How long does it take to get over an ex?

[TheBetterPerson]

I had been in a 7 year relationship, it ended, we moved out of our lovely flat and i moved into a house share.

We started off being nice and friendly, i felt so relieved but now after 3 months he has someone new and it's actually making me feel physically sick, i can't sleep, eat, concentrate on anything... I really hate this!

Attachment to one person that you know you shouldn't be with but all you can think of is them all day long, when will this be over?

Anyone has any tips to help with this depressing process?

 

Thanks

[JFReyes]

The most recommended tip in this site is to keep no contact. NC will help you concentrate on yourself so you can move on.

[TheBetterPerson]

Indeed, that is exactly what i am doing but just the thought is pretty savage

[JFReyes]

It won't be easy but it can be done. One rule of thumb is that the feelings will last for half the time the relationship lasted. In my case -- after a 10 year relationship -- I recently saw my ex after 5 years post BU and felt good, liberated.

[Melissa_J]

It’s different for everyone. Just take it day by day, do NC and distract yourself from thoughts of him. If you help yourself try to move on quicker you can.

[TheBetterPerson]

Yes that is the moment i live for. Its just i will be at work trying to concentrate and then it will pop into my head, the attachment i get is ridiculous and makes me so scared to every feel like this way again. How did get through your 5 years of NC and healing?

 

thank you in advance.

K

[d0nnivain]

I have heard it takes approximately 1/2 the length of the relationship to fully get over someone. Changing relationship status & moving are also 2 of the biggest stressors out there so you have a long road ahead of you.

 

It's tough going from living together to not talking. NC does feel harsh but it's more about not picking at a scab. If you fall & get cut, you know not to pick the scab because you bleed all over again & healing is delayed. It is the same with a broken heart. When you interact with your EX you are picking the scab of your broken heart.

 

Give yourself time & space. Do grieve. You lost something that was once precious & a lot is new about your life. It will take time. At minimum, I'd give yourself to the summer to figure it all out before you try dating again. Take some time. Figure out what went wrong & how you can prevent that (if you can). Think about what you do want.

 

Meanwhile purge the mementos. Surround yourself with supportive friends & family. Keep busy.

[TheBetterPerson]

Thank you.

Its weird as when i moved out for the first 3 months i was actually fine, i heard from him a lot though, he was always messaging me. Then he told me he was getting with people (so cruel) and then its really hit me and its annoying as i was doing so well

[JFReyes]

How did get through your 5 years of NC and healing?

 

thank you in advance.

K

I wasn't able to maintain complete NC always because we had financial affairs in common, but communication was businesslike. The first year was tough. After the first year I started dating again and soon enough met my current girlfriend; since then it was a lot easier but I still think of my ex from time to time. A 10 year relationship takes up a lot of one's life and is therefore impossible to forget. While I wish her the best (she is still alone) I don't miss her.