maripsv Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 I am having serious problems to accept that my boyfriend broke up with me. It is like I am in denial and as a result of impulsiveness, it feels that I can’t leave him alone. After 5 days of NC after the break up, I saw his profile on a dating app and freaked out. Couldn’t contain myself and sent a screenshot to him, I didn’t even know what I hoped to accomplish but we had a fight and I just said a lot of hurtful things to him as if I was attempting to make him feel my pain. He did some bad stuff in our relationship but I still did not end it and asked for us to try. We tried for 2 months and it didn’t work. He says he’s not so in love with me anymore and that he’s not ready for a serious relationship like we had (we live together now for a year after 2 years long distance) Deep inside, I know breaking up is the best because I was suffering so much in the relationship but I’m just having a real trouble accepting it is over because I love him and am so used to having him in my life. We had so many great moments together that it’s hard to accept that someone would just give up on all that. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 I am having serious problems to accept that my boyfriend broke up with me. It is like I am in denial and as a result of impulsiveness, it feels that I can’t leave him alone. After 5 days of NC after the break up, I saw his profile on a dating app and freaked out. Couldn’t contain myself and sent a screenshot to him, I didn’t even know what I hoped to accomplish but we had a fight and I just said a lot of hurtful things to him as if I was attempting to make him feel my pain. He did some bad stuff in our relationship but I still did not end it and asked for us to try. We tried for 2 months and it didn’t work. He says he’s not so in love with me anymore and that he’s not ready for a serious relationship like we had (we live together now for a year after 2 years long distance) Deep inside, I know breaking up is the best because I was suffering so much in the relationship but I’m just having a real trouble accepting it is over because I love him and am so used to having him in my life. We had so many great moments together that it’s hard to accept that someone would just give up on all that. You are suffering from temporary adjustment disorder. Keep telling yourself that. Link to post Share on other sites
changingmale Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 Yes it is hard to accept the relationship is over. I have read and reading books to help me understand. I have seen the things i did wrong we did wrong and what should have been done that was not. I am trying my best to get over it but it is so hard. God has helped me a lot and good luck Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 It is brutal and unfortunately there are no short cuts. I won't give you a bunch of sayings, like "time heals all wounds" because, although it's true, it doesn't help in the moment. Try to take things in small chunks. When you're breaking up with someone, it feels like the end of everything. Like you'll never talk to them again, never see them again. Don't focus on that. Focus on getting through the next day or hour if you have to. As those in AA learn, "one day at a time". It helps, it really does. Because every day you feel a tiny bit better. Some days you slide back again, but mostly you get better and better. The best thing you can do? Go NC. It's constantly mentioned on here because it helps and it works. It also sucks. There are a million reasons why it's the right thing, but you have to focus on whatever helps you. Even if it is really petty and mean, do whatever you have to do to remain NC (and especially do not look at their stuff online!!!). You have no idea what they are really doing and you will only make yourself crazy. In the end, you have no choice but to accept it. We cannot make other people do what we want. You will be so much happier if you walk away with your head held high and try to just stay silent. Let him wonder what happened to you and why you stopped talking to him. Have you moved on? Married a billionaire? He has no clue and that's what you want. Meanwhile, you'll be healing. Post here. It helps. I promise. I'm almost 6 weeks NC and I'm doing better. Not healed or over it by a long shot, but not crying all day anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Seeing him on the dating app was probably very painful. At minimum, hopefully you realized that in the short term, perhaps you need to take a step back from dating. Since at least some part of you knows it's for the best, try making a list of all the reasons it's better you are apart. Then make another list of all the things you are going to do with all your new found free time. Best wishes Link to post Share on other sites
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