He left me for a 17 year old! What do I do?

[Ninjabear]

I dated my ex for almost 2 years They were 2 amazing years and his family loved us together.. Of course we had our ups and downs as well. 4 weeks ago, I find pictures of him going on dates with another person (17 year old girl.. he is 25) She was very open in letting people know that she really wants him. When I asked him about it, he told me she is way too young for him and that there were other people around in the picture (I'm not an idiot, I saw it was a table for two). 3 Weeks ago he told me that he needs to be alone and that due to the stress of his job and possibly joining the military soon, a relationship with me is a distraction. I cried a lot and he hung up. He told me after the break up via text that he just needed more time to think.

 

Today I log into FB to find a picture of them that she posted with hearts everywhere and her status set to in a relationship. He didn't approve the pic onto his fb profile nor did he like it, but still.. he lets her post pictures of them together lovingly.

 

I've having a horrendous time trying to move on and deep down I know no one is worth crying about every day. What am I supposed to do? I've been doing NC for 2 weeks now and its still killing me daily. I thought he was an amazing person I wanted to spend my life with. Any suggestions please... ?

[MidwestUSA]

I'm going to guess you're somewhere in the 22-25 year age range?

 

All I can say is chin up, his loss. He'll get bored of her immature ways eventually; do NOT let him come crawling back to you. He's showing his own immaturity.

 

You have your whole life ahead of you. You'll find someone much more worthy. I know it's not much consolation in the moment, but trust me, it's true.

 

Don't be in a rush to settle down with one person, it's not all it's cracked up to be; not at your age. Take your time, enjoy life, travel, get into some new hobbies. You'll meet so many more people along the way, you'll wonder what you ever saw in him.

 

Best wishes, it gets better, I promise.

[Ninjabear]

I'm going to guess you're somewhere in the 22-25 year age range?

 

 

I'm older than him

29

[PegNosePete]

Today I log into FB to find a picture of them

..

I've been doing NC for 2 weeks now

Really... I think you need to read the NC guide here on this forum.

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/470829-all-new-2014-no-contact-guide

What you're doing is NOT NC. You need to stop FB stalking him!

 

One you cut him out of your life properly, you can begin the process of healing and recovering. But if you're checking up on him then you'll be held in purgatory forever.

[MidwestUSA]

I'm older than him

29

 

Ah, well from a maturity standpoint, you're about ten years above and beyond him.

 

Look to the future while he sows his oats. He'll reap his rewards in time. Hang in there!

[Ninjabear]

Really... I think you need to read the NC guide here on this forum.

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/470829-all-new-2014-no-contact-guide

What you're doing is NOT NC. You need to stop FB stalking him!

 

One you cut him out of your life properly, you can begin the process of healing and recovering. But if you're checking up on him then you'll be held in purgatory forever.

 

I didn't look for it nor did I fb stalk him.

I just haven't deleted him from my fb friends list yet, therefore posts will eventually pop up.

 

Guess next step is to delete him off social media.

[PegNosePete]

I didn't look for it nor did I fb stalk him.

But you noticed that he didn't approve the pic onto his profile and he didn't "like" it. You obviously spend time looking at the post rather than just seeing it scroll past. Yes, next stop is to unfriend and BLOCK him and her from all social media.

[zouz71]

I think you are making a mistake as he is still your friend on Social media ...

 

 

From another perspective the age difference is not really bad between them , except that she is still a teen .

 

 

Age is less important between two than the dreams they share .

[HumanMachine]

Remove from social media and move on with your life. Whatever he gets up to is none of your business anymore.

[elaine567]

There is little you can do apart form block him and make sure your paths do not cross.

Do you really need a man wants to date teenagers?

No.

Better you find out now than 3 years down the line with a baby in tow.

[Ninjabear]

There is little you can do apart form block him and make sure your paths do not cross.

Do you really need a man wants to date teenagers?

No.

Better you find out now than 3 years down the line with a baby in tow.

 

 

You're right! I don't need a man who dates teens.

Nonetheless, it's still brutal to go through and I'm trying to do everything to move on. But I'm scared and broken.

It was just such a shock to find out he lied and replaced me with the same girl who he told me was way too young for him.. (I asked him who she was before when she posted pics of them together. He told me it was a lads night while we were dating).

 

Yea, I must block him but the thought of him being someone valuable is still stuck in my head I can't seem to shake it off.

[elaine567]

Yea, I must block him but the thought of him being someone valuable is still stuck in my head I can't seem to shake it off.

Nothing valuable about a man who couldn't say no to temptation and cheated on you, is there?

