NYgages Posted September 14, 2005 Share Posted September 14, 2005 Attempt to anyway. She is a friend and is willing to give sex with me a try. But, she see's it as doing me a favor, not mutual fun. I don't like that one one bit, but (hey I'm a guy) I want to get together anyway. She thinks I'm a very nice, very gentle guy, that apprently doesn't float her boat. When we do soon get together. I'm torn between being the gentle lover she expects (in a bad way) or taking her by storm, not very gentle. Not for one minute would I hurt her. Just thinking about ravaging her and hoping it's to her liking. Whats the best way to do this, and what signs to look for that it's welcome or not. It's already agreed that she will make the 1st move when she is ready, that's to be my signal to take it from there. (she likes being done, not leading) Shoud I ask her? or would that take away from the fun? Link to post Share on other sites
Moai Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 I think no matter what you do it'll be weird. And the more you think about what to do or how to do it the weirder it'll be. What makes it weird is she is doing it as a "favor", so how into it is she? You have got to be in to it and just let it flow, or it won't be very good sex and you'll never be with her again. Oh, and if she said she'll initiate it, I wouldn't hold my breath. You could be waiting until the next ice age before she does anything. If an opportunity with another woman comes up, jump on it (no pun intended). Why wait for someone who sees herself as so bitchin' that sex with her is a favor? Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 Everything Moai said is exactly on the mark. I add that although you shouldn't wait, don't slam the door shut, there is that slight chance you'll get that favor. If you're planning that ravage thing, I'd say don't ask/forwarn her of it, it will give her time to develop her attitude against it. Keep it as an unexpected thing, maybe even say things that make her expect you will be too gentle. BUT, use caution when ravaging....listen for words of true protest. If unsure, stop, say "here's your chance...go home or follow me to the bedroom for more of the same" then swagger away. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 Big red warning flags all over the place. What if this friend of yours ends up feeling completely violated by the "none too gentle" approach that you're considering taking? As for Gold Pile's advice "use caution when ravaging....listen for words of true protest"... For God's sake.... Who are you to decide what constitutes words of "true protest"? Would you honestly be capable of reaching an objective conclusion about that when you're all heated up and ready for sex? Even if you think you would, that doesn't mean a prosecuting lawyer wouldn't be able to rip your reasoning to shreds in minutes were this situation to develop into your worst nightmare. No chance of that? Think again. You and this woman may see eachother as close friends right now, but a shared sexual experience that could very easily leave her feeling disgusted and creeped out by you could change that dramatically. Never mind the "all women fantasise about being taken roughly" stuff and the "treat her mean get her keen" crap this forum gets littered with. Some women go for the "rough, bad boy" thing...others can't stand it. Some are happy for a specific man to take that approach, but would be revolted and frightened by someone they weren't attracted to adopting it. You've never slept with this particular woman so you don't have the sexual knowledge of her to know what floats her boat. All you know is that you don't, and it's extremely dangerous to believe that taking her "none too gently" is likely to alter that. Do yourself a big favour. Set your sights on someone who'll be less equivocal about the prospect of having sex with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 Linda makes very good points. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 15, 2005 Share Posted September 15, 2005 If you want some rough sex, hire yourself a prostitute who specializes in that. It would be beyond stupid to 'ravage' your friend this way without warning. I have known people to discuss potential sexual activity in depth before they ever laid hand on one another. Each confessed fantasies, wishes, and dislikes. And were *very* pleased with the encounter afterward because each knew what the other wanted and disliked. Maybe she is one of those women (and it is an indisputable fact that NOT all women 'like it rough') who likes it rough but to just assume it in advance would be idiotic on your part and could, as lindya points out, end you up in trouble with the law. Don't be a moron. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 HELLO PEOPLE!!! I dont think he means 'beat the **** outta the girl, or rape her' by ravage. You people have never had animalistic intense sex before? What its all gotta be good clean fun? You dont have to smack her head off the wall or tear off her clothes to ravage her. Just take control when (and if) she initiates something. You can pin her hands above her head(slowly dont slam them there) and tease her with kisses(the side of the mouth is always fun) You know stuff like that. Control of the situation is sexy, im a real wuss. Im not so good at picking up women, but once they let me in watch out For me personally I like to go slow and take my time, but you gotta mix it up too. Vary intensity, go from picking her up and wrapping her legs around her while kissing her, so slowly laying her down and torturing her by 'almost' kissing sensitive areas (and there are ALOT of them) Anyways, just enjoy yourself. Show her that you arnt the meat and potato nice guy she probably thinks you are. er....research the G-spot a bit too, you'd be VERY suprised at how many guys dont know about that. