I also wanted out but feel kind of sad

[somywatchends]

So my fiance and I had been having issues, her personality seemed to change once we started moving in together. The issues were small house things which I would not argue about and juts help with when she would mention it but continue a long diatribe about it. There were a few times there was some push and pull for a few days but the worst came when she decided to up and leave just days after a wonderful weekend together. She moved back to her house (She was supposed to sell it to help with the one we bought) again after a few days she talked about how much she missed me but that was a huge hit. I loved the woman she was so I continued to try and things would be great when she was the person I met, but this other person would come out more frequently. So over the fast few months we had some good times but it faded and I wanted out, I just wasn't as attracted to her as I once was but was hoping the person I met would come back out.

 

So when she would pull closer to me I would feel more like there was someone better but when she would fade Id get pulled in a little. She ended it just saying we are too different of people(because I didn't handle or do things the way she wanted I guess) So she ended it and I agreed, I mostly feel relief other then being left with a house I need to foreclose on. But sometimes I get a little sad, why does that happen if I w anted out too and some major damage was done by her actions?

 

I think I feel more of a loss when I get to thinking Ill never meet anyone again and when I think of what I miss about her it's nothing but when I get lost in my thoughts I find myself overvaluing and romanticizing her and what was. Guess I'm just looking for your thoughts and support.

[healing light]

How long were you guys together? How old are you guys? What types of house things would you argue about? Was there an unfair division of labor? Different styles of cleanliness?

 

Breakups are hard. When people move in together, they get to know each other on another level and sometimes discover other incompatibilities that weren't as evident upfront. It's natural to miss someone when they were such a large part of your life. I think a lot of people look back with rose-colored glasses. I know I do.

 

I think on some level it's easy to fear that you'll never find another match, but chances are highly likely that's not true. If there's nothing specific that you miss about this woman when you contemplate it, then it's likely it wouldn't have lasted the trials and tribulations of marriage if you guys had made it that far.

 

Do you have any hobbies or outside activities that help fulfill you?

[somywatchends]

Mid forties, about a year and a half, you'd think wed know what we want. Of course its just my side but anger started with me playfully knocking over block with her nephew(I could have hurt them), saying I was right in a kind non aggressive manor another even in an argument and her getting mad. That I didn't shut the blinds in the right direction. I was not a division of labor as I was always happy to help, its just I wouldnt do it the way she liked and instead of talking through it, it would talk into an hour diatribe. I'm not perfect by any means, but I always wanted to help. I also am not a slob leaving things around, but I could wait sometimes before things were done.

 

 

The attraction was there and chemistry otherwise, fulfill physically until the end in fact I think that kept her around longer. Became involved with her family, daughter, church, treated her right. It just seemed to me that she started looking for reasons to get made or not like/love me and eventually it worked for both of us. I think there are some deeper rooted issues there, she was in an abusive marriage with an addict. I always treated her right and am nothing like that, its like when things "got real" all of this behavior came out and was nowhere to be seen before. I can be forgetful and may not treat somethings as urgently as she would but my personality stayed the same.

 

I mean I care, if she would want to come back to me the answer would be no barring some crazy 180 but how could I even trust that. I'm just a little puzzled as to why Im thinking about it so much because I truly thing its the best for both of us.

 

There is nothing I miss about the way things were since things got real and I have to believe that is the real person she is. Of course I miss the person that was, but she has been long gone which is why I wanted out too.

 

Maybe trying to understand and avoid that in the future and WTF...lol

 

Also just tools to stop my over romanticizing and/or thinking about the previous version of the person, because this would absolutely have not happened if that version was real.

 

Thanks for letting me ramble on....Im sure there will be more