lovers Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 (edited) We broke up 3 weeks ago and agreed to keep it cordial and friendly. That is what she wanted. Fast forward until now I have been trying to stay strong by not texting her and so we haven't been texting each other for a couple of days now. My mind has been thinking about her a lot. I want to know what she is doing, how she is doing, I want to talk to her, but I know I shouldn't. I am trying to stay strong. We are leaving in a week for a 3 week vacation break we are both in school. Part of me wants to meet up with her and talk, but I don't really have any motive as to why. I guess just to see her and express my feelings, but I know this is bad. From her perspective it looks like I am doing well and staying strong, but behind close doors I am breaking down. First couple of days after break up I wanted her back but she said this is for the best. So I am trying to stay strong. Would love people to talk to to get me through this. Edited December 9, 2018 by lovers Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 You’re over, it’s done. Cut all contact and move forward with your life. I’d bet everything I own that she’s either with another guy or working on something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovers Posted December 9, 2018 Author Share Posted December 9, 2018 You’re over, it’s done. Cut all contact and move forward with your life. I’d bet everything I own that she’s either with another guy or working on something. i woulnd't be surprised my 2 year relationship ended that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 Keep your head high and don't let her see you affected. It's hard but you will survive. Keep busy. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 It's hard, but don't reach out and ask to see her before the holidays. You need to start learning to live without her, which is painful, but will be better for you in the long-run. Give yourself ample time and space to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 I think you are doing really well. It is so hard to be cool with someone you still love. But think of it this way: the more you can remain cool, stay NC, but cordial when you see her, the more she will wonder what you are doing. She may even start to wonder if you're over her and onto someone else. You can't control what she does or if she moves on, but you can leave her with the best impression of you possible. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Focus on your exams & making it through the next few days until break starts. Hang in there but don't reach out for her. Nothing good will come from that Link to post Share on other sites
Indigo.Cranes Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 We broke up 3 weeks ago and agreed to keep it cordial and friendly. That is what she wanted. Fast forward until now I have been trying to stay strong by not texting her and so we haven't been texting each other for a couple of days now. My mind has been thinking about her a lot. I want to know what she is doing, how she is doing, I want to talk to her, but I know I shouldn't. I am trying to stay strong. We are leaving in a week for a 3 week vacation break we are both in school. Part of me wants to meet up with her and talk, but I don't really have any motive as to why. I guess just to see her and express my feelings, but I know this is bad. From her perspective it looks like I am doing well and staying strong, but behind close doors I am breaking down. First couple of days after break up I wanted her back but she said this is for the best. So I am trying to stay strong. Would love people to talk to to get me through this. What she wants should no longer be a high priority for you. She is an ex, meaning she is not a life partner therefore you should not be regarding her needs with the sacrificial detriment of your own as if she is. What YOU need is to heal, to get back to emotional harmony, and to move on with your life without feeling tethered to the temptations of her memory. So that means you need to CUT HER OFF OFFICIALLY, cease contact, stop pretending a platonic friendship is realistic after physical intimacy, and get onto enjoying your limited time alive before it's gone!! Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 From her perspective it looks like I am doing well and staying strong, but behind close doors I am breaking down. Then for the meantime don't contact her - it serves no purpose other than to just vent your emotions and/or make her feel guilty. Remaining platonic friends with an ex is possible but not when you feel like this. Take the time to heal, get really upset if you have to, get over her and move on, and then if you feel like it get in touch with her. Link to post Share on other sites
srt92 Posted December 11, 2018 Share Posted December 11, 2018 I know you wanna see her OP, but it's pretty much done. Your just beginning your adventure to recovery. My advice, stay NC permanently. If she calls, dont answer, if she texts, DO NOT ANSWER. If she wants to comeback trust me, she will relay the message to you whether thru text message, Facebook, and so forth. And please dont go NC in Hope's of thinking it's going to get her back you DO NOT want to be a "back up" plan for her because obviously it sounds like she may have some one else involved. I know it hurts OP it happened to me earlier this year. But guess what you never know what will happen. When my ex broke up with me and humiliated me through neutral friends, I was so devastated and i honestly could not pull through. But guess what, I did. I went NC with her going on 8 months now, and so far I have found a new job, bought a new car, and I'm currently going into a 3 month relationship with a new girl. If you ask me it's kinda scary OP. All this happened within a year. You never know what's going to happen. But that example I just gave you is what i went through is clear proof that another girl is will always want you bro. Who knows, you might get another girl, move on, and then BAM heres your ex resurfacing. Not saying to get another girl just to get her to comeback, but you must go through the dark days my freinds. And if you ask me man to man, your handling this break up quite well. I begged for my ex back weeks and weeks. Click my profile and read and my stories. Congratulations OP you are now on the road to the next chapter in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
joan.l Posted December 11, 2018 Share Posted December 11, 2018 We are leaving in a week for a 3 week vacation break we are both in school. the hardest part about break ups like this is having to be around the person. if its a large enough group, just stick with your friends and try to have fun. stay away from her without looking like you are avoiding her. and dont pay any attention to what she does, even if shes get friendly with other guys you'll get over this eventually, and meet other women too. but you may eventually regret not enjoying this trip if you stay entirely focused on her Link to post Share on other sites
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