She’s dating a racist cocaine dealer; Always leave at 1st red flag!

[RandomGuy00]

TLDR version: Found out girl I was dating was lying about also dating her cocaine dealer for 10+ years! And lied about who he was at first.

 

Hello everyone, been awhile since I’ve posted here. Just wanted to share my recent situation with anyone who cares to read it and remind everyone to ALWAYS stop pursuing someone at the first major red flag that they aren’t single. Save yourself the trouble and don’t make the same mistake I made.

[TLDR version is at the very end]

 

So I met this girl last year (I’ll call her Kimberly for this story) who worked at the same store as me. We became friends and eventually started going out. I was 26 and she was 29. She told me how she just got out of a decade-long relationship with her baby daddy a month before I met her. She met him when she was 14 years old in high school and had their son at 15! But she said that their relationship was mostly negative. I asked her if she was the one who left him and she said yes. She assured me she was completely single now.

 

Fast forward to February 2018 of this year and we started going out. Everything was fine, but then I noticed some guy’s name popped up on her phone calling her while she was driving us somewhere. We’ll call him “Ricardo”. She spoke to him about normal stuff for 10 minutes. Of course I didn’t think anything whatsoever at the time; just thought of him as another 1 of her friends. One time she cancelled on me, saying her “phone fell out from her jeans pocket and got wet in the toilet”. I thought that was very coincidental and bizarre, but once again thought absolutely nothing of it. We were still in the very beginning stages of going out, after all.

 

About 2 months later, I noticed how she’s texting quite often even in the movie theater while we watch a movie. She also constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY goes to the bathroom for somewhat long periods at a time; whether we are at the movies, restaurants or at my house. She claims it’s to “brush her teeth because she has braces”. Later the same night when she goes to get gas at 3:30am in the morning before dropping me off home, she leaves her phone wide open on her messages with the same Ricardo guy. This time my stomach sank. I didn’t even have to touch her phone; she literally just left it open. All I had to do was turn my head and look over. I even took a picture of it as evidence. In the messages Ricardo said “no just wanna go home and see u”. She replied “I won’t be around for 30mins, can u hang in there for me, but if not it’s all good”. He replies “15mins and counting”. She has “where u @“ typed out but not sent yet. I then purposely ask her “what you doing after this?” And of course she says “I’m going home”... LIE and RED FLAG #1. Honestly this is where I should’ve just confronted her about it right then and there.

Next few times we go out, after she gets off the phone with him (while with me), I ask her again “who is that, your friend?” She quickly said “you don’t know him.” She tried to end it there. So I said “ok but how do you know him?” She says “he’s a childhood friend I haven’t seen in awhile.” That convo ended there. About a week or two later, as she’s dropping me off again I asked her “is there anyone else?” As in is she dating anyone else? She said no. Ricardo calls her literally 10 seconds after that, and it was 2am by the way. She tries to flip the phone over as if to hide it but I already saw. I noticed overtime how she’ll turn her hands away from me while texting sometimes, as if to hide it from me and as if I’m too stupid to notice her doing that. At this point I already know not to fully trust her.

 

Fast forward again to a night where many of us coworkers went to the manager’s house to kick back and drink. Everyone notices how Kimberly is so preoccupied with her phone; of course it’s with the same guy. She finally answers his call after ignoring his constant calling and goes in the bathroom for about 35 minutes! So I go ahead and ask our mutual coworker (we’ll call him James). James also hangs out with her as friends outside work. He admitted to me he tried to hook up with her but stopped when he noticed me and her were already going out. Anyway, I thank James for telling me what he did. He said that Ricardo is a connect for her for cocaine! He’s a cocaine dealer! James also told me that he’s seen Kimberly and Ricardo do “quick peck kisses”... that was honestly all I needed to know. Red flags 2 and 3 obviously. He said that me and Ricardo are “in the same boat” and that “she isn’t serious with anyone. if u think u can win her over then go ahead”. Granted I didn’t care about being “serious” with her, but I at the very least wanted to hook up eventually, that’s why I stuck around this long. Even some of the other coworkers thought that he was her boyfriend, or knew something was going on. James then warns me that night “hey, she’s gonna invite him over but it’s cuz I wanna buy from him.” Sure enough he comes over and I meet him. I can already tell something’s up by how he tried putting his arm around her when they sat down. And I also saw him sell to James. When we all leave to go home, I confront her quietly 1 on 1 “wtf why would u invite some guy over?” She said “u weren’t even paying attention to me!” I tell her “I’m not gonna be all over you at [manager]’s house”. She says “you’re doing the most right now” Then she whispers to me “Call me” with a hand gesture, as she’s walking away with him, like she doesn’t want him to hear her say that.

