Is my Mom judgmental when it comes to my gfs' weight?

[stillafool]

Well I do I find her attractive, and didn't think I had a problem. I mean not to sound like I am giving out too much detail, but it's not like I have any problems getting erections from her so I must find her attractive therefore, right?

 

 

This is all that needs to be said to your mother. "I think she's pretty". Case closed. After that I would no longer respond about my gf. As long as you think she's pretty that is all that matters.

[gaius]

If your goal is to be a director in hollywood having a fat girlfriend isn't going to help you in the slightest. They'll look at you like you've got 2 heads. Don't think there's a more looks obsessed culture anywhere on earth.

 

Your mom might be trying to look out for you. Not that fat people can't make good partners, but it's preferable to have someone that can manage their weight. No picnic being fat. Can invite all kinds of problems. Like with the movie thing, it's ultimately up to you to decide whether this girl is the right one for you or not. Don't blame your mom for at least having a conversation about it though.

[Trojan]

Perhaps your mom doesn't think overweight women are attractive or worthy. Has your mother ever struggled with weight issues herself? Maybe she wants you to date a model... IDK. Ask her and found out the reason behind it.

[FMW]

Good grief.

 

Not all "thin" women have the same tastes in men - looks, sense of humor, etc.

 

Not all "fat" women have the same tastes.

 

You connect with who you connect with. It's not that "thin" women don't get you, it's that the person you happen to connect with is NOT thin. Most definitely, if you think you can "do better" or that she falls short compared to your friends' girlfriends, do the girl a favor, let her go find someone who doesn't wonder if he's settling with her, and go find a "thin" girl you can show off to your mom and friends.

 

I know that's not really what you're saying OP, but it's where this conversation seems to be devolving.

 

Stop worrying about what your mom (or anyone else) thinks.

[ironpony]

If your goal is to be a director in hollywood having a fat girlfriend isn't going to help you in the slightest. They'll look at you like you've got 2 heads. Don't think there's a more looks obsessed culture anywhere on earth.

 

Your mom might be trying to look out for you. Not that fat people can't make good partners, but it's preferable to have someone that can manage their weight. No picnic being fat. Can invite all kinds of problems. Like with the movie thing, it's ultimately up to you to decide whether this girl is the right one for you or not. Don't blame your mom for at least having a conversation about it though.

 

I was told this before by a couple of other people as well. Do you think this is true though, that my career goals are effected by having this type of relationship? Do people in the business actually care that much about the worker's private life image to this extent?

[stillafool]

Well I do I find her attractive, and didn't think I had a problem. I mean not to sound like I am giving out too much detail, but it's not like I have any problems getting erections from her so I must find her attractive therefore, right?

 

 

 

You know if you can't describe your attraction to her better than the above let her go. You are sounding as shallow as your mom.

[ironpony]

Perhaps your mom doesn't think overweight women are attractive or worthy. Has your mother ever struggled with weight issues herself? Maybe she wants you to date a model... IDK. Ask her and found out the reason behind it.

 

Yeah my Mom is actually about the same weight as my current gf actually.

 

You know if you can't describe your attraction to her better than the above let her go. You are sounding as shallow as your mom.

 

Well before, on another thread I talked about how I would have trouble getting erections with women I dated before. But with this new gf, I get them no problem and I really like her and enjoy being with her. So I thought it was a sign that she was more special therefore.

[SolG]

How much weight are we talking here OP? Is she within the healthy weight range, but just not modelesquely built? Or is she actually unhealthy? Very different things.

 

I'll probably get flamed for this... but if my daughter brought home a bf that was obviously unhealthily overweight I would be concerned.

 

I would probably wait until I could assess his commitment to his health and fitness. If he showed no motivation I would absolutely have a conversation with her about her thoughts on the potential health and lifestyle implications in the longer-term, and the challenges that may present in a relationship.

[Scarlett94]

How much weight are we talking here OP? Is she within the healthy weight range, but just not modelesquely built? Or is she actually unhealthy? Very different things.

 

I'll probably get flamed for this... but if my daughter brought home a bf that was obviously unhealthily overweight I would be concerned.

 

I would probably wait until I could assess his commitment to his health and fitness. If he showed no motivation I would absolutely have a conversation with her about her thoughts on the potential health and lifestyle implications in the longer-term, and the challenges that may present in a relationship.

 

SolG How have you been? I don't want to TJ and I can't PM you so perhaps you could post an update thread? I'm fascinated by your life