He is not bf, husband and father material, not yet anyway.

He is 25 I guess he still needs to sow a bit of wild oats.

[stillafool]

You're right! I don't need a man who dates teens.

Nonetheless, it's still brutal to go through and I'm trying to do everything to move on. But I'm scared and broken.

 

What are you scared of?

[AmyHershaw]

It truly is astonishing how someone you were once so close to and shared your life with can stop caring one day and become a distant memory. It doesn't sound like he was right for you and chances are this new relationship he has with this girl doesn't last for long. It is better to block him, because if you still have feelings from him and you're looking at posts of him with someone else, it will hurt you even more. I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago, I found that once I had blocked him and started doing things to take my mind off him, I healed a lot quicker.

 

You deserve to be with someone who respects you and makes you happy rather than cause you to feel downtrodden. Stay strong.

[Ninjabear]

What are you scared of?

 

I'm scared of not being able to move on. I know Its stupid but the rejection was traumatic. I'm scared of opening up to people in the future. I've heard so many stories of people taking years to move on and I don't want to be one of them.

 

I've been cheated on 3 times in the past and it weighs down, and it makes me think deep down that everyone is capable of cheating with no shame.

[Ninjabear]

It truly is astonishing how someone you were once so close to and shared your life with can stop caring one day and become a distant memory. It doesn't sound like he was right for you and chances are this new relationship he has with this girl doesn't last for long. It is better to block him, because if you still have feelings from him and you're looking at posts of him with someone else, it will hurt you even more. I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago, I found that once I had blocked him and started doing things to take my mind off him, I healed a lot quicker.

 

You deserve to be with someone who respects you and makes you happy rather than cause you to feel downtrodden. Stay strong.

 

It is very astonishing and heartless. Thank you. Staying strong until this hell passes over.

[AmyHershaw]

It is very astonishing and heartless. Thank you. Staying strong until this hell passes over.

 

It definitely is, you are better than him and it will pass over at some point, it takes time to heal.

[KissingFire]

My horrible ex many moons ago left me for a 17 year old. He was still sleeping with me when they got together, not that I knew any better as I was blinded by love. Three weeks later they announced her pregnancy and I was dust in the wind. 5 years later, they're still together and have another daughter. I only know this through a mutual friend, but honestly I couldn't really care less anymore.

 

The bitterness fades. It took about a year to get over the heartache and betrayal. He told me he hated me and blocked me on everything for no real reason. To this day I still think it was her.

 

Now I hardly remember his laugh. I don't remember much from our time together and he was my first everything. I have loved and lost in the years that have passed, and now I am dating a man, who for the first time in my life, I can see a proper future with. He is not addicted to drugs, stuck in a dead end job, or whatever. As a nurturer, I found through my therapist that I go for "fixer uppers" because I do not believe I deserve better. But I do.

 

Anywho, I digress. I'm over 40 days NC with my ex and while I still have down days where I think of the good times, being with someone new has completely given me a fresh perspective. It feels wonderful to be with someone who truly takes care of me and never lets me pay for anything and treats me like the lady I am.

 

Good luck with everything. xxx

[preraph]

Well, now you know where his priorities lie. Some guys just can't say no to shiny young girls, no matter whether they're compatible or not -- and they won't be because she has no maturity on her. Still, you don't want to keep him and have kids and then have him go after her friends once she's a teen.

 

You just need to block them both and stay off their social media and not even let him contact you at all. And then move on.

[d0nnivain]

I'm scared of not being able to move on. I know Its stupid but the rejection was traumatic. I'm scared of opening up to people in the future. I've heard so many stories of people taking years to move on and I don't want to be one of them.

 

I've been cheated on 3 times in the past and it weighs down, and it makes me think deep down that everyone is capable of cheating with no shame.

 

This break up & it's scandalous origins have rocked your world & further damaged your already fragile psyche. Do disconnect from him on social media. Out of sight, will help get him out of your mind.

 

Take some time to work on yourself. You need to heal. It's OK to grieve. Tears are cathartic.

[Ninjabear]

Well, now you know where his priorities lie. Some guys just can't say no to shiny young girls, no matter whether they're compatible or not -- and they won't be because she has no maturity on her. Still, you don't want to keep him and have kids and then have him go after her friends once she's a teen.

 

You just need to block them both and stay off their social media and not even let him contact you at all. And then move on.

 

I guess it's a reflection of who he really is. If he thinks dating someone so young and immature is good for him then he is just a child himself. I'm starting to realize that now. Trying to move on and continue NC. I know he won't reach out and it's probably for the best but some days are so hard.