 

Few days later she finally admits she’s “known Ricardo since High school”, that he’s older than her, AND how her “baby daddy didn’t like him either”! This means she most likely has been dating him for many years and slept with him at some point by now; especially if she said her son’s dad doesn’t like him either, but she never elaborated on that. She claims she never slept with him when I specifically asked, and how that’s “not her dude”. She said “we’re all dating” and “we never said we were exclusive” which she’s right about to be fair, but I asked about him 3 times prior and she clearly lied... Then she tried to make me feel guilty because I “asked our coworkers about her and him instead of asking her”. Bull**** because I did ask her previously and she LIED 3 TIMES. That’s exactly what cheaters do when caught.

She doesn’t even wanna walk in the 711 by her house when she’s with me. She told me to stay in the car and said “I always used to come here with my baby daddy; I don’t want them knowing who I’m dating”. What kind of behavior is that?? Like who cares?!

Fast forward to our mutual coworker’s bday; we’ll call her Lorraine. After many of us went to a bar together, some of us agreed we would go to her friend’s house afterwards. Me, Kimberly & Lorraine go back to Kimberly’s car to leave. She then asks me “so are you ordering a lyft? We’re about to wrap it up here.” Making it seem like everyone is going home. I reminded her of the plan to go to the friend’s house but she said Lorraine (who was buzzed and falling asleep) just wanted Kimberly to drive her home. So naturally I left. Sure enough when I ask Kimberly the next day she tells me her, Lorraine and James were at the friend’s house, and she doesn’t know how they ended up there... I then ask Lorraine later and Lorraine tells me her, James, Kimberly AND Ricardo were at the house. Kimberly is a confirmed liar.

 

There was also a time when she randomly pulls out a credit card and calls her friend and says “hey girl, I found this credit card! Buy me shoes online, and send it to your job!” So that tells us what type of person she is. There was also another time where she said her friend got arrested in front of her recently at a 711 because she had 7 old warrants, and she had to pay a lot to bail her out. I ask Kimberly if she’s ever been to jail and she nods yes.

 

Anyway I’m just gonna fast forward to the last and most damning part:

We made a plan to hang out on a Friday a month ago. Sure enough, she cancels on me yet again because her “friend from out of town suddenly came by and had movie tickets”. It’s 12am at the time. She literally hangs up on me and doesn’t answer when I call immediately back, and idc what anyone says, there’s no excuse for this. I got the feeling she pressed the ignore button because it would only ring once then go to voice mail. Not the first time she did this either btw. She then answers finally and I ask her “where are u?” No answer. I ask again, no answer. I ask “you ok?” She says “yes”. She clearly hears me. She then says in a low voice “I appreciate you.” So I say “then come over and prove it.” She then texts me saying “u ready for me? Coming to you” at 3:20am (normal for us). 4am rolls by and she’s still not at my house yet. I call her and on the 4th call, a GUY answers her phone and says “SPEAK!” 5 seconds of silence, then “SPEAK!... Alright then” then hangs up. She calls me right back and it’s the guy again and he says “N**ger!! F***ing f**got a** n**ger!!” Sounds just like Ricardo. I’m mostly African American btw and Ricardo knows that from when we briefly met. I hear Kimberly start talking to him then she hangs up again. She calls back and tells me “I’m trying to leave but can’t”. I tell her “just leave. You said you were coming over”. She responds “I didn’t say that” and then the racist guy yells and replies “I SAID IT!” Then she says we’ll talk later. In my mind I already knew I was done with this mess of a girl.

