Uncertain about how to continue

[OngoingThoughts]

Ex and I broke up last spring after 1 year RS. Her decision. Things were uncertain & complicated for a while and we still had contact which made things messy (see earlier posts).

 

We spent summer apart in NC which we agreed upon. After summer she texted me. We had contact & met a few times but nothing physically. We agreed to just see where it went. Though in my mind I think I already envisioned reconciliation. Eventually it got too hard for me because she wanted to see where things went with us being in contact again & was not necessary trying to get back with me. I on the other hand expected too much so I broke it off after a few weeks because I felt like I wanted a RS more than she did. I regretted breaking it off afterwards because maybe I had acted too rash but I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt again.

 

We spent about 5 weeks NC again. This week we accidentally bumped into each other. We spent a while together talking & laughing. Both smiling from seeing each other. The other day I texted her and we had coffee & it was just very relax and low key.

 

Now she is a beautiful girl & has lots of people wanting her. I don't believe she is together with someone at the moment though. But I'm not sure what this coffee drinking is supposed to be. She knows my feelings for her last time were too strong, but still she agreed to meet me after bumping into each other. This time it is different because I'm not expecting anything from her RS wise. At least not yet. I am worried that once we get more frequent contact, I'll start to expect things again which she cannot provide. But I guess that works the same way as when you're dating someone new.

 

I believe I worked hard on the things which caused the earlier problems in the relationship. Even got some help for that. So those issues should be mostly resolved.

 

I guess is am asking for advice on how to approach this. What would you guys do? Do I continue to text and see her & try to see where things go this time in a slow pace? Or should I just let it go. The truth is that after all this time my feelings for her are still there.

 

Thanks for reading.

Edited December 14, 2018 by OngoingThoughts

[d0nnivain]

She's offering friendship. You want romance. She has no intention of reconciling with you. She's stringing you along, sopping up the attention & playing you by postponing conversations about getting back together. As long as you let her call all the shots you will be miserable, longing for something you can't have. Rather than proving to her that you are loyal & loving person, by hanging around & accepting her crumbs you will be proving to her that you have little value as a partner because you are not standing up for yourself.

 

In your shoes, I'd ask to meet then tell her straight up -- I want to get back together. If she balks, you walk. It's as simple as that.