He said "I don´t want a relationship" now - but acted/talked like it for months!!?

[elaine567]

What if i go on a date and post a picture of a guy and his arm + 2 wine-glasses with the text "Datenight " ????

There is a guy wanting to give me a drink or so soon and get to know me a bit. I dont think im that interested but to try to make "my ex" jealous and regret his dismissal + hurry to get me back im willing to do almost anything!

What do you think of this ideá? Please help! He is so special for me <3

 

 

No, no and no.

He dumped you, he made it perfectly clear he is not into you and doesn't want a relationship with you, so why would he care if you are dating someone else?

Not nice to just use some poor guy either... some guy who may actually be into you.

[stillafool]

Since this guy has made it clear he is not interested in you why don't you get to know the guy who wants to take you out for a drink. He be the one to give you the attention you seek.

[aSadGirl]

He's not interested, OP.

 

Sure, he's curious and looks at what you post. Many on social media do this. Given that he hasn't been in touch, though, I wouldn't take it as anything more than just that - curiosity.

 

Since you asked, what you're doing wrong is putting the cart before the horse and getting attached too quickly. You seem to build up a fantasy love story that is out of proportion with the reality of the situation. Heck, you're calling this guy the love of your life when you've only been on two dates with him. It's too much, and the guys you go out with probably sense this and back away.

 

What have your therapists recommended, and have you followed their suggestions?

 

Thanks for your response, you acutally got a point...

 

ive been trying to build on myself.. my 30th birthday was yesterday and he actually texted me 2PM on my facebook wall:

 

"Big Congratulations on your day MyName "

no exlamation mark

 

I replied a day later (as to many) with liking his post ( i do this with all congratulations)

+ saying

"Thanks HisName "

 

I dont know is this was the right thing to do. He stopped watching my stories for some days but now he started doing it again..

 

and to be honest i added him back on snapchat and he never removed me so it wasnt "a big deal" but its gonna be easier for me to choose what i show him now instead of showing "everything to every of my firends" cause in snapchat there is a feautre where you can select who is seeing the story without them knowing....

 

anyway i really hope i did the right thing in replieing like this.. i regret i didnt write "thanks" and not liking the post though, this "Thanks HisName " + liking the post was a bit too much,but i cant change it now can i.

i hope he feels im "ok" so if he has doubts and wants to contact me he can feel the door is more open now... but not so open that im "desperate after him" rather he has to chase me if he´s gonna talk more...

 

 

 

 

 

Since this guy has made it clear he is not interested in you why don't you get to know the guy who wants to take you out for a drink. He be the one to give you the attention you seek.

 

 

I went on that date with the other guy, i didnt feel anything.. it felt very casual , almost like a job interview, he is a "hierer" for companies so perhaps that was it. I felt no spark/attraction towards him still we ate fancy dinner at a restaurant and he asked me to play pool but it was closed, then he asked me to drink wine at his place but i gently declined saying i had to go home to get up early, he said its ok and said it would be fun to meet another time... this was saturday, now its thursday and he havent reached out and neither has he but i dont care since im not interested and dont think about him at all except for now that i reply to your text. He havent even congratulated me on my birthday (i in case he was interested expected from him on my facebook at least! casue he knew i was turning 30 in a couple of days from the date)...

so nah, i dont care about him, but im positively surprised this guy i want i dated a couple of months i speak about in my thread wished me

 

"Big Congratulations on your day MyName " it felt nice he did that... i replied "Thanks HisName " and liked his post, dont know if it was too much but nevermind..

 

i got 300 "friends" on facebook but only 20 congratulated me and 10 on my phone/messenger.. it sucks.. i expected at least 50 birthdaywishes but i guess im not so loved lol...

[ExpatInItaly]

Him wishing you a happy birthday was kind. Replying to his birthday wishes was kind, too. However, it does not make any difference to your situation with him. Don't worry about whether it was the "right" thing to do. He isn't giving as much thought as you are, so there is no point stressing about it.

 

Also, don't put so much stock into FB birthday wishes. Most people don't really pay attention to a birthday notification since they likely see them everyday and get tired of the obligatory "happy birthday" message. I'm on FB but barely ever log in, so if I'm being honest, nobody gets a birthday wish from me there. It doesn't mean people like you any less. The people who are genuine friends were the ones who reached out.

[Lisa_Lisa]

You should read the book, "F*ck him!: Nice Girls Always Finish Single by Brian Nox. It's a great book. I highly recommend you read it over and over again.

 

 

You want to win him back? Confidence is key. Always and always. You basically have to do the exact opposite of what you're doing now.

 

 

Good luck