 

Last part: She calls me back 4 DAYS later on Tuesday, and we meet up at my house to talk. She had THE worst excuse of all time. She said: “Me, my homegirls and guys were at a bar. Some crazy black guy started circling the bar acting strange, then started calling her and her friends racist things like “b**ner” (she’s Latina and so is the cocaine guy). Then she claims one of her guy friends started yelling back at the guy the racist stuff, and that she didn’t mean to answer the phone when I called. She also keeps saying that they were in a place with bad signal which is why my “calls didn’t go thru”. But then she also claims her phone got wet, again! Remember that excuse? She claims this is why it only rang once then went to voice mail, and that she couldn’t answer it. Anyway I calmly tell her “It was 4:14am. The bars were closed...” (bars close at 2am where we live in America). she says “It was one of those special bars that stay open past hours”. I couldn’t believe she was actually saying all this BS. Plus I heard NO background noises whatsoever, which I usually hear when she’s in a bar-type of environment over the phone. She’s clearly a serial liar. I told her to just tell me who this guy is to her already because “I don’t believe you. I think Ricardo answered your phone and yelled racist nonsense to me. Plus I know that he was at Lorraine’s friend’s house with all of you” I told her. She immediately questions me “who told you he was there?” I tell her “Lorraine told me.” She says “So You asked Lorraine?” She always gets defensive like this and tries to find something to flip on me and make me feel guilty, but it never works. I said “yeah and it doesn’t matter. You lied.” She then says “so you don’t believe me. And you still think me and him are a thing but I told you we’re not”. I tell her “Even with the phone call situation aside, you never wanna do anything!” Meaning sexually. She asks “you wanna f**k?” I jokingly respond with “I’m a guy.” It’s because she hardly ever wants to kiss me or be affectionate, even after 8 months. Next she gets defensive and says “You don’t know what I’ve been thru. I told you I was in a relationship for a decade and I’m not ready for that yet”. Normally that wouldn’t bother me much, but there’s another guy involved; a guy who’s been around for 10+ years. What guy sticks around for that long without something sexual happening? Anyway I then say “when will you be then? 2 or 3 years from now? I’m not waiting. You gonna be jealous when I meet someone else?” She says “not that long”, like she won’t make me wait that long but she’s not worth it to begin with. Then once again she tries to make me feel guilty over something by bringing up some random time recently when James told her “why are you acting like a b*tch?” And pretended to be mad that I didn’t suddenly step in and defend her. I told her “because you’re not my girl, right? Like you said”. Although the real reason I didn’t defend her is because she’s a grown woman who can defend herself, and because she IS a b*tch IMO. Anyway I got out the car because she wanted to leave during our argument like she always does; over the phone she usually says “I gotta go, talk to you later” and hangs up. I ghosted her for the next 5 days and of course she noticed. She then called me only twice at 4am while I was sleep, then immediately texts me “fine I won’t call u no more if that’s how u feel” and “was nice knowing you”. I saw it at 8am when I woke up and didn’t care. Since then she said happy thanksgiving to me, and I said it back only to not be a dick. She said “haven’t spoke to you in awhile, feel free to call anytime”. Of course I haven’t. No contact since. If she truly cared then I feel she would make more of an effort than that. I’m starting to believe her son’s dad was the one who left.

 

Thanks for reading everyone! Sorry for the long post and just wanna remind everyone to LEAVE at the 1st sign of a major red flag, especially it being another guy/girl involved. Don’t be overly hopeful over an obvious liar. I didn’t even mention the various cancellations, her possible drinking AND coke problem, and the fact she’s not easy to get a hold of, thru txting or calling. Being completely single and not dating again (yet) feels like such a relief for me. My mind is at ease again. Should I have ended it earlier? Did I make the right choice by completely leaving her in the dust? I’m willing to hear you guys’ opinions / advice if you want to chime in. And happy holidays!

