jgraham11 Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 So I was thinking the other day after a date I went on with someone about what life would be like with them. I always analyze a date after and wonder if the person would be compatible with me, my family, my job, hobbies, etc. After awhile I came to the conclusion she probably wouldn't fit well in my life. I'm extremely career driven and that's what I care most about (besides family). The thought of being a relationship with her made me feel like I'd be holding myself back from a professional point of view. I know that sounds kind of harsh and cold, but that's just the way I see it. That's how I see most potential relationships actually, almost like they'd be distracting me from what's important. Does anybody else feel that at times? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 11, 2018 Share Posted December 11, 2018 I always analyze a date after and wonder if the person would be compatible with me, my family, my job, hobbies, etc. Seems a little like projecting your night at the poker table after the first hand. Given that few people reveal much about their character or personality on a first date, not sure how valuable the analysis would be. I'd guess you'd find the right relationship would add more than subtract and be more complementary than distracting... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted December 11, 2018 Share Posted December 11, 2018 My relationship with my wife is the driving force behind my ambition. The reason I work as hard as I do is because I want us to have a comfortable life together. To be able to experience what we want to experience together. If she wasn't in my life I'd probably be satisfied with a more relaxed work attitude. Yes however, you do have to try and balance work and wife when you're married. It can help you when it comes to getting ahead though. A lot of promotions and advancements come more from what your superiors think of you rather than merit. It never hurt managements opinions of me when I brought Timshel to work functions and she was the most attractive woman in the room. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Sounds like you don't want to date. My relationship does not get in my way and I enjoy having something else in my life besides work, family and friends. Of course there has to be a balance and letting a relationship rule your life isn't healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 I didn't realize this until later in life, and will likely die and never fully realize it... Life is about balance.... I have always been career driven, but then for what? Money?(I have more than I really ever need), status? (no one really gives a shyt, despite what people like to say), Things? ( eh, all that stuff winds up not mattering really, BTDT).. Time is the most valuable of any commodity...The simple things mean more than anything...For some people, relationships/love really don't mean anything, but I truly believe those people are very rare...Most thrive while in a successful relationship.. Again...balance.. TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 (edited) So I was thinking the other day after a date I went on with someone about what life would be like with them. I always analyze a date after and wonder if the person would be compatible with me, my family, my job, hobbies, etc. After awhile I came to the conclusion she probably wouldn't fit well in my life. I'm extremely career driven and that's what I care most about (besides family). The thought of being a relationship with her made me feel like I'd be holding myself back from a professional point of view. I know that sounds kind of harsh and cold, but that's just the way I see it. That's how I see most potential relationships actually, almost like they'd be distracting me from what's important. Does anybody else feel that at times? Okay, so some people are in love with their careers because nothing else trumps their career. They don't love anything or anyone more than their career. Is that the case with you? Because that will never change or may change too late in life. Ironically, I have seen people like this still get married at an alarming rate. They find some logical or functional reason to get married and a willing partner and do it. The marriage might even last a lifetime because these people are successful and the spouse is none-the-wiser or just doesn't care. Another possibility is that you are afraid of failing at a relationship, which is a very very VERY common feeling, and so you are making excuses to avoid getting into a relationship. One of the shortcuts people take to get around this, is just not to ever commit. So date and have fun but don't ever get serious. Edited December 15, 2018 by snowcones 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 Absolutely. If I met a guy who was so career driven that it would affect the relationship, I'd write him off. You would want the opposite. It's all about finding who's right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 I have always been career driven, but then for what? Money?(I have more than I really ever need), status? (no one really gives a shyt, despite what people like to say), Things? ( eh, all that stuff winds up not mattering really, BTDT).. Truth about status. I couldn't give a toss about someone's status. Unless they felt the had a high status...in which case, I'd cut him off. Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 Or, maybe the OP is a guy who is AFRAID that a relationship will be more important to him and distract him making the guala? Hopefully, he clarifies. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 Or, maybe the OP is a guy who is AFRAID that a relationship will be more important to him and distract him making the guala? Hopefully, he clarifies. Or mabe the OP is afraid of women and is using his work as an excuse. Will also be interested in the clarification 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 Or mabe the OP is afraid of women and is using his work as an excuse. Will also be interested in the clarification That's also possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Giraffe-A Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 Yes. Since I was 6, I was career-minded. I imagined not dating, but would meet my husband in some random way later in life. And I did meet him in the most random way at age 15. I was definitely held back but not because of him. rather myself. This relationship lasted unril I was 25. He passed away. At 27, I used all he has taught me and presented the world with the confidence he gave me. Since then, I really did push all the boys aside. One or two made it in but was happy to see them gone as that opened me up for my next work or home project. Link to post Share on other sites
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