What are your Love Obstacles

[Mysterio]

I have asked this before

 

So if you had to put it in a few words. What do you think your Love Obstacles in your life have been, be you in a relationship or just dating etc?

 

For me, every girl that I like or think of in a romantic way is attached. If they are single, They are very hard to just go out with.

 

Anytime I get a romantic interest from a woman, is when I don't care. Never when I am into a woman making an obvious effort with her. I don't gt. Its like I don' want to be one of those men, who is putting the woman through an emotional ringer.

 

Contrast that to friendships, and in that area of my life. No problems for the most part.

 

I don't get it.

[nospam99]

I don't get it.

 

'That is why you fail.' Yoda

[Eternal Sunshine]

I meet no single men my age in real life. In the last year, I have actually met zero. They all have wives and children. I only meet single men through online dating which doesn't work for me. I am not wired to be attracted to total strangers.

 

 

I don't see the possibility of this changing. When you think about meeting a man that is single and also clicking with him, with mutual attraction and desire for a relationship etc. It's just not possible.

 

 

I have made peace with this lately and am feeling much better. I am no longer looking and that part of my life is over.

[planb1973]

I attract broken women and women who want to commit but cant. As much as I pay attention for red flags they put up a good front till their true selfs come shining right through just about the time I fall in love.

[Blanco]

For all of the good advice I can dole out, I'm extremely guarded when it comes to dating/forming potential romantic relationships. I can open up well once in a relationship, but my screening process is so over-the-top that I end up not even really dating around. I'm in a relationship, it ends, and then I practically live like a monk until the next relationship comes around, which is always quite a time after the previous one.

[chillii]

Well, l'm up against the biggest right now as we speak, l suppose you would say it's myself.

 

But , l dunno if l'm brave enough now to try yet again , love her, go with it , after divorce and then something else not working out.

l'm trying to figure myself out before l lose her through my own fault.

[Gretchen12]

My obstacle is that I cannot deal with a guy who cannot believe what I say.

 

Meeting men to date is very easy in person (not online). I'm approachable. Finding a man compatible enough for a relationship is hard.

 

I am extremely direct. But often men are very complicated. They read more into something simple and straightforward. I don't hint, I spell it out. Meanwhile the guy goes into some convoluted analysis that's all wrong.

 

Whenever I encounter this type of thing, I give up, because there's no future when you don't think the same way.

[Artdeco]

I can love almost unconditionally if I trust somebody. And that means, in a romantic relationship, I don’t want anybody else, ever - BUT i have a problem sharing my life 24 seven with a SO.......so moving in together to me is an obstacle which almost always causes major conflict. Because I love the person but I can’t commit to sharing the household. That’s just my “weird thing” - and I hope it can be resolved at some point. As has happened in the past, this very decision will break (or make) my current relationship.

[carhill]

So if you had to put it in a few words. What do you think your Love Obstacles in your life have been, be you in a relationship or just dating etc?

 

When younger, a lousy people picker and giving way too much BOTD.

 

Now, cynicism.

[chillii]

I can love almost unconditionally if I trust somebody. And that means, in a romantic relationship, I don’t want anybody else, ever - BUT i have a problem sharing my life 24 seven with a SO.......so moving in together to me is an obstacle which almost always causes major conflict. Because I love the person but I can’t commit to sharing the household. That’s just my “weird thing” - and I hope it can be resolved at some point. As has happened in the past, this very decision will break (or make) my current relationship.

 

 

Yeah l hear you. It broke up my marriage basically , my crazy need for space and l don't even know how to explain what l need to be happy living with someone.

 

But now , the goods were surreal but it was also pretty rough for awhile there, me being me too , l'm amazed she kept trying and didn't pack her bags.

But l'm settling in lately and l'm trying to remember to appreciate just what l actually have and to enjoy all the goods which are many many.

And to try to be a bit more reasonable and nice about my stupid bloody space thing and even worse, not being a morng person. You really don't wanna even bother with me in the mornings if you say nothing until lunchtime that would suit me just fine haha.

 

Anyway , being a bit more reasonable is making the world of difference and l have to admit l'm loving it lately as we find our groove .

 

Good luck.

[Sinister]

Anytime I get a romantic interest from a woman, is when I don't care. Never when I am into a woman making an obvious effort with her.

 

I don't get it.

This is extremely common. And it works both ways for the most part. We don't value something that we don't have to work for.

 

 

 

Obstacles? I don't think of it like that. There's nothing wrong, or dishonest or unauthentic about the way I approach women. I will say I limit my candidates by putting a premium on honestly and intelligence (there really is very little more attractive about a woman than her character). But its not gonna work if thats not there.

 

If she doesn't have it, she won't value that about me.

[See-Me-Feel-Me]

I took breakups too hard. Turns out I needed medicine to change the intensity of my feelings and manner. Some folks are wired too tight for their own good. I've never gotten someone I was in love with, but can say I did love my first and last. I'm single, but am motivated to make 2019 a comeback year for Mr. Swinging Dick. I lost 40 lbs in the last few months and am joining the rec center January to work out and build me a hunk again. Watch out ladies.

[RecentChange]

I meet no single men my age in real life. In the last year, I have actually met zero. They all have wives and children. I only meet single men through online dating which doesn't work for me. I am not wired to be attracted to total strangers.