 

TLDR version: Found out girl I was dating was lying about also dating her cocaine dealer for 10+ years! And lied about who he was at first.

Edited December 19, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Synopsis to top and move to CFJ

[Purepony]

Stop wasting your time!

 

You knew that so why are you second guessing this mess to begin with ?

 

Get away and block her!

 

Block this woman becauee you don’t need this drama.

[amaysngrace]

It sounds like coke is her main love. It’s hard to compete with that.

[aliveagain]

There are at least 3.5 billion women on the planet, a lying coke head shouldn't even be on your list of potential paramour's. You did the right thing, let her be someone else's problem. You are who you hang with, life's hard enough without bringing her kind of drama into your life. Loose her number. Your point is well taken, don't ignore the red flags to keep someone that can lie to you in your life. You deserve someone so much better then her.

[stillafool]

I can't believe you actually took her out again after you caught her in a lie the first time. You shouldn't have even looked her way again after that. It doesn't surprise me that she is into drug dealers as it seems a lot of young women are nuts over these guys lately.

[amaysngrace]

It doesn't surprise me that she is into drug dealers as it seems a lot of young women are nuts over these guys lately.

 

It’s the fentanyl. That stuff is in everything now.

[El Duendecillo]

Randomguy, this may come across a bit blunt, but it's not intended to bash you.

 

Question: Did you give, or borrow this woman money, or other material assistance?

 

I ask because as I read your story, I could not help but wonder what she got out this relationship (or friendship) with you? Especially since you've revealed it was never a sexual relationship.

 

Honestly, it sounds like you played yourself in this situation. Based on your account of events, she never really seriously tried to hide her other relationships from you, perhaps to the extent of keeping you around as a friend, or to use you. You eluded to the fact that you stuck around hoping she would have sex with you, yet it never happened.

 

My honest take is, as damaged as your version of events makes this woman seem, you chose to stay far longer than you should have. You saw and discovered many "Red Flags", but chose to excuse them away, hoping to get in her pants. As I see it, much of your "Red Flag" abuse was self-inflicted. You could have walked away at the first sign of troubled. There are many, many drama free ladies out here for you to meet.

[RandomGuy00]

EDIT: Everyone I just noticed I made a small mistake in my first message! I meant to type that Ricardo said “No just wanna go home OR see you”. I accidentally put “AND see you”. That was my mistake. They do NOT live together as far as I know.

 

Anyway I’m reading all your responses now and will answer momentarily. Thanks!

[RandomGuy00]

Randomguy, this may come across a bit blunt, but it's not intended to bash you.

 

Question: Did you give, or borrow this woman money, or other material assistance?

 

I ask because as I read your story, I could not help but wonder what she got out this relationship (or friendship) with you? Especially since you've revealed it was never a sexual relationship.

 

Honestly, it sounds like you played yourself in this situation. Based on your account of events, she never really seriously tried to hide her other relationships from you, perhaps to the extent of keeping you around as a friend, or to use you. You eluded to the fact that you stuck around hoping she would have sex with you, yet it never happened.

 

My honest take is, as damaged as your version of events makes this woman seem, you chose to stay far longer than you should have. You saw and discovered many "Red Flags", but chose to excuse them away, hoping to get in her pants. As I see it, much of your "Red Flag" abuse was self-inflicted. You could have walked away at the first sign of troubled. There are many, many drama free ladies out here for you to meet.

 

Thanks! I want all of you to be blunt like that and thanks! Please be as harsh as possible. My skin is thick.

 

Anyway, no she wouldn’t ask to borrow money. The most she got out of it I guess was me buying both our drinks most of the time at bars, me paying for our movie tickets I’d say 75% of the time, and me paying for our dinner “dates” half the time. And she would stay over my house until 5am or 6am sometimes, and slept over only once. I say this because she says her apartment where she lives is “crowded; we’re like sardines in there!” She said. There’s her, her 14 yr old son, her mom and dad, and her auntie is staying over for a while and is annoying Kimberly with how messy her aunt is.

