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Email and text etiquette


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JanuaryAquarian

Should the woman let the man send the last message more times than not?

 

How do you know when a message merits a response and when it does not, or should not require a response?

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Should the woman let the man send the last message more times than not?

 

 

This is just playing head games. It should not be a part of your thought process.

 

 

 

How do you know when a message merits a response and when it does not, or should not require a response?

 

 

General conversational skills/being calibrated to the person you're talking to dictate this. There's no rule here.

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Etiquette is not what gets you in trouble when dating. What gets you into trouble is too much communication by text or voice rather then in person.

 

 

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The last message gets sent by the person who's turn it is when the conversation is. "Cool. See you Tuesday. Bye"

 

A text merits a response when it's a question. But if it's just conversational and the other party is likely busy at work or play, then a response will have to wait.

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Should the woman let the man send the last message more times than not?

 

How do you know when a message merits a response and when it does not, or should not require a response?

 

The first question sounds pedantic. Who cares?

 

To the second question:

1. if the text message is an invitation/request/confirmation or anything of the like then it requires a response in a timely manner.

 

2. If it is information, then it does not require "timely" response.

 

3. If it is an idiom such as "see you later, see you tonight etc." then it requires no response.

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I prefer to send the last message. No way I'm willing to go typing on and on. I end it by saying I gotta go. Then no more texts.

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What about when the dating couple is two men or two women, who should send the last text? Why approach communication between men and women with such arbitrary rules?

 

In my relationship we text when we feel like it. Easy.

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In my relationship we text when we feel like it. Easy.
That is because it has become natural and is balanced. The most common trouble that comes with texting is in the early stages, the first few weeks after two people meet. But after that no one is trying to impress anyone or maintain anyone's attention, so the texting reflects a more natural conversation.
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That is because it has become natural and is balanced. The most common trouble that comes with texting is in the early stages, the first few weeks after two people meet. But after that no one is trying to impress anyone or maintain anyone's attention, so the texting reflects a more natural conversation.

 

It's true what you say. It's hard in the beginning when you don't know each other, and don't know yet how the other person approaches communication or how they operate. But I was seriously asking the OP how those rules would apply to same sex couples...to point out the ridiculousness of applying generic gender rules, versus responding to each other's signals and efforts to connect (or not, and knowing when to pull back). One can't really read cues from texting.

 

Arbitrary male\female rules don't apply to every situation. Same sex couples often deal with a lot of the same communication issues in dating and wondering if the other person is interested. A communication style needs to be established between two people and it's usually unique to those two people (unless someone is following arbitrary rules in which case natural communication can't happen).

 

I will say that my BF made it easy because early on in the few few weeks, he said "you can text me anytime" and he meant it. I never had to wonder, neither of us has to worry about who texted last, there just isn't all of the game playing and wondering that can really screw things up. That being said, we don't use texting to communicate anything about the relationship, that is done in person if needed.

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