Sissy1966 Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 Was divorce for about 9 months which was a mutual decision. We started dating again after which he was with several other women in the time we were apart. Did find our he had cheated on me while we were married. We are now dating and I just found out he was sleeping with another women at the gym. Should I give up on this relationship? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gcp Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 I'll tell you my 2 different experiences. First experience: We dated for a little over a year, broke up due to differences in hobbies and interests, just weren't that compatible in that area. Got back together a few weeks later and lasted another 2 years but the same things came back up. Our lives went different directions and we split for good. Second Experience: Dated a girl who just left an on/off relationship that she said lasted a year. We dated for a month. She went back to her on/off ex for 2 months then broke up with him. Contacted me and we dated again for another 6 months and she left me for him AGAIN. Now if you look at it, neither me getting back with her or her getting back with him has worked. This is their 3rd time getting back together and there was literally no time to herself going from me back to him so I don't imagine things will be different for them this time around. I am starting to see that if the issues can't be resolved or worked on while STILL IN THE RELATIONSHIP then its rare that they get fixed when trying again. Break ups happen for a reason, they suck, they hurt and going back seems like a good idea when you are hurting, and it may be great for a while, but once the butterflies fade, you're back where you were right before you broke up the first time. Now I don't want to sound cynical because my experiences haven't worked out, and there are some cases where people split, get back to who they are, do some personal growth, and return a better version of themselves and start with a clean slate. But I don't think that is the norm. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 Yes you should give up on this relationship. He cheated on you DURING your marriage. He's catted around for 9 months since you have been divorced. You are dating again & he's having sex with a woman from the gym. You know about her but there are probably others you don't know about. He is not a one woman man. Unless you are into having a open marriage, this is not your guy. He does not believe in fidelity, exclusivity or monogamy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 Was divorce for about 9 months which was a mutual decision. We started dating again after which he was with several other women in the time we were apart. Did find our he had cheated on me while we were married. We are now dating and I just found out he was sleeping with another women at the gym. Should I give up on this relationship? He seems like he is prone to infidelity. That doesn't bode well for any hopes of a solid relationship. Perhaps you should talk to a therapist to see why you would want to reconsider a relationship with someone that is a serial cheater. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 Was divorce for about 9 months which was a mutual decision. We started dating again after which he was with several other women in the time we were apart. Did find our he had cheated on me while we were married. We are now dating and I just found out he was sleeping with another women at the gym. Should I give up on this relationship? No. He isn't going to stop wanting the strange. Why are you still seeing him after divorce and his cheating? Wasn't once enough? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
changingmale Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 I am all for separated or divorced couples getting back together. Happens more than you think and know. But if he cheated on you during the marriage and still cheating by being with her and you. I would not if you do think long and hard good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 16, 2018 Share Posted December 16, 2018 Yes, you should absolutely give up on this relaitonship. I have no idea why you would consider otherwise, to be frank. Your marriage had problems long before you divorced. He hasn't changed. He still wants other women. There is no future here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SunFeel Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 Yes they can depending on the breakup but your situation is one you need to move on from you can do better Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted December 24, 2018 Share Posted December 24, 2018 I honestly don't believe so. if they gave up on you once they can give up on you again and you know that at literally any moment they might decide they have had enough and walk, cos they have already done it one. how could it ever be a trusting relationship again? any unresolved issues you had will still be there. better to just focus on finding someone new than rekindle things will someone who already walked out on you. Link to post Share on other sites
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