 

What she did for me was drive us everywhere (I offered to Uber us around but she always refused), She would have movie tickets for both of us every now and then, and we would take turns buying “rounds” of beers at bars (like I said, I feel like I still payed most of the time though). Of course she would sometimes not even wanna take me all the way home (I don’t live too far from her) unless I helped pay for gas, which I did 2 or 3 times.

 

Also as of now I don’t work at her store anymore and actually haven’t since March, a few weeks after I left her store. So it’s been a while since I used to see her everyday like when I worked with her.

 

Also yes I “played myself” but I only stuck around this long because I had soon met another really great girl at a new store I moved to (which I have also since left). I met her before knowing about how sketchy Kimberly truly is and before knowing about the cocaine stuff. She was actually a good girl I had for 2 months (since me and Kimberly were not exclusively dating) who would even cook for me and bring me lunch. It really showed me the contrast between a “great” partner and a terrible one. Long story short, I convinced her to leave me because I secretly wasn’t feeling her anymore. I felt bad about it but She was too “clingy” for me, and you can’t force yourself to be with someone.

 

But now I just wanna chill and be by myself right now. I’m down with meeting someone who wants to hook up but that’s about it (I live in a big city). I’ve been single 99% of my life (not exaggerating) and am used to it. Thanks for all of your responses again. I guess its because I went out with Kimberly for the last 8 months that I naturally started to care for her, but not anymore.

[RandomGuy00]

Loose her number.

 

^ I still have it. Honestly this is the last thing I’m having trouble doing.

(And you’re 100% right on everything you said)

[El Duendecillo]

Thanks! I want all of you to be blunt like that and thanks! Please be as harsh as possible. My skin is thick.

 

Your story resonated with me because I went through the very same thing many, many years ago, with a woman I "thought" I was in a relationship with. Turns out that I was playing myself big time. I could have written your post twenty years ago. It took lots blunt advice from friends and family before I finally snapped out of it.

 

 

But now I just wanna chill and be by myself right now. I’m down with meeting someone who wants to hook up but that’s about it (I live in a big city).

 

Sounds that you've learned much from this experience, and you will take this knowledge into future relationships. When you're ready, there are many decent ladies out here to meet.

[RandomGuy00]

Your story resonated with me because I went through the very same thing many, many years ago, with a woman I "thought" I was in a relationship with. Turns out that I was playing myself big time. I could have written your post twenty years ago. It took lots blunt advice from friends and family before I finally snapped out of it.

 

Sounds that you've learned much from this experience, and you will take this knowledge into future relationships. When you're ready, there are many decent ladies out here to meet.

 

Thanks, & I’m sorry for what you went through. Glad you’re doing better.

 

Also forgot to briefly mention 2 more sketchy “events”:

When at my house she accidentally pulled out what looked like 2 cigarettes from her sweater pocket. I had no idea she smoked cigarettes. She’s also slightly woken up at my house one time reaching her hand out saying “give me the stuff...” she was still half sleep, then looked around and fully woke up and said “I gotta get going.” I may be stretching with this one but it all seems sketchy to me, and this was after I knew about all the BS.

 

Another time while at a bar, 1 of our mutual coworkers/friends who she really likes and gets along with (we’ll call him Bill) out of nowhere told her “Kimberly, you really need to stop hanging out with Ricardo. He’s a bad influence”. Of course when I question her about that later she says “Bill thinks he knows more than he does, but he doesn’t.” It’s all BS I’m sure though. Bill had also already told me something I already knew a month prior to this: “Kimberly is a cool friend to hang with, but I wouldn’t date her. She’s okay with taking advantage”.

