sounds like you might as well flip a coin. BTW: someone coming to your house to cook does NOT mean you're in a relationship with them. Just means they came to your place to cook! Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Neither of them are good prospects for the long-term. The first one is too needy and the other is geographically undesirable. What a lot of people don’t think about with someone from other countries - aside from the Green Card hassles - is the extreme cultural differences. They can be amazingly difficult to navigate. P.S. Don’t agree to meet girl #1’s parents - it sends the wrong message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lioil Posted December 4, 2018 Author Share Posted December 4, 2018 Neither of them are good prospects for the long-term. The first one is too needy and the other is geographically undesirable. What a lot of people don’t think about with someone from other countries - aside from the Green Card hassles - is the extreme cultural differences. They can be amazingly difficult to navigate. P.S. Don’t agree to meet girl #1’s parents - it sends the wrong message. No i mean #1 might want to meet my parents quickly.. Second girl is committed because we are introduced through friends and the goal is to get married, so no playing games. I do feel pressured by first girl since the couple of times we met she asks me if i have any questions/concern about her - this is first time i have been asked about it so early from a girl. I would pick 2nd girl if it werent for her being LD and need to go to school here if she comes. I think from my discussion with others who made LDR work, they usually meet a couple of times (with video/calls in between) before tying the knot. Also, the 2nd girl is coming at a time for holiday too so my friend suggested that i could introduce her to my parents if things go well when we meet. Since we will be hanging out for ~1-2 weeks while shes here... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lioil Posted December 4, 2018 Author Share Posted December 4, 2018 yeah, it seems like you're not into the first girl anyway, so, be respectful to her and let her go instead of stringing her along. as for girl #2, be light about it, you two haven't even met you and you don't even know if you two get along yet. i do like some characteristics of the first girl and in ideal world i want to meet 2nd girl and then decide. But first girl is pretty much asking me if i have decided on her the couple of times we met. We are meeting this weekend for movies.. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 You do realise you're contradicting your own argument about these girls? Girl 1 is too pushy for wanting to meet your parents despite the fact you've been meeting her in person for a number of weeks. Girl 2 you want to meet maybe a couple of times before introducing her to your parents. IMO your using girl 1 to fill your time until girl 2 arrives and it's not fair on her as she's obviously more invested in you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 You've mentioned a couple times that girl #2 is "cuter," so I think a lot of your desire for girl #2 is based on looks or you wouldn't keep mentioning it. I can pretty much guarantee you that if girl #1 were the cutest one of the two, you probably wouldn't even be considering the long distance girl because she comes with a LOT more issues. Stop letting girl #2's looks influence you as much as they are. That usually never works in your favor, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lioil Posted December 6, 2018 Author Share Posted December 6, 2018 You've mentioned a couple times that girl #2 is "cuter," so I think a lot of your desire for girl #2 is based on looks or you wouldn't keep mentioning it. I can pretty much guarantee you that if girl #1 were the cutest one of the two, you probably wouldn't even be considering the long distance girl because she comes with a LOT more issues. Stop letting girl #2's looks influence you as much as they are. That usually never works in your favor, anyway. yeah girl 2 would bring more issues but girl 1 seems to be more aggressive. She even mentioned wanting to start her own business and looking for someone who can support her and be her friend and husband - all 3 areas. She does make decent money. Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 I agree w/other posters. If you really liked either one of the girls, you wouldn't be torn about which one to date. When I met my bf, I wasn't torn btw him and other guys, I stopped talking to all them. I concentrated on him. Do not string them along just because you are single atm, that's not fair. Link to post Share on other sites
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