Meeting woman, dating, fun, self esteem - improvement

[vee123]

I've been single for over a year but remained in contact with my ex until about a month or two ago.. which has likely stunted my moving on. I've been out of the dating scene for about 10 years and I'm in my late 30s.

 

I would like to get into a new relationship with the right woman. I can't see that happening anytime soon, in the meantime I wouldn't mind having 'fun' with ladies I find attractive but not quite gf material, but not sure if I meet that criteria for woman to have 'fun' with... usually Alphas or highly attractive guys get that perk.

 

For example last Friday I met an woman 10 years my senior(she looked younger) whom I found out has 3 children, who had a bit of a crush on me in the past, she approached me. First time we went out she was saying she was looking for an relationship, asking what I'm looking for, etc. I said I'm not currently looking for an relationship but looking to see how things go. At the end of the night we kissed. We met up a few days later, similar thing happened. Then she texted me yesterday saying that we should be friends as we both want different things, etc. I didn't reply and then she texted me to say she didn't want to be friends and asked me to delete her number etc.

 

I'm not really meeting many woman and I think that it doesn't help that I also have my own self esteem issues (crooked teeth - contemplating getting braces but feel too old/short in height). I'm a introvert and unfortunately would probably fall towards beta qualities (quiet, sensitive, empathetic) and I'm quite passive. I'm also starting to get out of shape (not massively) due to an injury that has kept me out the gym for over a year.

 

I've been on OLD and occasionally I get matches. I never know what to say so I say to myself I'll message in a day or 2 and then I never end up messaging them, plus I used to be talking to the ex. I still want to message the matches but some were so long ago now I think it would just be weird. By the way, I've never matched with somebody who I would say would be my ideal partner looks wise, but I have matched with women I find attractive.

 

Ultimately, I would like to meet the 'one' settle down and have a family. The thing is I can't envision meeting the 'one' right now, I think the type of woman I find attractive probably wouldn't be interested in me.. but I don't know for sure as I don't really attempt to get them.

[PRW]

I would like to get into a new relationship with the right woman. I can't see that happening anytime soon,

If you can't "see it",...then it won't.

 

I wouldn't mind having 'fun' with ladies I find attractive but not quite gf material, but not sure if I meet that criteria for woman to have 'fun' with... usually Alphas or highly attractive guys get that perk.

Alpha isn't the only type out there.

Alpha is not something you are born as. It is a mixture of natural characteristics and learned behavor.

Women also don't place as much weight on appearance. Appearance only helps get your foot in the door sooner. Some women are suspicious of very good looking men because they think they might just be players. They are attracted to confidence and how you present yourself.

 

Then she texted me yesterday saying that we should be friends as we both want different things, etc.

That is the normal thing they say when they just simply don't want to date you. Your negative "vibe" that I perceive from you in this message probably was clear to see when she was with you, and as expected, it turned her off.

I didn't reply and then she texted me to say she didn't want to be friends and asked me to delete her number etc.

That is because you didn't reply,...that makes you look really bad.

 

I'm not really meeting many woman and I think that it doesn't help that I also have my own self esteem issues (crooked teeth - contemplating getting braces but feel too old/short in height). I'm a introvert and unfortunately would probably fall towards beta qualities (quiet, sensitive, empathetic) and I'm quite passive. I'm also starting to get out of shape (not massively) due to an injury that has kept me out the gym for over a year.

More negativity. You are saying, "Don't date me, I'm not worthy".

 

I've been on OLD and occasionally I get matches. I never know what to say so I say to myself I'll message in a day or 2 and then I never end up messaging them, plus I used to be talking to the ex. I still want to message the matches but some were so long ago now I think it would just be weird. By the way, I've never matched with somebody who I would say would be my ideal partner looks wise, but I have matched with women I find attractive.

That sounds like Tinder,...not OLD.

 

Ultimately, I would like to meet the 'one' settle down and have a family.

The myth of "The One".

You need to focus on self-improvment and learning how to date and maintain a decent dating relationship first. Get Corey Wayne's book "How to be a 3% Man". Then memorize it.

 

 

[elaine567]

 

For example last Friday I met an woman 10 years my senior(she looked younger) whom I found out has 3 children, who had a bit of a crush on me in the past, she approached me. First time we went out she was saying she was looking for an relationship, asking what I'm looking for, etc. I said I'm not currently looking for an relationship but looking to see how things go. At the end of the night we kissed. We met up a few days later, similar thing happened. Then she texted me yesterday saying that we should be friends as we both want different things, etc. I didn't reply and then she texted me to say she didn't want to be friends and asked me to delete her number etc..

 

 

She said upfront she is looking for a relationship and you said you were not looking for a relationship so where exactly did you think that was going to go?

Did you really think she was going to waste her time having "fun" with you or becoming your BFF?

If you truly wanted to date her, with the intention of forming a relationship, then say so and forget the wishy washy "Let's see how things go" - that is what players and commitmentphobes say... it means "I am not that sure about you as a long term prospect but let's have sex anyway..."

[preraph]

Take this time to fix your teeth. Get Invisiline braces. They're invisible.