Bf of 5 years kicked me out of his car pretty much...

[Starnette83]

Last night I slept over my bf house and we had a good time, we cuddle and watched a movie and then he went on his computer for an hour 1/2 and played poker. I wanted us to spend time together, and not be playing poker when i was around but even though i told him he didnt listen and insisted in playing poker, so i didnt bother getting mad and just layed in bed trying to get myself to sleep since the next day i had to wake up for class. So i wake up for class and kiss him goodbye. I went to class and at the end of my last class 3pm, i call him. He says hes in the neighborhood since he went to do some errands and if i wanted to eat, so i said ok.

We both have classes at 7pm but at separate school but not too far from one another, so after eating for like 30-40min, he says hes going to drop me off (it was around 4) because he was going to go to the arcades. He knew this would make me sad/or mad since he even said "dont get mad"...I said calmy " I wish we could hang out a little bit more, you can go to the arcade another day".. he then says "No, i want to go right now, I already came to eat with u, isnt that enough"...and starts ranting "nothing is ever enough for you"... I then say "Calm down dude, im just telling u this, i just really think its kinda shady thta u want to leave because u want to play arcades when ucan do that anytime"...by this point he begins getting really angry and we are already where he needs to drop me off..he says "Get out" and i get in tears seeing how he doesnt get it...he begins saying "Youre such a baby, get out"....for some dumb reason i kept trying to calm him down and at the same time saying "I cant believe ure doing this, why am i dealing with this?"...he gets so mad that he is screaming at me and saying "GET OUT, OR IMMA KICK YOU OUT"..and pretty much kinda left me with no choice but to get out, since he went to the other side and opened my door all pissed, i couldve sworn he wouldve pulled me out and stuff.

Obviously he just drove off, as i just stood there, walking away crying with the phone in my hand. I called my sister and explained to her waht happened. She is telling me to just SCREW HIM, and hes not worth it.

 

The thing is hes done this in the past and ive forgiven him. He knows I love him. Hes 21 and I'm 22. I feel so mad, and hurt at the same time for him acting this way. He goes from being so cool to being an a**h***.

 

I dont know what to think or feel anymore, sometimes i blame myself but then at the same time he has no right to act that way with me. I just dont get it. So pretty much as he was pushing me out " I said dont call me again" and he said "fine, I Wont, actually YA ILL NEVER CALL U AGAIN CUZ NOW U MADE ME MAD" or some crap like that. and i believe it, since he is full of pride, but it just sucks

[Merin]

He's an A`Hole

 

He isn't worth it, your Sister is right...

 

Don't call him... Don't contact him... I don't care how mad he is, this is his issue and I can garauntee leave him alone long enough he'll get the hell over it and call you.... question is... do you really want this kind of bs in your life?

[CantDecide...]

screw him, ive been mad at hell at my ex before, over stupid S*it, but that takes the cake. and evan if i was ever that pissed i would atleast drop you off were you would need to be.

[Rocko]

Wow, thats f***ing unbelievable. What a jerk! "Drop him like its hot.."

[sanne]

no offense to your bf, but what kind of 21 year old man ditches their gf to go an arcade and play video games. i'm thinking your better off finding someone a little more mature, he sounds like a little kid.

[Starnette83]

Hey cantdecide "drop you off were you would need to be." well he did drop me off where i needed to be, so thats why he wanted me to get out already. Ya he thinks that because he hanged out with me the night before, that I shouldn't have expected to kick it longer then for that time we went to eat. I dont know, he is always playing arcades and poker, and im fine with it, but when he rather go do that then spend time with me, it feels so shady because personally i love to do things to but i would most likely choose spending time with him then those other things..he doesnt get it though. I just dont know what to think, or feel. I go from tears, to whatever, to just confused about the whole thing. I blame myself, then i blame him, then i just dont know who to blame. anyways i doubt he will call me, and i know this sounds dumb but i do want him to call me in a way..lets just say i am so confused that i dont know what i want, its like a battle between mind (logic) and heart (memories, feelings etc)

[Starnette83]

Well today is thursday and he hasnt called me, so i doubt he will call me anytime soon and maybe it is over. I just keep thinking about him, and though i should be mad i cant, and i get over it fast and think of him in good ways. I dont know why but it seems like my love for him is stronger then anger, and sadness. I miss him and i do hope he comes around but at the same time i need time alone.

[Weird]

guy sounds like a douchebag and you need to just not have him in your life. I am sure you could do better than this guy.

 

heres a *hug* for your trouble

[Razorback05]

This guy sounds like an immature spoiled brat. I would kick him out of your life and just forget him.

 

Btw it's ok to feel anger about how he's treated you (acting on it is something different...don't do it). I think you will find that the sooner you allow that feeling to consume what you feel for this guy, the sooner you will feel better. I feel that alot of people keep the anger pushed down too long, and thus run their self-worth into the ground because they know they should feel angry, but feel bad about allowing themselves to.

 

Get angry. Get done. Get on with it.

[In Sync]

PLEASE LISTEN TO EVERYONE WHO'S REPLIED TO YOUR POST...LOSE THIS BOYFRIEND! PERIOD.

