Not sure if this meetup person flakedout or was mad that I d

[Dodgersfan11]

I didn’t want to carpool with her? This meetup person was in one of my meetup groups and posted a message about how she wanted to make new friends so I messaged her and said that I was also wanting to make new friends, I told her I was going to an event tonight and then she said that she was thinking about going and asked me what part of town do I live at, and asked me if I wanted to go together, I’m assuming she was asking if she wants to ride together, I didn’t want to do that, because I don’t know her and she’s a stranger, so I suggested to meet up there, I messaged her 3 times and she never responded, then at the last minute she rsvpd that she wasn’t going. Was she mad because I didn’t want to drive together? And why flake out?

Edited December 14, 2018 by Dodgersfan11

[alphamale]

she flaked out because men aren't supposed to be afraid of women

[alphamale]

i'm assuming you're a man

[elaine567]

Dodgersfan as far as I am aware is a 36yo woman.

[alphamale]

Dodgersfan as far as I am aware is a 36yo woman.

 

I see, then I retract my statement

[Dodgersfan11]

I just thought that was rude of her to not me know she wasn't going. Why bother to tell me she's going then at the last minute change her rsvp?

[Dodgersfan11]

I guess I would have felt more comfortable going with someone, since the meetup tonight was for drinks/happy hour and like 16 guys rsvp'd which would have been the perfect opportunity for me to meet guys or at least have some male conversations

[CC12]

I just thought that was rude of her to not me know she wasn't going. Why bother to tell me she's going then at the last minute change her rsvp?

 

Did she actually tell you that she was going? The way you described it, she just expressed interest in going with you and you didn't agree to that. Doesn't sound like she flaked out on plans at all. Plans were never made.

 

She wanted to go with someone, rather than show up alone. It's understandable. You said you were also going, but not with her, so she has no idea whether you'd ignore her all night or arrive/leave before or after her. It would basically be her going alone, for all she knew, and that's not what she was looking for. I don't think she was rude.

 

Just curious, why didn't you want to ride there with her?

[basil67]

She wasn't asking if you wanted to ride together, she wanted to meet you there. I'm wondering *exactly* what you said to her in response

[stillafool]

She probably got a better offer or a date so she flaked.

[Gretchen12]

She said she was thinking about going. Maybe she decided on other plans. That's not flaking out.

[Dodgersfan11]

She wasn't asking if you wanted to ride together, she wanted to meet you there. I'm wondering *exactly* what you said to her in response

 

She asked me what part of town I lived at, and asked, "do you want to go together?" Since she posted a public comment in one of the other groups that I'm in, and was saying that she wanted to make new friends and that anyone can directly message her on the app to chat, I messaged her and said that I was going to an event, she then said, "maybe I'll join you." So, a few days later, she rsvpd, then at the last minute changed it. I responded to her to what part of town I lived it, and that we can meet up there, I then asked her if she was familiar with the area. Then, I told her that I wasn't going , no response from her after 3 messages. I'm like wtf? Yeah, maybe she decided to not go at all or even a "better offer." But to NOT respond at all and say something back is rude. I mean, she posted a public comment that she was looking for new friends.

[stillafool]

She asked me what part of town I lived at, and asked, "do you want to go together?" Since she posted a public comment in one of the other groups that I'm in, and was saying that she wanted to make new friends and that anyone can directly message her on the app to chat, I messaged her and said that I was going to an event, she then said, "maybe I'll join you." So, a few days later, she rsvpd, then at the last minute changed it. I responded to her to what part of town I lived it, and that we can meet up there, I then asked her if she was familiar with the area. Then, I told her that I wasn't going , no response from her after 3 messages. I'm like wtf? Yeah, maybe she decided to not go at all or even a "better offer." But to NOT respond at all and say something back is rude. I mean, she posted a public comment that she was looking for new friends.

 

When you said you weren't going she probably found another friend and just didn't respond back to you because she no longer needed you. Oh well, forget about it.

[alphamale]

She probably got a better offer or a date so she flaked.

 

or maybe she decided to wash her hair?

[Dodgersfan11]

or maybe she decided to wash her hair?

 

Of course not, she decided to clip her toenails.

[Kamille]

She asked me what part of town I lived at, and asked, "do you want to go together?" Since she posted a public comment in one of the other groups that I'm in, and was saying that she wanted to make new friends and that anyone can directly message her on the app to chat, I messaged her and said that I was going to an event, she then said, "maybe I'll join you." So, a few days later, she rsvpd, then at the last minute changed it. I responded to her to what part of town I lived it, and that we can meet up there, I then asked her if she was familiar with the area. Then, I told her that I wasn't going , no response from her after 3 messages. I'm like wtf? Yeah, maybe she decided to not go at all or even a "better offer." But to NOT respond at all and say something back is rude. I mean, she posted a public comment that she was looking for new friends.

 

You told her you weren't going? So why are you upset that she also decided not to go? It sounds like she wanted to go with you and, since you decided not to go, she also cancelled.

 

People are not glued to their phones. It's (quite) possible she was doing something else, hence the reason your messages went unanswered.

 

As for her being mad: that's conjecture on your part. Let it go. If you really cancelled on her as you said in this post, then you're the one who flaked. That means you would owe her an apology, not the other way around.

[CC12]

She asked me what part of town I lived at, and asked, "do you want to go together?" Since she posted a public comment in one of the other groups that I'm in, and was saying that she wanted to make new friends and that anyone can directly message her on the app to chat, I messaged her and said that I was going to an event, she then said, "maybe I'll join you." So, a few days later, she rsvpd, then at the last minute changed it. I responded to her to what part of town I lived it, and that we can meet up there, I then asked her if she was familiar with the area. Then, I told her that I wasn't going , no response from her after 3 messages. I'm like wtf? Yeah, maybe she decided to not go at all or even a "better offer." But to NOT respond at all and say something back is rude. I mean, she posted a public comment that she was looking for new friends.

 

She rsvp'd to the event, not directly to you, right? So she really never did make any plans with you. She actually tried to make plans with you and you said no. You even ended up telling her that you weren't going.

 

It would have been nicer if she had responded to you, but strangers don't owe you anything. She very well could have decided to wash her hair or trim her toenails instead, and she has every right to. Just because she posted a public comment that she was looking for new friends doesn't mean she has to make friends with everyone who messages her. You are expecting too much from strangers. Adjust your expectations and you won't be so upset/annoyed when they don't respond the way you'd like them to.

[Dodgersfan11]

She rsvp'd to the event, not directly to you, right? So she really never did make any plans with you. She actually tried to make plans with you and you said no. You even ended up telling her that you weren't going.

 

It would have been nicer if she had responded to you, but strangers don't owe you anything. She very well could have decided to wash her hair or trim her toenails instead, and she has every right to. Just because she posted a public comment that she was looking for new friends doesn't mean she has to make friends with everyone who messages her. You are expecting too much from strangers. Adjust your expectations and you won't be so upset/annoyed when they don't respond the way you'd like them to.

 

No, actually After responded to her, I told her that we could meet up in the area and asked if she has ever been to the venue. You know like carrying a basic conversation, she never responded to that. Then the next day like 3 hours before the meet up, I saw that she changed her rsvp to not going and didn’t bother to have the coming courtesy to just let me know after I messaged her. I then sent a finally message that I wasn’t going. Yeah, it would have been nicer if she would have responded to my earlier messages.