 

I may sound harsh here but normally I would never want to “date” or spend too much time with a girl who has a child because I have none of my own, and I know the possible drama it can come with, which is exactly what happened; although in her case it’s because of the type of sketchy person she is. I decided since there was no one else, she’s cute and we had some things in common that I’d give it a try and see where things go. But I’m done “waiting” for her to suddenly wanna “hook up” or be more “affectionate” after 8 months, and while some other drug dealer whom she’s been witnessed kissing has also in the picture for a decade since High school.

 

Plus I could tell she doesn’t seem to be the happiest person in life when I was with her, especially how overtime she’d complain about work more and more until she eventually said recently she “might quit if not get fired first”. I on the other hand have a great new job since August and feel I’m doing well with my mind at ease.

[ExpatInItaly]

Who the heck did you turn down to date this mess?

 

Seriously, OP, this woman is pretty bottom-of-the-barrel. I very much hope for you that she was not your only option. You need much higher standards. I cannot fathom why you stuck around so long.

[Amethyst68]

Honestly, a lying drug user who has no problem stealing?

 

You seriously need to raise your standards, IMO being alone would be a better option.

 

I would also be watching my accounts closely, if she has no problem using other people's credit cards be careful she didn't get hold of any of your account detail while she was with you!

[stillafool]

I agree with the others OP, this woman is as bottom of the barrel as they come. I'm having a hard time processing what you ever saw in her. Is she extremely good looking or something?

[RandomGuy00]

Thanks for your responses.

 

Who the heck did you turn down to date this mess?

 

Seriously, OP, this woman is pretty bottom-of-the-barrel. I very much hope for you that she was not your only option. You need much higher standards. I cannot fathom why you stuck around so long.

 

I didn’t “turn anyone down” for her, I just happened to end it with the 2nd girl I met first for other reasons I mentioned. Had nothing to do with her though.

 

I thought she was cute when I met her and I only stuck around because 1: the 2nd girl I met and 2: I ended up kinda liking her “bad girl” side, until I found out about the other guy. Plus I don’t have the most “experience” with this whole thing and wanted to try something new at the time.

 

Honestly, a lying drug user who has no problem stealing?

 

You seriously need to raise your standards, IMO being alone would be a better option.

 

I would also be watching my accounts closely, if she has no problem using other people's credit cards be careful she didn't get hold of any of your account detail while she was with you!

 

Yeah normally my “standards” are higher, but I wasn’t involved with anyone else at the time and hadn’t been for awhile.

Attempting to use other people’s credit cards is indeed a felony.

She never asked me for my credit card or information at any point for any reason. Plus I’d never let anyone borrow it for any reason, nor did I let her borrow money. Like I said, the most I did for her was pay for most of her movie tickets, dinner dates and gas. We were never anywhere close to being serious (nor did we want to be).

 

I agree with the others OP, this woman is as bottom of the barrel as they come. I'm having a hard time processing what you ever saw in her. Is she extremely good looking or something?

 

I thought she kinda was very good looking at first. I enjoyed going out with her in the beginning and overstayed because I thought she’d “give it up” soon towards the end. I made sure not to spend too much of my resources on her the whole time.

[ExpatInItaly]

I didn’t “turn anyone down” for her, I just happened to end it with the 2nd girl I met first for other reasons I mentioned. Had nothing to do with her though.

 

I thought she was cute when I met her and I only stuck around because 1: the 2nd girl I met and 2: I ended up kinda liking her “bad girl” side, until I found out about the other guy. Plus I don’t have the most “experience” with this whole thing and wanted to try something new at the time.

 

It was meant as an ironic sentiment more than anything, OP. While you were seeing her, I imagine you weren't looking too hard at other women, which is a shame because nearly anything would have been better than this. It's not a word I use often to describe a person, but "trashy" was bouncing around pretty hard in my head as I read your post about her. She's far from a catch. There is a reason the guy who got her is a loser himself.

 

Also, there is a big difference between not having "experience" with a "bad girl" and not having common sense, man. When you clearly know that a woman is lying to you (which you knew fairly early on), that is your cue to leave. You don't need to wait to find out the man she's lying about is also her drug dealer whom she sleeps with.

