melonmint57 Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 I can't be the only one can I?! As a 29 year old self employed individual working in marketing, I'm constantly surrounded by people, yet I lack serious friendships. Granted I understand my non-traditional work schedule and travel only complicate matters, but how in the world do people make friends in their late 20s/early 30s? I'd like to consider some of my co-workers friends, but we spend so much time together working, there's not really an urge to spend time together outside of work. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 I'm getting toward my late 20s and I've had similar problems even earlier on in my 20s. It's a really common problem which is overlooked by those with close friendship groups. Serious friendships tend to be a lot like dating without the romance/attraction element. They take a long time to build, require a lot of effort and are highly dependent on the personalities being compatible. Think about what your main interests are outside of work. Do you know many people (whether they're close or not) who are also interested in similar things? It's worth asking them to join at some point - you really have nothing to lose. There are also meetup groups that might match your interests as well. The main thing is - don't get too worried about asking people to do stuff. They will either make it or they won't - and even if they can't, they usually appreciate the effort. Link to post Share on other sites
diddilybop Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 (edited) it's not only you, i think as we get older, meeting new friends is difficult because of "adulting"and responsibilities. plus, as we get older, our free-time is can become more limited, thus, more precious and we usually only want to spend it with those we love. however, there are ways to meet new and more people - do you belong to a gym? you can meet people and possibly strike a new friendship through group fitness classes. there are also local sports leagues/sports clubs with people in their 20s-30s. i have one friend who's in a local volleyball league, they meet every saturday, practice and play against other teams, and then they go out to the bar afterwards, haha. if you're more of the creative type, there are adult crafting workshops. research some community group activities in your area and check-out the ones that interest you the most. don't get too hard on yourself if you don't meet anyone straight away, it's always nice to just get out of the house too Edited December 7, 2018 by diddilybop 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author melonmint57 Posted December 7, 2018 Author Share Posted December 7, 2018 diddilybop, you're absolutely right, free time is precious and I do like my alone time. As far as group activities and functions, half the battle is timing. My off time is generally weekday during the day, most people with traditional jobs are at work. I also enjoy traveling and have the ability to just up and leave for weeks at a time if I want.... also something most people (that I know anyway) cannot do. I also feel more and more disconnected with people I previously was closer with as they get married and start families.... which is something I'm not interested in. I may try to get involved with some business related continuing education courses, might sharpen my skillset and meet some like-minded people along the way. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Dodgersfan11 Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 Yup, its really hard. And friendship is a 2 way street. Not saying its impossible to make new friends in late 20's or 30's, but seems like everyone has met their best friends from college and will remain to stick to their own social circle. Its just hard to penetrate that circle of friends. I just look at people and their friendships, some are "besties" who happened to be roomies from school. They have long history of friends. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 Most of the friends I made as adult came through work related groups. You are self employed so join some entrepreneurial groups to make friends. Another option is volunteering. You can connect with people who care about what you care about. I was also able to reconnect with people through alumni groups. Link to post Share on other sites
outwithpeterpan Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 I can't be the only one can I?! As a 29 year old self employed individual working in marketing, I'm constantly surrounded by people, yet I lack serious friendships. Granted I understand my non-traditional work schedule and travel only complicate matters, but how in the world do people make friends in their late 20s/early 30s? I'd like to consider some of my co-workers friends, but we spend so much time together working, there's not really an urge to spend time together outside of work. It's very hard. I have a close knit circle of childhood friends, but we dispersed and I moved to a new city after college. So I had to start from ground zero after college. It took years but I eventually met a group of people I really get along with. It took some combo of random chance and stumbling upon a new hobby. I guess it's like dating, in that you need to find "single" people. The people who have friend groups, are already taken. You have to find other 20-somethings who are interested in making friends. Then if you get along, and have some things in common, include them. If someone already has a friend group they spend Friday nights with (in the metaphorical sense at least, if not literally Friday night) then they're probably taken. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 People don't usually make many (or any) new friends after the mid 20s because usually by then, everyone is pairing up, getting married, having kids, moving out to the suburbs, having more responsibilities at work and home, etc. The "friends" that do get made are more circumstantial, ex: people you happen to work with, parents of your kids' friends, etc. I remember growing up my parents had a lot of friends from the early stages of life, but the only new ones they made after 35 were the parents of my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 (edited) For some reason in my life. Making friends has been easy. I don't know why. I have a lot of my childhood friends around and I still make new ones. Dating and having a romantic relationship, is hard. As I look at my life its like vry3 yrs there is a romantic contender for my love and if it does not last, then there is nothing. Life sure is a mixed bag. I was at a club listening to a band on Friday. There were two women by me. One was attached with a BF who was with her. The other seemed single. Guess which on talked to me all night, off and on. The Attached one. Is it my luck or what. I did try to talk to the single one and she was ok, but I had to make more of the conversation happen. The connection these days is hard. Edited December 9, 2018 by Mysterio Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 People don't usually make many (or any) new friends after the mid 20s because usually by then, everyone is pairing up, getting married, having kids, moving out to the suburbs, having more responsibilities at work and home, etc. The "friends" that do get made are more circumstantial, ex: people you happen to work with, parents of your kids' friends, etc. I remember growing up my parents had a lot of friends from the early stages of life, but the only new ones they made after 35 were the parents of my friends. The absolute truth in almost all respects, well in my opinion anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Sinister Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 People don't usually make many (or any) new friends after the mid 20s because usually by then, everyone is pairing up, getting married, having kids, moving out to the suburbs, having more responsibilities at work and home, etc. The "friends" that do get made are more circumstantial, ex: people you happen to work with, parents of your kids' friends, etc. I remember growing up my parents had a lot of friends from the early stages of life, but the only new ones they made after 35 were the parents of my friends. Yeah. This. I've hung onto some friends from high school - zero from college - and a few in my professional life. Made some over the years do to shared hobbies mainly. Close connections are pretty rare and once you have a house and all that crap doing things with people for fun is unusual. Often you have to be willing to do it alone. I think that for those that don't experience it this way, they are those who can't exist without being part of a crowd. Link to post Share on other sites
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