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Oh and watch and listen to her. If she seems uncomfortable with sometihng your doing slowdown/not so hard/stop doing it. Thats the best way to make it a memorable time. Because if you can read her body language properly you can give her what she wants how she wants, and she will never forget it And dont jump the gun either. Forplay tends to be a casualty to over enthusiasm. Explore her body, womens bodies are chalked full of all sorts of erogenous zones, you might even discover spots she didnt know were there. (back of the knees/inner thigh/lower back/earlobes/nape of the neck/ect) Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 You people have never had animalistic intense sex before? Again, that's not to everyone's taste. You can pin her hands above her head I knew someone once that got very stressed about any sort of confinement. Link to post Share on other sites
NYgages Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 the advice here. Thank You Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 HELLO PEOPLE!!! I dont think he means 'beat the **** outta the girl, or rape her' I don't think that's his intention either. However, I don't know the Original Poster and I don't know the woman he's considering "ravaging" - so it's impossible to know whether his unexpected "none too gentle" approach would be received positively. You people have never had animalistic intense sex before? What its all gotta be good clean fun? If two people don't have a strong sexual chemistry between them but are determined to sleep with eachother nonetheless, good clean fun is probably the best starting point. You can't really manufacture intense passion - and can be embarrassing when people try to. If the good clean fun does quite nicely for both of them, then they might do it again - and who knows...a spark may grow, and things can become more intense. Right now, however, that spark doesn't seem to be there. Show her that you arnt the meat and potato nice guy she probably thinks you are. And his friend could feel as if the delightful golden retriever living next door has suddenly started growling and snapping because it secretly wishes it was a Dobermann. Link to post Share on other sites
sanne Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 yea you definitely shouldn't "ravage" a woman the very first time you have sex with her. you have to feel her out and know her boundaries and take things from there, otherwise your in for a very unpleasant night. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Instead of risking being too rough, I suggest you go down on her instead. Do that well enough, and she'll think "holy sh*t... I had no idea you were so good at that!" Suddenly she'll see you in a totally different light. And probably forget about the idea that she's doing YOU a favour. Link to post Share on other sites
li'l bunny Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 I just want to say that I love being ravaged....!! And I HATE when guys go down on me. It depends how well you know this girl. I would say start off slow and see how she feels, how turned on she is. Usually girls don't like being ravaged unless they're turned on. (my opinion) Once you're both getting hot and sweaty you can turn it all up a notch. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 The word, by the way, is 'ravish'. 'Ravage' has an unpleasant connotation. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 The word, by the way, is 'ravish'. 'Ravage' has an unpleasant connotation. Shall we decide that this is a Freudian slip, Outcast? Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 The word, by the way, is 'ravish'. 'Ravage' has an unpleasant connotation. A friend of mine used to always say "I'm ravished" when she meant "I'm famished." Here's a comprehensive definition from some online dictionary (I didn't check which one." "To ravage is to destroy or lay waste: The storms ravaged the wood, uprooting many trees. To ravish is to seize and carry off by force, and hence to rape (which originally meant carrying off a woman with the aim of forcing her to have sex): The dog was living wild and farmers feared it could ravage their flocks. From this bad 'carrying off' sense came the good one of 'transporting' with delight: The visitors were ravished by the beauty of the landscape before them." Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Instead of risking being too rough, I suggest you go down on her instead. Just don't "picture lions at the kill" while you're at it! (Sorry NYgages - couldn't resist ) Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 A friend of mine used to always say "I'm ravished" when she meant "I'm famished." I have, on more than one occasion, had to stop myself from saying 'I'm ravishing' when I actually meant 'I'm ravenous'. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 I have, on more than one occasion, had to stop myself from saying 'I'm ravishing' when I actually meant 'I'm ravenous'. I've done it accidentally on purpose, in an attempt to fish for compliments. It didn't work though Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 Reminds me of a scene from Blackadder: The Prince: Honestly Blackadder, I don't know why I'm bothering to get dressed. The moment I get to the Naughty Hellfire club, I'll be brutally radished for non-payment of debts. Blackadder: Radished, sir? The Prince: Yes, that's when they take a fellow, pull his britches down, and stick a large radish up his -- Blackadder: Yes, yes, thank you sir. No need to hammer it home. The Prince: Actually, sometimes they do hammer it -- Blackadder: No, NO! Link to post Share on other sites
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