My boyfriend is too posessive

[lexina]

I would not want my partner being in contact with people he had slept with but that's just me.

[sabaton]

He wanted me to block every guy I slept with off social media. Every single social media outlet and phone number. He says loyalty is big to him. The guys I slept with ; some of them are flings. He even pushed me to tell my ex who I stopped being friends with some time ago that I was dating him, so any doors wouldn’t open up again. I am so loyal but he doesn’t seem to trust me unless I do the things he wants me to in terms of that. I am friends with some of the guys and don’t want any negative drama if I see them at social events (which I do) I didn’t want to block them and cause any negative weird energy in case we see each other. He should be able to trust me... I did end up blocking all of them.

 

Then tonight, a guy I ended it with a month ago, came back in the picture to apologize. He said I’m an amazing girl and he’d love another chance with me and that he was just scared. This was on Snapchat, I forgot to block him on there, but I told my boyfriend and he was next to me. I told him I wanna hear what he has to say because I want closure too. Then I said I was seeing someone and I am happy and I understand and appreciate him for telling me all this, but I must block him out of respect to my boyfriend..

I didn’t want to block him because I see him out and about and I don’t want drama.

 

My boyfriend got mad at me that I wasn’t more head on about it. He said I was too understanding and that I should have been more aggressive with him.

 

Idk what to do. I feel so untrusted for no reason. We all have a past and I feel like he’s being unfair.

 

 

 

 

He has low self-esteem, he's paranoid, he's afraid you're going to cheat on him, he doesn't trust you, and he doesn't believe you're attracted to him. End the relationship with that guy because it's only going to get worse in time and he might reveal himself to be emotionally or physically abusive, if not both.

 

 

Tell him that if he wants to control and own a woman, he's in the wrong Country and Continent.

[Rubix Cubed]

He has low self-esteem, he's paranoid, he's afraid you're going to cheat on him, he doesn't trust you, and he doesn't believe you're attracted to him. End the relationship with that guy because it's only going to get worse in time and he might reveal himself to be emotionally or physically abusive, if not both.

 

 

Tell him that if he wants to control and own a woman, he's in the wrong Country and Continent.

 

Or after reading her other thread this guy wants to date her and she wants to keep her options open and multi-date. You are right that they should end the relationship because no one deserves to be strung along while their "partner" is still looking for her upgrade. If he wasn't so passive aggressive he'd already be gone and by the tone of her posts she'll wonder why when he finally does.

[Giraffe-A]

Guys like this will never be happy until you alianate the world and even then will have more to say about who you think about. That’s what walking on egg shells feels like.

Your social media is yours and so are your friends, your shared memories with exes and your right to closure. He has no right to take anything away from you. If you let him, he will also take your identity and self-worth. You’ve done all of this for him. Will he go see a counselor for his issues?

[loversquarrel]

I think it's a bit of both to blame here. He's obviously making a mistake of trying to work out with someone he likes but he is not compatible with. It's a case of mismatched values which tend to bring out the worst in people. She has a lack of boundaries and respect as well as her own insecurities. He has trust issues and insecurities as well and they are both feeding into each other. Time to call it quits, you both need something the other is unable to give.

 

One thing you should understand though op - you need to either be with someone who is your equivalent (has exs and hookups on social media and not be bothered when these people call - your expectation) or find a way to weed out those you have a past with because if you can't you will more than likely find difficulty in keeping a guy around who is serious about you. Some guys will purposely test you by maintaining pasts of there own, is this something you want to deal with?

[manfrombelow2]

I was having goosebumps all over my body, because your boyfriend's behaviour was EXACTLY mine when I was ignorant and not in my center, which lead to me losing the woman I loved and forced me to learn and grow into a different man like I am today.

 

Well, the fact that you're still making an effort to write about this online to receive insights from people tells me that you STILL want to salvage your relationship and that you still love him, this is something rare and precious because most women would expect their men to already knew about these kinds of things, instead of acting like their "teachers" about this.

 

As a male, I suggest you just send him directly this thread, tell him to read and tell him you still love him and still want to improve this relationship that you two are having together.

 

After that, let's pray that he could really force himself to take a deep look back into himself and start changing things from there. Because, if this status-quo stands still, sooner or later the female (you) will dump the male, and that's the end of a relationship.

 

I wish I had a woman like you, but then again, a man HAS TO fail in order to learn, that's the tragedy.

 

Best of lucks. May God bless you and your relationship.

 

P.S: To ALL GUYS out there, you should take a close and careful look into this topic, because this could happen to anyone, to you and even to experienced guys like me if we are complacent and think we have already mastered it all. Being jealous and possessive is totally weak, beta and feminine behaviour and it CLASHES directly with the woman in your relationship because she would feel unsafe, uncomfortable and unsure of you as well as the relationship, because then it would feel like your woman is dating another woman (which is YOU, the guy), and this scares her in an unconscious level, and the female defense mechanism would then order her to gradually drop her interest level in you, gradually fall out of love with you, and dump you finally. I've seen this a thousand times, and not only once did I ever see an exception. They all STARTED and ENDED the same f**king way.

 

He wanted me to block every guy I slept with off social media. Every single social media outlet and phone number. He says loyalty is big to him. The guys I slept with ; some of them are flings. He even pushed me to tell my ex who I stopped being friends with some time ago that I was dating him, so any doors wouldn’t open up again. I am so loyal but he doesn’t seem to trust me unless I do the things he wants me to in terms of that. I am friends with some of the guys and don’t want any negative drama if I see them at social events (which I do) I didn’t want to block them and cause any negative weird energy in case we see each other. He should be able to trust me... I did end up blocking all of them.

 

Then tonight, a guy I ended it with a month ago, came back in the picture to apologize. He said I’m an amazing girl and he’d love another chance with me and that he was just scared. This was on Snapchat, I forgot to block him on there, but I told my boyfriend and he was next to me. I told him I wanna hear what he has to say because I want closure too. Then I said I was seeing someone and I am happy and I understand and appreciate him for telling me all this, but I must block him out of respect to my boyfriend..

I didn’t want to block him because I see him out and about and I don’t want drama.

 

My boyfriend got mad at me that I wasn’t more head on about it. He said I was too understanding and that I should have been more aggressive with him.

 

Idk what to do. I feel so untrusted for no reason. We all have a past and I feel like he’s being unfair.

Edited January 7, 2019 by thaygiaogiang

[brent878]

If my girlfriend was on snapchat talking to an ex who wanted to reconcile and apologize and her answer was "I want to hear him out" -- I would walk out the door and never speak to her again.

 

What is the matter with you? I am 100% on your boyfriends side. He is a bit controlling asking you to block people but you clearly want to keep your options open.

 

You're being a terrible girlfriend. Sorry.