I have experienced the ex who aside from serious anger problems also had the computer poker playing obssession. Would rather spend hours playing poker on the computer than being with me. It's unhealthy and it puts you in second place. You are way to young to be enduring his obnoxious behavior. 5 years is a lot of time but trust me he's on the road to berating you. Please get rid of him. Better for you to agonize over losing him for a few weeks or month than to let him mistreat you and have emotional scars that will effect you later on in life. Anyone who shuts himself off to the computer or arcade games as oppose to relating to a real person has problems and he's ain't going to change that bad habit. Run baby run away from that one.

[Starnette83]

Hey guys, all of u are right, wow, i dont know why i have let myself gone so low. Today i realized it, but then again ive always known but its been so hard to accept since when u love someone u just tend to ignore and ignore and ignore until u realize ure self worth is gone. He really has stolen my self esteem, i dont even know who i am anymore when i think about it, ive become a stressed out, insecure, complaining girl. And this is not who i was, i was happy, sweet, caring, fun, secure girl. I dont need this crap in my life, im too young and this is taking so much of me, i see it everyday, im not even happy.

 

Anyways after a week he gave me a call and i let him back in, anyways but we havent been in good terms, he knows he has the upper hand, anyways today we got in a fight because i got insecure after a call, I just cant help it anymore. Anyways he started screaming at me, and then he walked away like he didnt care, finally he had no choice but to talk to me since we were in my car and his car was in my house, so we had to drive to my house..anyways we talked but he wanted to break up, finally i just said "ok" and after some silence he asked me to park and we began talking and he said how he didnt like me telling him what to do and hes been considering wanting to go to a strip club since hes never gone to one, and his friends invited him to one.

 

Ive always been against strip clubs, ALWAYS and hes always known about it, i know hes never gone to one and hes curious but i also feel that he wont die without going and if he really loves me he shouldnt, since its one of the MAJOR THINGS that im 100% against. So ive decided that whatever, imma just let him do his thing and move on, its just not worth to even wonder if hes gonna go, because in a way i think he will anyways...I know i need to move on, I NEED TO RECOVER MY SELF ESTEEm, i really do!!! i dont feel happy, and tho i love him...he DOES NOT DESERVE A GIRL LIKE ME!!! i am a really great girl, im respectful, fun, sweet, caring, morals, etc..but hes losing me and if he wants to go trashy girls shake their ass and show their titties, then let him....i need to be with someone who makes me feel i am the most special one and that they can say "NO" to friends.

 

ugh

[Treasa]

Let me be the one (sort of) dissenting voice, here. Yes, your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. HOWEVER, I think that a big part of your problem together stems from the fact that you've been dating since he was 16, and you want time together more than he does.

 

I don't see anything wrong with a 21-year old guy wanting to go play video games or poker or whatnot. My boyfriend likes video games, too. Actually, so do I. And he's 26 and I'm 30. But my point is that you can't expect him to make you the center of his life. Most 21-year old guys don't do that. In fact, you shouldn't be "choosing" him over other activities so often, either.

 

Both of you are in school, and that should probably be your focus. You're very young, and he probably feels stifled because he's been in a relationship that's had a lot of issues for quite a while now.

 

If you're determined to keep him as your boyfriend (and you may not be, anymore, and I wouldn't blame you), then you need to back off a little and let him be a 21-year old guy. Let him play video games. Don't stay the night. Go do your own thing. People may disagree with me, but I'm convinced that most guys like to do the chasing. When you're always wanting to be with them and have their attention, *you're* the one who's doing the chasing.

 

I've read posts where you've told him you wanted to break up, but then basically admitted that you only told him this to get him to "fight" for you. You've also said that you have no self esteem. These aren't exactly things that keep a guy attracted to you.

 

I've been reading your posts for well over a year now. I don't even understand all the drama you have with this guy.

[In Sync]

I think guys will do things like video games and play poker, but just because he is 21 years old is no excuse for a guy kicking you out of a car. To me that's unacceptable behavior.

What does video games have to do with showing lack of respect to a girlfriend? And even if he wants to spend his time doing that activity, ok ffine let him. But guess what there's nothing wrong with you at this age and stage of your relationship want more intimacy. You can enjoy indulging in an activiy and wanting an intimate relationship at the same time. I say, don't settle for just accepting his behavior because he's 21. He'll eventually be 31 so at what point do you think he'll change? And you need to hang in there waiting till he'll want to be with you the way you like. Why settle for average and what most guys at a certain age will do behavior just to say you have a bf? Expect the best out of a guy and you'll get the kind guy way you want, who can handle games and find plenty of time for you.

[Treasa]

If I had dropped someone off at their destination and they were annoying me, and I had already asked repeatedly that they get out, I'd probably kick them out too.

 

There's nothing wrong with her wanting more intimacy. There's nothing wrong with him NOT wanting as much intimacy. There's something wrong with them staying together if they don't want the same thing.

 

And why does someone have to "change"? I finally gave up trying to change my boyfriend. I'm all the happier with him now. Find someone you don't have to change.