My story, just learning to be alone

[Just a Guy]

Hi NOEMI, I am sorry but I am a little confused with your timelines. You said you lost contact with your current husband in 2011 and subsequently got married. You then got in touch with him again in 2013 by which time you were already divorced. You say you have two children and were a single mom for 13 years before being remarried. Now you say your two boys spend two days a week with your husband. How could you be a single mom for 13 years if you married your first husband sometime in 2011 and were divorced by 2013? Also if your sons were fathered by your first husband why do they need to spend time with your current husband? Sorry I am not getting it but maybe you did not specify things clearly. Can you please shed some light?

 

For the rest, you have stated that you took things for granted with your current husband because you thought he would never leave you. Maybe he sensed he was not top on your priority list and you were taking him for granted. This may have fueled resentment within him and when it became unbearable he just exploded. I do not know what TBI stands for but if it is something stemming from his brain injury then his insensitive reaction to his relationship with you may possibly stem from that. This is your second go around with marriage and you need to step back and assess as to why your relationships have such limited lifespans. It requires two hands to clap and all the blame for the break up of a relationship cannot rest with one person alone. You would do well to reflect on your own contribution to the breakdown of your marriage. Best wishes.

[Noemiforever43]

Hi everyone, well some of you have been confused with my time line, here goes some more information about me,

when I was 17 years old I met my first Husband we will name him Husband 1was with him until I turned 26, almost 10 years.. we live together for many years he was always verbally abusive , he would throw food in my face, he will attempt to strangled me when I was 6 months pregnant with his child, after having his kid, he cheated on me, we had up and downs all the time, but when he cheated that was the end.

 

I walked away, with my boy in my arms crying, the guy, was so bad and so abusive that situation was with me for 13 years I was single , but he was always in control, he never left me move on, with my life, I was always focus on my son, when I turned 34 I found my childhood friend, and we decided to start something, it was hard for me to be married, when I was used been alone for 13 years, my 2nd husband, was also cheating, this situation was dysfunctional, perhaps i was never supposed to give love a try.

 

This lasted 1 year he stole my money and cheated and left me pregnant, around this time I met my Best Friend and so unfortunately we had a rough start, I was done with men, and at this point been again alone with 2 boys, I had no desire to be with anyone, so to make the story short, I gave him a try after 2 years of him trying to be with me. Now after 6 years of been and now with 3 boys he says he stop loving me, I am done

Edited December 7, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Noemiforever43]

It hurts to make mistakes, but one thing for sure is I am not supposed to be married, and I love myself, I learned now, that no one can love you, if you don't love yourself, I am currently seeking counseling, for my self growth, and to stop feeling negative, I am mistaking love and lust, I am so done with Marriage, I do wish the best to all my ex husbands, and have no desire to seek any relationship never again..... my pain is unbearable I never beg anyone before and I never wanted to be attached to anyone. I made the biggest mistake of my life, begging a stranger for love and affection, when he was never interested in me, I am talking about my 3 husband that now he is becoming my ex as well.

[Simple Logic]

It hurts to make mistakes, but one thing for sure is I am not supposed to be married, and I love myself, I learned now, that no one can love you, if you don't love yourself, I am currently seeking counseling, for my self growth, and to stop feeling negative, I am mistaking love and lust, I am so done with Marriage, I do wish the best to all my ex husbands, and have no desire to seek any relationship never again..... my pain is unbearable I never beg anyone before and I never wanted to be attached to anyone. I made the biggest mistake of my life, begging a stranger for love and affection, when he was never interested in me, I am talking about my 3 husband that now he is becoming my ex as well.

 

It took you 3 marriages to figure it out?

[William]

Moderation merged three threads on the same general separation/divorce topic for continuity. There may be some overlap and/or duplication.

[preraph]

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. How old are your kids now? Do any of them belong to this husband with the brain injury? I'm thinking about child custody and thinking that for you it would be best if he had joint custody -- but with his brain injury and now having changed and being mean, that he shouldn't, which leaves you with the burden.

 

Are any of these men going to have to pay child support to you? If so, you have to go to the court and get that and then you'll have to make enough money to live by either working and affording childcare or someone having the kids part of the time so you can work. I know it's a tough place to be in.