Why are women told "don't initiate, approach, a man?" We have to go by this?

[Dodgersfan11]

So, if I’m out somewhere and there are guys, I’m not supposed to check them out? I remember when I was in high school, my friend had a crush on this guy and so me and her went to his workplace just to see him, well my brother heard about this and told me that it’s desperate to do this. And I think it is now. I don’t even look at guys, ignore them and unless they check me out first, I check them out

[snowboy91]

So, if I’m out somewhere and there are guys, I’m not supposed to check them out? I remember when I was in high school, my friend had a crush on this guy and so me and her went to his workplace just to see him, well my brother heard about this and told me that it’s desperate to do this. And I think it is now. I don’t even look at guys, ignore them and unless they check me out first, I check them out

 

Again, high school, people are harsh at that time in life (see my previous comment). Your brother has a point, but only because you chased him to his workplace. Chasing a crush to their workplace is a little stalker-like, but it's going to be stalker-like whether it's the girl chasing the guy or vice versa. It doesn't mean women shouldn't chase men, it means people shouldn't harass their crushes at their workplace (keep in mind all the girls working at bars, restaurants etc that keep getting harassed!). I'm sure you would get annoyed if someone who had a crush on you just kept rocking up at your workplace to distract you.

 

On the flip side, if you're just at a bar or social gathering then it's a completely different story. Of course you can check guys out - it's completely natural. Someone is always going to have a negative opinion about your actions - you just need to listen to the ones that don't

[snowcones]

You're a trip, OP. lol

 

 

Do whatever you want. Just don't try to force other women to not be chased. Let them do what they want too.

[Serotonine]

Why Men Love Bitches is a best selling book for a reason.

 

Why do you need a book for this?The answer is very simple and you know it.

[Redhead14]

.....? Isn't it the same in reverse, then?

 

Whatever your "approach" to dating is, a level of balance needs to be maintained so that neither party feels like they are "doing all the work" nor feels like they don't have to do anything -- i.e. if the woman initiates a first date, she sits back and lets him initiate another date if he wants one. She can initiate the next if she wants also, but then she does need to let him have an opportunity to initiate. Balance is the key.

[Wallysbears]

Why do you need a book for this?The answer is very simple and you know it.

 

I'm not dating.

 

That book was popular years ago when I was single.

 

And it can help women who struggle to understand why they wind up with weak men when they are the ones that do the chasing.

[preraph]

You don't have to. A judicial balance is key. There are reasons you want to adhere to the old cliche for the most part. One is if you're forward, the guy may assume you are ready right now to sleep with him or any number of guys and won't trust you. The other is, and this is the one that entrapped me, do it with the wrong guys and you end up with a bunch of gutless wonders who are boring and can't initiate a freakin complaint phone call to AT&T over a phone bill. So you have to know when and who to do it with and to what degree. I recommend really knowing something about the guy first so you don't end up with someone who has no social acumen.

[Woggle]

There is no law against women approaching. People will always have their opinion but who cares about that? With the way things are going women are going to have to do most of the approaching.