 

I don't see the possibility of this changing. When you think about meeting a man that is single and also clicking with him, with mutual attraction and desire for a relationship etc. It's just not possible.

 

 

I have made peace with this lately and am feeling much better. I am no longer looking and that part of my life is over.

 

Curious - where do you live? Where I am at - its crawling with single, available men. TONS of them. I know way more single men then I do married ones, and even less with kids.

 

Heck, it even has a nickname, "Man Jose" (instead of San Jose). The male to female ratios here are worse than the most disproportionate parts of china. Among 20-30 year olds, its 134 young men to every 100 women. Other major cities, New York, DC, Philly also have disproportionate male to female ratios.

 

If you truly are happy with the idea of living out your days as a spinster, I guess there is no problem to be solved.

 

But if not, would you consider a relocation?

[Giraffe-A]

Work. I couldn’t find anyone I liked more than I loved my job and money. But I had been a great house wifey before so I very much missed it, but I did not live around my peers. Guys were either really young or super old or too far away and ALL taken! Each and every single one of them. I’m starting to feel I will be one of those 60 year old-never married with like 2 Pomeranians and a house by a lake.

[Mysterio]

Might as well try to live it up being single. I have no problem being single. it's the dating thing that gets frustrating.

 

My desire to have a romantic relationship with a woman and grow together. I think that my ideal relationship is simple. It's not like I want a ton of kids or fly all over the world.

[chillii]

Probably best to just go on with life and enjoy yourself then keeping your eye out until that special lady pops up one day.

[SameMistake]

Where do I start? Grew up in an abusive home, saw abusive relationships around me. Hated it, but fell into it myself. First boyfriend was very romantic, and controlling. Punched holes in the walls during arguments.

 

Rinse and repeat in the majority of my adult relationships. Including the one I ended not even an hour ago.

 

My part: I choose abusers. Some part of me must think I deserve this kind of treatment though I *think* I love myself. I try to see the "good" in everyone and give people the benefit of the doubt far too often, thus, signing myself up for abusive situations.

 

Gotta take a long pause and continue my education instead of looking for love. I'm obviously not capable of finding a healthy partner at this point in time.

[chillii]

lt could be more just a personality trait they have that your attracted to and get along with but that unfortunately might often later end up to be an abusive personalty.

like they might all have a fun edge to start with or be charmers or love bomb ya or some other in common trait.

 

 

lf you can find the common trait and then stay away from anyone else with those traits then hopefully he won't turn out to be an abuser.

 

 

Just a thought.

[todreaminblue]

i think of late that i feel like im on a sinking ship....so many problems with the people around me i am dealing with...my own health issues now as well........no one would want to come aboard such a ship wreck and feel joy about being with me.....its damn hard to stay afloat on my boat.....i fish out my happiness when i can and in absurd sometimes situations.....like dog drool the other day made me laugh...dog drool....

 

i would want to be a source of happiness and motivation for a man i am with....not unhappiness....so i feel its best i stay single and man my ship alone.....at least until it might be a little seaworthy......and i dont crack up over a dog drooling for ham.....at least to say ...my ham is always very very succulent....i basted it in morello cherries this xmas....dogs must love cherries and ham to drool the way they do.....

 

i have put the ham away and plan on making pea and ham soup....at least when my ship is seaworthy....any man i am with...will never ever go hungry..

 

i also think that an obstacle i have with finding a man...is i cannot for the life of me ....roast a whole duck..i need to be able to do that..before i claim my guy..deb

[planb1973]

Where do I start? Grew up in an abusive home, saw abusive relationships around me. Hated it, but fell into it myself. First boyfriend was very romantic, and controlling. Punched holes in the walls during arguments.

 

Rinse and repeat in the majority of my adult relationships. Including the one I ended not even an hour ago.

 

My part: I choose abusers. Some part of me must think I deserve this kind of treatment though I *think* I love myself. I try to see the "good" in everyone and give people the benefit of the doubt far too often, thus, signing myself up for abusive situations.

 

Gotta take a long pause and continue my education instead of looking for love. I'm obviously not capable of finding a healthy partner at this point in time.

 

I'm curious about this. I seem to attract women who have a background such as yours. I am not abusive in any way yet women with troubled backgrounds seem to latch on to me, then about the time I develop strong fingerlings they get scared and run. Its like a healthy relationship is so foreign they don't know what to do.

[L0nely]

My love obstacle was trying to find a guy that isn't living with their parents, family members, or friends. Basically a guy living out on his own, but still has good connections/communications with his parents and family. That is such a turn on for me.

[Mysterio]

Once again. my obstacles are to find a woman that is single and childless. No rush to get into marriage or have kids.

 

She is really attracted to m and making effort to know m and is physically attracted to m and desire to kiss/make out with m/Mak love 3 times a wk or however, it works out.

 

Sh is open to going to music venues and travel and working out and having interesting conversations and laughs, but we both give space to each other do little specific things that bring pleasure to the other.

Edited December 30, 2018 by Mysterio

[hotpotato]

I hate first dates.

 

Right now being single feels like my destiny. Maybe I wasn't meant to date anyone. Much of the advice I've gotten was to date men who are less attractive than myself, which I've already done for years.

 

Maybe I spent too much time single.