OJK Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 I felt the need to ask her to delete my contact not because I gave up on 'us' but because she opted him over me. Just like in your case. Isn't it why you are here also because she choose her family over you. It happened to me as well. You might be right, entirely different situations. I still miss her, and yes I thought about contacting her myself but like you said time will tell, if its meant to happen or not. And because of that I can't sit around waiting for her, I have to live my life to the max since I am now in my prime. I may not have this much experience in situations like these, but I really fell for her, there are also things that remind me of her but at the moment its just hard for me but I am coping with it all. Hopefully everything turns out the way you planned and I can wish you the best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TooBad Posted January 3, 2019 Author Share Posted January 3, 2019 Hopefully everything turns out the way you planned and I can wish you the best of luck. Well, that's the thing… I didn't plan for any of this, I didn't plan for much during it, and I'm not planning anything now. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRising8 Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 Hi, I would rather be with someone who is willing to jump fences for me and not with someone who sits on fences and thinks, should I jump or not ? In both our cases, both woman sat on the fences and thought and decided not to jump. I can't just be an option, I have to be someone's priority! Wow, that really resonates! I may make a poster of it to remind myself whenever I forget why it won't work. Thanks for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TooBad Posted January 11, 2019 Author Share Posted January 11, 2019 So.. .Small update. Haven't heard from her. Didn't expect to, and it's fine. I did start thinking about her more though. Or perhaps more accurately, about what we had. In light of that, I kicked her husband from the guild/clan. I didn't feel like having him in my face any longer. I careffully weighed my reasons for doing so. He messaged me why, I didn't respond. I don't want to cause any trouble. This too shall pass I guess.... Link to post Share on other sites
OJK Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 So.. .Small update. Haven't heard from her. Didn't expect to, and it's fine. I did start thinking about her more though. Or perhaps more accurately, about what we had. In light of that, I kicked her husband from the guild/clan. I didn't feel like having him in my face any longer. I careffully weighed my reasons for doing so. He messaged me why, I didn't respond. I don't want to cause any trouble. This too shall pass I guess.... The reason why she isn't contacting you is because she has already made up her mind about moving on with her husband...That's her first priority ''not you''. I am not sure whether she already moved on but the no contact is definitely helping her to do so. Its tough I know. Believe me I also think about my affair but I know she'll never contact me unless I do. There is nothing left for me there except misery... If you think you have something to fight for, then contact her. Text her, and ask her to call you, have a fun conversation, ignore about the past, remind her of the memories you shared and then tell her that you'll be happy if she contacts you sometimes. Leave it to that and move on. This will keep her wondering and she might pursue you again. But to what extent ? The main question here is that if she is willing to leave her husband for you. If she was strong enough, she would had chosen to tell the husband about her unhappiness and if it still didn't work out, she should had then left him and pursue for her happiness honestly. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 I think maybe you are affected much more than you are willing to admit to yourself. I think you want to be cool and "ok, whatever" (don't we all!) but the fact that you posted here says something. The fact that you felt the need to kick her husband out of your guild/clan because you didn't want him in your face anymore says something. I'm not saying you are devastated, I'm not saying you are aren't ever going to get over what you had with her. I'm just saying be honest with yourself, let yourself feel whatever it is that you feel. That's how it gets put in your past - you process it and move on. That doesn't make you weak, it means you are resilient and strong enough to deal with it head on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TooBad Posted January 12, 2019 Author Share Posted January 12, 2019 I think maybe you are affected much more than you are willing to admit to yourself. I'm willing to admit it, if I would know how to gauge it. The thing is that I grew up in a family where feelings and emotions were not really expressed or talked about. So usually I just shut down, suck it up and ride it out. It has taken me a long time to be able and willing to express what I feel for someone. To even dare show myself as vulnerable. But when something ends, I still mostly shut down. I am trying though. Link to post Share on other sites
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