 

Were you just hanging on to this person in the hopes she'd have sex with you?

[RandomGuy00]

It was meant as an ironic sentiment more than anything, OP. While you were seeing her, I imagine you weren't looking too hard at other women, which is a shame because nearly anything would have been better than this. It's not a word I use often to describe a person, but "trashy" was bouncing around pretty hard in my head as I read your post about her. She's far from a catch. There is a reason the guy who got her is a loser himself.

 

Also, there is a big difference between not having "experience" with a "bad girl" and not having common sense, man. When you clearly know that a woman is lying to you (which you knew fairly early on), that is your cue to leave. You don't need to wait to find out the man she's lying about is also her drug dealer whom she sleeps with.

 

Were you just hanging on to this person in the hopes she'd have sex with you?

 

Yes I was . She claims to have not slept with him but idc anymore; she’s already admitted that her son’s dad doesn’t like him either so that should be enough evidence there. I figured since she’s a “trashy” person (you’re right about that) that she would, and I didn’t mind waiting at the time but I’m definitely done now. And she’s clearly on a downward path and doesn’t even wanna mess around.

[olivetree]

Lol, your story is funny OP.

 

From your story, I kinda get the feeling she's not really "dating" Ricardo.

I think she is leading him on so he'll give her free coke or cheap coke or be her b$tch or whatever.

Plus she likes the attention and she hates to be physically alone but she can't handle real intimacy.

Pretty much what she was doing with you, minus the long history and coke.

 

She is definitely a mess that should be avoided.

[mrs rubble]

Random guy, please stay away from her and James and anyone else who does cocaine, you don't want to be caught up or implicated if they ever get busted for it, drug users are often thieves, liars and violent people....just stay right away.

I dumped an ex of mine the moment I found out he was a meth user.

[RandomGuy00]

Lol, your story is funny OP.

 

From your story, I kinda get the feeling she's not really "dating" Ricardo.

I think she is leading him on so he'll give her free coke or cheap coke or be her b$tch or whatever.

Plus she likes the attention and she hates to be physically alone but she can't handle real intimacy.

Pretty much what she was doing with you, minus the long history and coke.

 

She is definitely a mess that should be avoided.

 

Yeah that’s what my ex-coworker who I called “James” in my story was trying to tell me too; that me and her dealer guy are “in the same boat” and she likes both of us he said. She says I’m a “great guy” and claims to “care about me”. All I know is I remember Ricardo’s voice from when we briefly met, and that definitely sounded like him during that racist phone call incident at 4:00am.

 

Random guy, please stay away from her and James and anyone else who does cocaine, you don't want to be caught up or implicated if they ever get busted for it, drug users are often thieves, liars and violent people....just stay right away.

I dumped an ex of mine the moment I found out he was a meth user.

 

Thanks for reading and for the advice from both of you.

 

Yeah I can tell she’s possibly worse than what I know based on the many things I’ve learned / witnessed:

- her trying to use a found credit card; even telling her girl friend over the phone to “order shoes online, send it to her friend’s job and hurry up before it’s cancelled”

- her cocaine dealer “friend” of 10+ years, obviously

- she said she’s been to jail before but I forgot to ask her to elaborate

- has friends who have been arrested right in front of her, and who she had to bail out she said

- she drinks a lot and always had a vodka bottle in her car I learned overtime

- excessive bathroom trips (at any location)

- not illegal, but she also told me and some coworkers that she bought a Halloween costume for $10 then sold it for $40 on ebay.

- her not wanting to walk in the convenience store with me by her house

- accidentally pulling out cigarettes from her pocket. Didn’t know she smoked cigs and I hate cigs.

- minor, but her never wanting to go directly to her house if I’m with her (I still don’t exactly know where she lives; only the area).

 

As for the other now-ex-coworkers who did coke also, I never really see them unless on a super special occasion. Plus I mainly contacted them thru her, and I’m done with her so I’ll be fine legality-wise. Never did coke, never will.

Edited December 20, 2018 by RandomGuy00