Male dumpees ever get back with female dumper?

[Hollywood-Tourist]

I'm a male and dumped my ex girlfriend recently.

 

 

I still love her to some extent, but right now I am still too hurt to even think about taking her back (assuming that's what she wanted.)

 

 

She cheated on me and that was the reason for the breakup.

[brent878]

Usually it's a slow fade then the proverbial "let's take a break" route. I honestly believe in "gut" feelings and if you're truly "all in" with the relationship, you'll notice there is a change in the dynamic in how she interacts with you. Her body will be there but the connection between you and her will be off. Women (well, good women at least) put everything they have into a relationship with a man they truly love. As long as a man doesn't take advantage of that and gives just as much back, everything is in balance.

 

I knew something was at play because the connection between us was off. Women will telegraph their feelings if you're paying attention. I knew it, she didn't think I knew it, and she entertained what was coming from outside. She never cheated, but she started to fade. Right about then I started to back away and detach. I don't believe in competing for a woman. Fight for her, yes. Compete? Hell no.

 

So as pretty boy was feeding her lines, I was detaching. By the time she asked for a "break" my feeling was "fine with me". "Breaks" are breakups. No other way to state it.

 

I went dead silent. She ended up phoning me, we chatted, got back together, but my feelings were gone. That's her fault and the chance she took.

 

Haven't spoken a word with her since. She blocked me on everything from what I'm told, but I truly don't care...

 

Damn I wish I had your resolve. In a situation where I didn't care this would be easy but often times when there's a slow fade, disappearing even further only enhances it. I have found you can reverse the slow fade but you have to do it via activity, not disappearance. Being more confident and sexual and whatnot can re-pique interest...then when the interest is somewhat regained, that's when you detach and back up a bit. A man disappearing doesn't impact a woman whatsoever if she already doesn't want him and is fading. That is just my experience.

 

But yeah good for you man, I'm envious of your strength.

[edgygirl]

Once I dumped I was zero interested in them ever again.

 

Only once I got back with an ex. But then he was my most important ex, a real friend, and we decided to try again. After I dumped him, he got two girlfriends in a span of maybe 3 years.

 

After his second breakup, a common friend told me he was asking about me. I was also single and we reconnected and had a mini romance. But he was about moving countries, and I took him to the airport. He tried to make me move to the new country but I was busy starting my professional life. I kinda regret not doing it. He ended up with an ex-friend of mine when he found out I was dating someone else.

[Woggle]

I could probably have any of my exes back if I wanted to but that is because I have moved on. When they see you moving on and being happy in your life without it triggers something. This is why as much as you love a woman your happiness should not be based on them being in your life. I love my wife with all my heart but if she ever left me I would make the divorce as quick as possible and move on because begging a woman to love you has never worked out for any man.

[chillii]

Buttttt.

Supposing as a guy , you would possibly reconsider a certain ex right, or at least be willing to talk about it with her.

 

 

What effect do you think it would have on her, if the said ex was to know or you were to tell her , you have non the less been seeing someone new ?

 

 

Does said ex think ok fk you then ?

Or does said ex wake up a bit and start reconsidering herself ?

[SevenCity]

I could probably have any of my exes back if I wanted to but that is because I have moved on. When they see you moving on and being happy in your life without it triggers something. This is why as much as you love a woman your happiness should not be based on them being in your life. I love my wife with all my heart but if she ever left me I would make the divorce as quick as possible and move on because begging a woman to love you has never worked out for any man.

 

Excellent post.

 

I’ll add that even when they don’t “see” you have completely moved on, the universe somehow communicates it to them.

 

That is what I’ve always said - at the point (big if) an ex gf comes back you wont want her anymore. If you somehow want to try once more you’ll never trust her again.

 

Best to move on and never look back.

[Woggle]

Excellent post.

 

I’ll add that even when they don’t “see” you have completely moved on, the universe somehow communicates it to them.

 

That is what I’ve always said - at the point (big if) an ex gf comes back you wont want her anymore. If you somehow want to try once more you’ll never trust her again.

 

Best to move on and never look back.

 

This is true. You put out an energy that is just attractive and that includes your exes. I had an ex beg me for me one more night in front of my wife when she found out we were moving to California.

[chillii]

This is true. You put out an energy that is just attractive and that includes your exes. I had an ex beg me for me one more night in front of my wife when she found out we were moving to California.

 

 

How the hell did she manage that in front of your w, and what did wifey have to say about that one ?

[Woggle]

How the hell did she manage that in front of your w, and what did wifey have to say about that one ?

 

I don't know what possessed her to do that but my wife told her to get the eff out of our house now. My wife wasn't mad at me.

[Mrs._December]

I know there are plenty of these threads on here, but I'm posting a fresh one.

 

I posted my story in a different thread. I'm not assuming that we will get back together in the future, but I'm hopeful. But as of right now, its looking like its over.

Jeez, you pandered to her every chance you got which made you look desperate. Why on earth would you continually do that?

 

I'm sure she let you know every chance she could how much she didn't like your vaping and drinking because suddenly, you were all about quitting for HER. Just because her last boyfriend was a drunk doesn't mean you should have to give up alcohol. Why on earth would you be so eager to pander to her? You should know that you should ONLY quit for yourself and when YOU decide to quit, not when some woman is nagging you to do it due to her baggage from her last failed relationship. If she didn't like that you vape and drink, then it was her choice not to date you.

 

Every time she told you to jump you always replied with, 'how high?' That shows exactly how much of a floor mat you were in that relationship. She'd pretty much stopped having sex with you due to completely feeble and unacceptable excuses and you were so p-whipped that you actually posted that you 'made the mistake' of fighting with her about it - as though you had no right to bring it up. Come on, man!! So now you're not allowed to voice your disappointment and frustration about her lame excuses for basically cutting off of sex?

 

Seriously????

 

Are you getting what I'm trying to impress upon you?

 

You were needy, desperate, way too spineless and way too willing to accept utter CRAP treatment from her just to stay with her. You're only too happy to accept ALL the blame for her complete **** behavior. You disrespected yourself over and over and over and here you are STILL willing to disrespect yourself some more if Miss Thang shows up out of the blue and crooks her little finger at you. Ugh.

 

Find your spine.

 

Women seldom if ever respect wimpy guys they can boss around. I can't respect a 'man' if he's willing to lay on the ground and let me wipe my damned shoes on his back. That's not gentlemanly, it's pitifully needy and weak. Sorry, but that's reality. Guys who are so desperate to stay in a woman's orbit that they'll virtually do anything in order to stay there - dancing around like trained monkeys always eager to stay in a woman's good graces - look like sad, pitiful fools.

 

Go back and read your initial post in that thread again and tell me you weren't acting desperate with this woman.

 

Stop being that guy, CCross.