maripsv Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 My boyfriend with whom I have a history of almost 4 years broke up with me. Says he doesn’t love me in a romantic way anymore, the attraction/sparks are gone. That’s all really weird because he’s always been so crazy about me, he would do anything for us to be together. He also says he knows the feelings are there somewhere and that he knows they can come back, but he also does not feel ready to settle, and he feels like he is settling right now because we just started living together. He is 25 so he’s been with me for almost all his “youth”. He also kind of cheated on me, he’s been on Tinder talking to people for a while now, says that was his outlet, that he needed to feel some “excitement” or whatever. Guess he wants to play the field, to be with other girls. I know that in the long run this will be better for me because he has been treating me so bad, being annoyed at everything I did. When he’s away, he doesn’t miss me and told me he doesn’t have the urge to talk to me. He said many hurtful things, but he was “being honest”. I wasn’t happy anymore, I was miserable and drowning in anxiety because I knew he was gone and I was forcing someone to be with me. But it’s so hard. We have been in NC for 10 days and although some days are better than others, it’s been so hard today. I dreamed he called and that we met again and it just broke my heart when I woke up. I want to call him, know what he’s doing, just want this to pass Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 The pain will pass but not quickly He has looked into his future & he's just not ready to settle down. The step of moving in together made him think life was passing him by & the idea of never being with another woman again other than you freaked him out. He's not ready to deal with happily ever after so he's running for day light. All you can do is let him. Meanwhile take some time to grieve. Tears are cathartic. Let them out. Don't try to mask what you are feeling to spare others. Do try not to cry all day on Christmas but you don't have to fake happy. Lean in supportive friends & family. Know that as acute as the pain is right now, it will subside. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 Have you ever dated any other guys besides your ex boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author maripsv Posted December 15, 2018 Author Share Posted December 15, 2018 @stillafool No, he was my first boyfriend. I had flings before but he was my first serious relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 I know this hurts and most of us have been there. Breaking up with your first love has got to be one of the hardest. However, you will heal and you too owe it to yourself to meet and date other guys before you meet the man you will marry. Let your ex go, stop snooping on him and start living your new life. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 15, 2018 Share Posted December 15, 2018 he was my first serious relationship. It's small comfort right now, but he won't be your last serious BF nor was he your happily ever after, 'til death do us part guy. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 16, 2018 Share Posted December 16, 2018 I'm sorry it's such a sad time for you. It sounds like he hasn't been all that great to you lately, though. He's looking around and in the meantime, as if that wasn't bad enough, he's also treating you bad. Let him go and don't take him back. You're young and you can find other guys. Link to post Share on other sites
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